Tag: ESPN (Page 9 of 18)

Bill Simmons on the KG news

Predictably, Simmons was crushed to learn that Kevin Garnett will be unable to play early on in the playoffs. His editor asked him for an immediate reaction.

The best thing about being a sports fan on the West Coast: Every game comes on three hours earlier. I watched a 12-inning Boston-Oakland game Tuesday night that ended at the totally reasonable time of 11:29 p.m. Had I stayed up for that one on the East Coast, I would have been dead for work the next day, Oh, wait, I don’t have a real job. Bad example. But you get the idea.

The worst thing about being a sports fan on the West Coast: Things happen while you’re sleeping. I never know what to expect upon first glance at my Blackberry. Today, I woke up at 7:10 in the morning, trekked downstairs, let my dog outside, ground some coffee beans, filled the filter, added the water, got the brewing process going, and then, even as I was still wiping the crust from my eyes, these three e-mails were atop my inbox…

It’s interesting to read his stuff on a shortened timeline. (He says he had only 150 minutes to write the piece.) Is it as funny or as good as his usual columns? You be the judge.

Who is Bill Simmons’ MVP?



Every year, Bill Simmons runs down the MVP race from No. 450 to No. 1 (don’t worry, he skips over a lot of players), and this year is no different.

450. Elton Brand
Dramatically edged out Gilbert Arenas and Tracy McGrady for the coveted LVP (“Least Valuable Player”) Award. Here’s what pushed it over the top: Not only did EB destroy Philly’s cap through 2035, he left the Clips with enough cap space that they reacted the same way looters react during a riot. They wanted to walk out of the store with something … or in this case, Marcus Camby, Ricky Davis, Zach Randolph and a 27-inch Sharp LCD. In a floundering economy, should they have guarded that extra cap room and bided their time like The Team That Shall Not Be Named did? OF COURSE!!!! OF COURSE!!!!! When you include Brand’s luring of Baron Davis to the Clippers, causing the Warriors to overreact with $66 million for Corey Maggette and Ronny Turiaf, you could argue that Brand murdered one franchise and gravely wounded two others. Sounds like an LVP to me.

166. Manu Ginobili
Ways I’d dissuade my stars from participating in the Olympics or World Basketball Championships if I owned an NBA team: $1 million under-the-table bonus for NOT participating; free lease of a brand-new Maybach every year; bribery with help from a secretly recorded sex session with a hooker I hired to seduce them; blowing up the aforementioned Maybach as a final threat not to go; and finally, kidnapping.

Simmons goes on to compare Wade’s career with Jack Bauer’s, and describes all the different reasons why ___________ is his 2009 MVP.

Couch Potato Alert: 4/10

Comedian Robin Williams once joked that spring was nature’s way of saying “let’s party,” and this weekend, the party will be in front of your TV. The NBA and NHL are winding down their regular seasons, while baseball is concluding its first week. And don’t forget the yearly chase for the elusive green jacket at Augusta. Too many options…not enough time to watch them all. Thank God for DVR technology. Enjoy!

All times ET…

NBA
Fri, 8 PM: New York Knicks @ Orlando Magic (ESPN2)
Sat, 7 PM: Detroit Pistons @ Indiana Pacers (NBA TV)
Sun, 1 PM: Dallas Mavericks @ New Orleans Hornets (ABC)
Sun, 3:30 PM: Boston Celtics @ Cleveland Cavaliers (ABC)
Sun, 6 PM: Philadelphia 76ers @ Toronto Raptors (NBA TV)

NHL
Sat, 7 PM: Ottawa Senators @ Toronto Maple Leafs (CBC)
Sat, 10 PM: Edmonton Oilers @ Calgary Flames (CBC)
Sun, 2 PM: Detroit Red Wings @ Chicago Blackhawks (NBC)

MLB
Sat, 4 PM: Boston Red Sox @ Los Angeles Angels (Fox)
Sun, 1 PM: New York Mets @ Florida Marlins (TBS)
Sun, 8 PM: Chicago Cubs @ Milwaukee Brewers (ESPN)

PGA
Fri-Sun, check your local listing for times: The Masters @ The Augusta National Golf Club (ESPN/CBS)

Couch Potato Alert: 4/3

This weekend, WrestleMania 25 will be held in Houston, and it promises to be one of the biggest shows of the year. It’s a culmination of the past year’s feuds decided inside the squared circle. Vince McMahon created this event and Hulk Hogan put it on the map, but the rabid fans have turned WrestleMania into wrestling’s own Super Bowl. Their support has transformed the WWE into the most successful pro wrestling promotion in entertainment sports today. And for that, they should be applauded!

All times ET…

NBA
Friday, 8 PM: Cleveland Cavaliers @ Orlando Magic (ESPN)
Friday, 10:30 PM: Houston Rockets @ Los Angeles Lakers (ESPN)
Saturday, 3 PM: Detroit Pistons @ Philadelphia 76ers (ESPN)
Saturday, 7 PM: Miami Heat @ Washington Wizards (NBA TV)
Sunday, 1 PM: San Antonio Spurs @ Cleveland Cavaliers (ABC)
Sunday, 3:30 PM: Phoenix Suns @ Dallas Mavericks (ABC)
Sunday, 7 PM: Portland Trail Blazers @ Houston Rockets (NBA TV)

NHL
Saturday, 7 PM: Philadelphia Flyers @ Ottawa Senators (CBC)
Saturday, 10 PM: Vancouver Canucks @ Edmonton Oilers (CBC)
Sunday, 12:30 PM: Minnesota Wild @ Detroit Red Wings (NBC)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament
Saturday, 6:07 PM: (2) Michigan State vs. (1) Connecticut (CBS)
Saturday, 8:47 PM: (3) Villanova vs. (1) North Carolina (CBS)

NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament
Sunday, 7 PM: (3) Louisville vs. (1) Oklahoma (ESPN)
Sunday, 9 PM: (2) Stanford vs. (1) Connecticut (ESPN)

MLB
Sunday, 8 PM: Atlanta Braves @ Philadelphia Phillies (ESPN)

Correcting Bill Simmons, Part 4: Bill’s not-so-unique idea and more three-point talk

In Bill Simmons’ latest mailbag, he responds to a number of different reader questions. Most of his answers are fine, but a few are puzzling…

There should be a section on eBay that allows the auctioning of enticing future bets. For instance, a few weeks before the NBA season, I placed $300 on 15-to-1 odds that Cleveland would win the 2009 NBA title. Those odds have dropped to 2-to-1. Not that I would (after all, Cleveland is going to win the 2009 NBA title), but shouldn’t I have the option to sell that $300 ticket on eBay? What if someone bid $1,200 on it (which would be a smart move because, again, Cleveland is going to win the NBA title) and I was guaranteed a $900 return on my investment? Should I take the money? This would be a fun Web site, you have to admit. And if eBay can’t do it, then why couldn’t the casinos themselves build a Web site that allows people to sell future tickets and get a second cut on the action? It all makes too much sense.

Yeah…okay…this already exists — it’s called a “long-term market” and my favorite online sportsbook WSEX.com, has had them for at least five years now. Go to the site, hit “Pro Basketball” on the left, hit “Pro Championship” under “Long-Term Markets” on the main screen — there’s a long-term market where gamblers can buy and sell wagers on who will win the NBA championship. They have 1-pays (where only a share in the winner is worth something) and 4-pays (where shares in the winner, runner-up, and third and fourth place teams are worth something). You can buy and sell these shares throughout the year.

How does a guy that calls himself “The Sports Guy” not know about this? Didn’t he hit up any of his colleagues/friends at ESPN in all the time that he has pondered this eBay idea of his?

As of right…..now…..I’m not going to refer to Bill Simmons as “The Sports Guy” any longer. As far as I’m concerned, he has lost the right to have that nickname.

And then there’s this doozy…

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