Jeff Darlington of the Miami Herald was apparently so sick of the recent rumors that Brett Favre is coming back this season to quarterback the Dolphins that he actually traveled to Hattiesburg, Mississippi to ask Favre himself whether or not he’s returning.

And Darlington got the word straight from the horse’s mouth: Brett isn’t coming back.

Below are a series of tweets from Darlington that he posted after speaking with Favre:

After a 10-hour stakeout, I finally tracked down Favre. He was headed to take a team photo with players at Oak Grove High near his ranch.

In Hattiesburg, I just asked Brett Favre if he’s interested in joining Dolphins: “I haven’t heard anything & I don’t have any interest. No.”

If you don’t believe his words, you can believe my eyes: Brett Favre walks slowly and gingerly, every step taking considerable effort.

Favre apparently asked Darlington, “You’re from Miami? Don’t you have anything better to do?”

No, you attention-loving hooker, he doesn’t. It’s because of you that media members like Darlington will go to great lengths to try to uncover the truth about whether or not you’re playing. You’ve pulled this dog and pony show so many times that perfectly sane men feel the need to travel four states in order to track you down and cut through the B.S.

Anyone who watched Favre’s remaining games last year saw a man who was done. Let’s not entertain the idea that he’s coming back – stick a fork in him, it’s over.

Or is it…

What do we think will happen in 2011? Ha! We’re glad you asked. As part of our 2010 Year End Sports Review, we see good things ahead for Duke, the Celtics and the Saints. We see cursed days ahead for the Phillies and Giants, and one Florida Gator-sized reunion in Denver. We also like Carmelo to play for the…hey, why are we telling you all this? Read for yourself below, lazy. (And have an open mind – we had some fun with this section.)

Contributors: Anthony Stalter, John Paulsen, Paul Costanzo, Drew Ellis and Mike Farley

You think he’s gone? He’s not gone. He’s never gone!

Brett Favre has duped us before with his retirement talk, so why should we buy what he’s selling now? Lord Favre says 2010 will be his final season, but after spending a couple of months on his ranch next summer, he’ll get the itch to return. And some team will welcome him back. And the media will torture us with their 24-hour Favre watch. And the dreaded cycle of death will continue. So which lucky team will have No. 4 in uniform next season? While we wouldn’t rule out the possibility of Favre returning to the Vikings for one more year now that Brad Childress is gone, that’s not a very fun projection. Thus, what about Da Raaaaaaaiders? Huh? Can you see it now? Lord Favre and Al Davis at the podium holding up their pointer fingers and saying, “Just win baby.” No? Ah, you’re no fun.

Carmelo will be a Knickerbocker next year.

Book ‘em, Danno. The writing is on the wall. He hasn’t signed the three-year extension that the Nuggets offered last summer and has reportedly decided that the only team he’ll agree to be traded to is the New York Knicks. This means that if the Nuggets are hoping to get something substantial for him, they’ll have to move him before the February trade deadline. Since there appears to be only one team in the running, the deal isn’t going to be very good. We wouldn’t want to be Nugget fans right now — the rebuilding process is about to begin.
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There are only five things I truly hate in life: Grilled cheese sandwiches, broccoli, grape juice, the Los Angeles Dodgers and drama.

Before I continue, yes, I hate grilled cheese sandwiches. And no, I don’t know why. Maybe because the bread is soaked in butter and there’s enough cheese on the damn thing to clog my arteries for two lifetimes. Throw some damn meat on there and then maybe we can talk.

Outside of maybe the Dodgers (regular readers know I’m a Giants fan), nothing in my group of hates annoys me more than drama. Whether it comes from movies or real life, drama is like pop-up ads when you’re trying to look at content that is not suitable for work.

That is why around this time of year, Brett Favre and Brad Childress really fry my eggs. Listen to what Childress had to say yesterday to the media in relation to Favre’s return in 2010:

“I don’t know if he’s going to play [this] year and I don’t know if he knows if he’s going to play [this] year,” Vikings coach Brad Childress said Thursday during an appearance on the team’s radio home, KFAN (1130-AM). “… I’ve said this and I really believe it even more right now. It would not surprise me either way.”

Let’s cut the crap, shall we? Favre is coming back. He knows it, Childress knows it, and the Vikings know it. Childress wouldn’t be so calm about the approaching season if he knew Tarvaris Jackson was going to be his starting quarterback. In fact, the Vikings wouldn’t have acquired Sage Rosengels from the Texans last year if they were completely sold on Jackson as the starter – I don’t care what “Chilly” says about Tarvaris’ development.

Although hey, none of this is surprising, is it? Childress could have come out and said that the Vikings are prepared to go into the season with Jeff George as their starter and it still wouldn’t be surprising. Favre does drama – and apparently so does Childress now too.

It’s infuriating, but at least I can take solace in the fact that grilled cheese won’t be on the menu today at lunch.

Brett Favre appeared on “Joe Buck Live” on Monday and spoke about his possible comeback, the health of his arm and meeting with the Vikings.

Here are the nuts and bolts of what Favre said in the interview:

“If it ever gets to the point where it feels like it did before it started hurting, then the biggest question mark is out of the way,” Favre said.

Favre said Vikings coach Brad Childress wanted him to attend Minnesota’s recent organized team activities, but he declined.

“I figured there would be a media frenzy if I was there,” he said. “And there would be a media frenzy if I couldn’t play, if we had to say three weeks later, ‘You know, his arm’s just not up to par. He can’t play.’

“So why not have just one media frenzy, and that be later on?”

Asked by Buck if he would play this season, Favre replied, “Um … ” After a pause, he said, “Maybe.”

“I know people are tired of it, really,” Favre said earlier of the drama that accompanies his annual waffling over retirement. “My intentions are not to — although it’s good for you — create controversy.”

“It makes a lot of sense because the pieces are in place,” Favre said.

He said he met with a Vikings trainer Sunday to go over some arm exercises as part of his rehab, but the team has not made plans to evaluate his readiness to play. Favre said his conversations with Vikings officials have been infrequent and limited.

“Nothing other than, ‘Are you interested?'” he said. “And vice versa.”

Favre didn’t really say anything new in the interview. We already knew he wants to play for the Vikings and the Vikings only, but can’t make a decision until he sees how his arm will react to the surgery. The Vikings want him to play, but are in a holding pattern because of his arm.

So now everyone waits until Favre tests out his arm. And while we wait, the media should have daily reports on which way Favre parts his hair, what kind of pillow he chooses to sleep on and whether or not he prefers grape or strawberry jelly.

Hey, did you hear the latest on Brett Favre? No?!

Well apparently his family booked hotel rooms for the same weekend that the Vikings are in Green Bay to play the Packers next season. So you know what that means right?!

Absolutely nothing. Or maybe it means he’s going to sign with the Vikings. Or maybe he’s going to return to the Packers. Or maybe his family is just outright f’ing with us and decided to book a bunch of hotel rooms for that weekend just for the sheer joy of watching writers everywhere scramble to their computers believing they have the mother of all stories, when in fact they have something about as useful as Jose Canseco without steroids. (And if that’s the case then – touche, Favre family.)

Either way – I don’t care.

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