Kenny Mayne seeks advice from Bill Simmons. I guess this is funny. I don’t know, you tell me.
Category: Humor (Page 49 of 86)
FX has a reputation for broadcasting high quality content aimed at adults. While most of their shows are of the one-hour variety (i.e. “The Shield,” “Rescue Me,” “Sons of Anarchy,” “Nip/Tuck,” etc.), they also occasionally dip their toes in half-hour comedies like the brilliant “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.”
I’ve always wondered if a series based on fantasy football could survive, and I guess we’re about to find out, because FX debuts “The League” this Thursday. Check your local listings.
In Bill Simmons’ NBA preview, he lists the 33 most intriguing people of the 2009-10 season. Here are a couple of excerpts.
On the Blazers’ acquisition of Andre Miller…
21. Andre Miller
We knew Miller was a bad fit when the Blazers signed him. It just didn’t feel right. He’s a moody loner; they had great chemistry last season. He needs the ball in his hands; so does Brandon Roy. He likes freelancing; Nate McMillan is hands on. But Portland felt obligated to spend its extra cap money, and nobody else was pursuing Miller, so what transpired was the equivalent of two single wedding guests going through the motions on the dance floor.I could use someone, and you could use someone. Unfortunately, I hate bald guys and I have a tiny butt; you’re bald and you love bubble butts. We have no spark and are destined to fail. But crap, there’s nobody better. Screw it, would you like to come back to my room?
I get Portland’s thinking: It wanted to turn that cap space into an asset. And I get Miller’s thinking: He wanted to get paid and hoped things would work out. But now we’re here. Incredibly, Portland plans on bringing Miller off the bench. He’s already miserable. (And available, by the way. Make Kevin Pritchard an offer. Seriously, call him right now.) So what did we learn? Just because you have cap space doesn’t mean you HAVE to use it.
Reason #581 why I love The Onion…
WASHINGTON—Washington Redskins head coach Jim Zorn held a press conference Sunday to reassure fans that, despite an inability to effectively execute their offense, defense, or special teams, the Redskins were still somewhat comparable to a real football team. “It’s been a tough season so far, and even though we are 2-4, we still have players, uniforms, Motorola headsets—all the components that technically constitute an NFL team, sort of,” Zorn said while grimacing and making a “so-so” gesture with his hand.
Reason #229 why I love The Onion…
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—In an improbable display of competence and a basic execution of football fundamentals, the Oakland Raiders stunned the football world Sunday when running back Michael Bush miraculously rushed for three yards against the Giants and succeeded in converting a first down.
The Raiders, who fearlessly faced a third-and-one situation on their own 22-yard-line, somehow gained the 36 inches needed for an elusive first down, despite numerous obstacles that included a professional NFL defense, owner Al Davis’ incompetent personnel decisions, mediocre play-calling, and general ineptitude.
“I cannot believe what I just saw,” said CBS commentator Greg Gumbel, adding that he was amazed the Raiders advanced the ball beyond the line of scrimmage, let alone gained a full 10 yards. “The fact that they were out on the field for three consecutive plays without turning the ball over is incredible. But a first down? An actual first down from the Oakland Raiders? You…I mean—I just, I can’t…”
“I’m speechless,” Gumbel added.
Classic. Click here to read the rest.
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