Category: Humor (Page 76 of 86)

      Omen? Jaguars’ mascot catches on fire before game against Titans

      November 17, 2008 /

      Is it a bad omen when your mascot catches on fire before the biggest game of the season?

      From SPORTSbyBROOKS.com:

      Team introductions are a chance for the home team to get fired up. However, the ORLANDO SENTINEL says that the Jacksonville Jaguars took a different approach yesterday when coming out for their game against the Tennessee Titans, actually setting their mascot on fire. Apparently Jaxson de Ville got a little too close to the pyrotechnics as the team charged out of the locker room, causing his stuffed ears to go up in flames.

      Luckily, he was able to rush off the field and get put out before he did his full impersonation of Michael Jackson shooting a Pepsi commercial. (I guess that makes him the Jackson-Ville Jaguar. Get it?) But I think it’s safe to consider your mascot bursting into flames as a bad omen, and perhaps it was as the Jags blew a 14-3 halftime lead and fell to the Titans, 24-14.

      Mike Bianchi of the ORLANDO SENTINEL said after the game that the locker room “smelled of a dying team.” Usually, that’s only said about the Raiders, when the staff forgets to clean well enough to clear Al Davis’ “old man smell” out of the team offices. Clearly Jack Del Rio Death Watch is on.

      I know there’s a human being trapped in those suits, but I can’t help chuckling when I think about a mascot setting on fire. Blame it on Will Ferrell’s character in “Old School.”

      Humor, NFL

      Knicks fans discover striking palms together makes uplifting and appreciative noise

      November 14, 2008 /

      I love The Onion.

      NEW YORK—Following the Knicks’ surprising 4-2 start, fans’ instinctual boos have been interrupted by what many are referring to as “a strange, repeated bringing-together motion of the hands,” an act resulting in an uplifting sound that can be used to respond to successful plays by the team.

      “It seems to be really effective when a lot of people do it at the same time,” said fan Adam Blake, 32, whose face has recently begun to contort in such a way that his mouth curls upwards at the corners, often exposing the fronts of his teeth. “It’s a lot less natural for me than yelling at players and coaches, but unlike throwing garbage on the court, the security guards say you’re allowed to do it. I guess if I had to choose between the old way and this new hand-slapping thing, I’d pick hand-slapping. It seems to be making the players, and me, feel kind of—I don’t know—good.” Upon returning home, fans were shocked to learn that emotional connections could be made with friends and family by not making sarcastic comments about their weight and intelligence and instead wrapping their arms around each other and pressing their bodies close together.

      Click here for more sports content from The Onion.

      Humor, NBA

      Seven ways to turn around a NBA franchise

      November 14, 2008 /

      Kyle Slavin over at The Love of Sports outlines his ideas for turning around a NBA franchise.

      Finally, if a player stays on our team for six years, we will completely remodel their house. Eight years, we will pay for one of their kids’ college education. Ten years, and we will name a concourse at the airport after them, and erect a statue in the players’ locker room entranceway. I don’t care if you are a benchwarmer, there must be a legitimate incentive for you to stay on our team, and reverence if you do. Remember the Lakers and Celtics battling for ten years in the 80’s? Well, that won’t happen again without a huge decline in turnover. It will result in better basketball, and more wholesome basketball players. Besides, if Adonal Foyle got to walk past a giant bronze Adonal Foyle before each home game for the Warriors, I guarantee you he would have played better.

      I don’t know why, but the thought of an Adonal Foyle bronze statue just makes me laugh.

      One thing I’d add – every so often, have an “Adult Night.” NBA dance teams are basically glorified strippers, so why not let them strip? On Friday and/or Saturday night games, only adults can come to the game. The dance team would start off in their usual gear, but as the night wears on, they would change into skimpier and skimpier outfits. By the last “performance,” they’d be topless. I guarantee you, every “Adult Night” would sell out and the opposing team would be too distracted to play well. It would be a hit! (Though I don’t think David Stern would approve.)

      Humor, NBA

      New BANG! cartoon: Ifs and butts

      November 14, 2008 /

      We’ve all heard the story of Mike Singletary’s halftime mooning a couple of weeks ago, but the guys at Bang! Cartoon wonder if this will become a league-wide problem. Check out the ‘toon below but beware of Crennel in Cleveland!

      Head on over to Bang! to check out all of their NFL cartoons and podcasts!

      Humor, NFL, Video

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