Everyone wonder what really happened the night Plaxico Burress shot himself in a club? Well the guys at Bang! Cartoons have the lowdown, illustrated in their latest hilarious ‘toon. Apparently Burress had motivation to get hurt…
That jab at Shockey was great. Head on over to Bang! to check out all of their NFL cartoons and podcasts!
I’m watching the Florida/Alabama game and Tim Brando just popped on the screen to preview the halftime show. When he pitched it back to Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson, the following exchange occurred:
Verne: Tim, it’s great to have you guys with us, it really is. And I look forward to tonight when I know you’ll be the first to pull out your credit card.
Gary: (laughs) We’re going out, I assume.
Verne: This is no night for the squeamish.
What does this mean? Verne is 68, so you wouldn’t expect him to be out too late. But for some reason, I’m picturing an up-all-night Lundquist opening his hotel room door in nothing but an open bathrobe and some tighty whiteys, holding a loaded handgun while a couple of hookers are passed out on the bed. The room is littered with empty whiskey bottles and there are a few lines of cocaine next to a bottle of Viagra on the glass coffee table.
Or is Lundquist talking about eating a steak dinner before hitting the sack no later than 9 PM?
I wish I knew what he was up to tonight.
The Sports Guy had a few random thoughts this week. Here are some highlights:
When ABC launches a game-show pilot called “Country Singer, Famous Assassin or Kick Returner?” the final question will definitely be, “Who is Johnnie Lee Higgins?”
What would have happened at a 2007 Arkansas tailgate if a blitzed Razorbacks fan offered everyone $100 at 50-to-1 odds that Peyton Hillis would finish with more 2008 fantasy points than both Darren McFadden and Felix Jones? And why do I have a feeling Jerry Jones made his billions in a similar way?
Has there ever been a football player listed as “questionable” more often than Brian Westbrook? Does this extend to other parts of his life? Can anyone rely on him? Do his buddies make plans to see a movie with him knowing that he’s questionable to show up? Does he send back wedding invitations checking both the “Yes, I Will Attend” and “No, I Will Not Attend?” boxes? What would it be like if he hosted a radio show? All right, that’s it for today’s show, I’ll see you tomorrow, or I might not. Why aren’t we calling him Brian “Mr. Questionable” Westbrook?
Not to be a party pooper, but with “The Ageless” Fred Taylor’s career winding down, somebody needs to assume “ageless” status in 2009. I vote for Warrick Dunn because his spin move is like Seth Rogen’s dice-roll dance move in “Knocked Up” — it’s effective the first few times until you realize it’s all he has — only Rogen landed Katherine Heigl’s character and Dunn keeps getting first downs. So there you go.
Hey, is there any way for the Chiefs to hypnotize Larry Johnson into thinking every short-yardage situation is really a crowded bar filled with the boyfriends of women who just resisted his advances?
Note to every lousy cornerback: If your guy has four steps on you for a sure TD, only the QB underthrows him to the degree that the guy has to put on the brakes, stop and jump for the ball, giving you time to reach him and deflect the pass … this doesn’t mean you’re allowed to dance around afterward while waving the “incomplete” signal with your arms, or as I like to call it, “The Deltha O’Neal Shuffle.” Just put your head down and run back to the huddle in shame. OK? OK.
Funny stuff.
“I’ve been to China lots of times — never needed a passport.”
Another solid effort from the “Mayne Street” crew. I like the new edition of the executive.
Check out the other episodes here.
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