Cubs starter Carlos Zambrano will be suspended six games after he bumped umpire Mark Carlson and then went on to throw a temper tantrum on the field and in the dugout in a game against the Pirates on Wednesday.

Zambrano’s agent, Barry Praver, said the penalty, which included a $3,000 fine, a source told ESPNChicago.com, will not be appealed. The suspension began Thursday night and barring rainouts Zambrano will be eligible to pitch next Thursday at Atlanta.

The Cubs ace threw a baseball into left field, slammed his glove against the dugout fence, and used a bat to smash a Gatorade dispenser in the Cubs’ dugout after he was ejected Wednesday with Chicago leading 2-1 in the seventh inning of a 5-2 victory Pittsburgh.

“I apologize for that. Like I said, I should have more control of myself in that situation,” Zambrano said after the game. “I just wanted to get out of that inning and win the ballgame. I didn’t say a bad word. I should have gone to the clubhouse and keep watching the game. I apologize for throwing the ball and the other things.”

Six games seems a little extreme, but I like the fact that Big Z won’t appeal. What for? It’s like when you get a speeding ticket on the highway; yeah it sucks, but you got caught, so take your punishment and move on.

My question is, if Zambrano got a six game suspension for bumping an umpire, then why didn’t the ump that “forcibly guided” Tigers’ outfielder Magglio Ordonez out of the batter’s box during a game against the Twins a couple weeks ago not get punished? Zambrano gets six games for slightly bumping an umpire but an umpire who puts his hands on a player gets to skate with just an apology? This certainly isn’t worth a full on debate, but isn’t that a little ridiculous? Hey, if umpires don’t want to be touched, then they shouldn’t be touching players either.

Joe Crede hit a dramatic game-winning grand slam for the Twins in the 13th inning to help Minnesota beat the Tigers 14-10 on Wednesday night.

But Crede’s slam took a back seat to an incident during the seventh inning when Detroit’s Magglio Ordonez argued a called third strike, then became angered when umpire Paul Schreiber put a hand on his shoulder to usher him out of the batters box.

The second angle is the most damning for Schreiber. It clearly looks like he tries to move Maggs out of the box. As the broadcasters pointed out, if umpires don’t want to be touched (players and coaches are immediately ejected if they touch an umpire), then they shouldn’t be allowed to touch players either.

Considering this isn’t a routine situation, I don’t know what would be the appropriate punishment in this case, but nevertheless Schreiber should be suspended. Was his push malicious? No, but again, if players are immediately tossed for laying even a pinky finger on an umpire, then the same rules should apply for when an ump touches a player.

Special thanks to my buddy Fumo for calling me about this incident…and then threatening to start his own sports blog if I didn’t post about it.