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Want a job with the Oakland Raiders? Apply here

Mike Lopresti of USA Today lays out a pretty humorous mock interview for anyone who wants to coach for the circus that is the Oakland Raiders:

Al Davis1. Why in heaven’s name would you want this job?

3. When you were a kid, did you ever dream of being in a circus?

5. Name three men in the NFL more important than Al Davis. Extra points if you can’t think of that many.

7. Are you prepared to make the tough decisions on the questions Mr. Davis gives you sole authority to answer? For instance, tie color. Very important. And when it comes to how you like your eggs, the buck stops at your desk.

8. Would you say the fact the Raiders have not won a Super Bowl in nearly 25 years is due to coaching error, league conspiracy or global warming?

9. Wouldn’t you agree that given the honor of working for the Oakland Raiders, getting paid isn’t really all that important?

10. Which golf course will you be playing on NFL draft day, so the Raiders can find you and let you know who you’ve drafted?

11. When you’re fired, would you prefer it be by e-mail or cellphone?

12. Were you ever in the jury pool for an Al Davis lawsuit?

13. If things go south, what names will you not mind being called on national television?

16. How quickly can you pack?

19. What will be your deadline each week for suggestions to be faxed from the owner’s box?

Thank you for your answers. We’ll be in contact soon. Just wait, baby.

No. 10 is pretty good.

Cubs fans vs. Rays fans – who has it worse?

The State brings up an interesting argument: Which baseball fans have had it worse – Cubs or Rays? The site goes into great detail and suggests that Tampa fans have had it worse.

Chicago Cubs FansEnough is enough: The poor, beleaguered Rays fan deserves a defense…Cheering for the Cubs is like carrying on with a rotten tooth; cheering for the Rays has, until this year, been like being stabbed in the face repeatedly with a butter knife.

Consider the plight of the Tampa Bay baseball fan. For pretty much the entire 20th century, he didn’t even have a team. If you don’t count that as suffering, consider that in the 1980s and 1990s, his city was regularly used as a means to extort other baseball-having cities into building new stadiums—the Twins, White Sox, Rangers, Mariners, and Giants all teased Floridian fans with threats to move to Tampa/St. Petersburg, but none of those deals came to pass. When Tampa did finally get a team in 1998, they instantly became the worst franchise in baseball—and perhaps in all of American pro sports.

Since 1998, the Cubs fan has watched his team play in October four times; the Rays fan has watched his lose 90 games 10 times. While the Cubs fan has taken in games at Wrigley Field, the finest park in the major leagues, the Rays fan has trudged into Tropicana Field, the only park in baseball whose ground rules distinguish between four possible calls that can be made on balls that strike one of several catwalks suspended over the field…Cubs right fielder Sammy Sosa hit 129 home runs in 1998 and 1999; former Rays right fielder Aubrey Huff is the team’s career leader with 128. On a given game night there are probably 8,000 Cubs fans drinking on Clark Street; the Rays could muster only 8,000 fans to a recent rally celebrating their epic ascent to the postseason.

I guess the question really becomes, is it a great suffering to have your team make the postseason but never win anything? Or never make the postseason at all? Personally, I would much rather have my team make the postseason every couple of years than to know they have no hope and then proceed to watch them lose 90 games. Although I’m never going to be the one to tell a Cubs fan they haven’t suffered.

Brennan misses the point about baseball postseason

Christine Brennan of USA Today writes that the format for the baseball playoffs needs to be redone.

Angels-Red SoxTo pique fan interest, lure sponsors and maximize TV ratings, MLB has, over time, adopted a three-tiered playoff system — four divisional series leading to two championship series to, finally, the World Series — which by definition diminishes the meaning of the regular season.

Talk about your mixed messages. On the one hand, the game is at its pastoral best when it is played out over time, when it meanders through the summer like a lazy river, when patience is rewarded, when one game by itself may mean so little.

Then, once we hit October, baseball becomes manic. The marathon turns into a sprint, especially in the division series, which still are the quirkiest of arrangements, just a quick, best-of-five-games test.
Of course, every team knows what the rules are. None of this is new to them. And what infuriates purists delights the masses. When teams like the Los Angeles Dodgers, who were only six games above .500 and had the 15th-best record during the regular season, are potentially just four games away from the World Series, that’s the kind of story that brings people running to their TV sets.

But let’s examine that sentence again. A team with the 15th-best record in baseball is four games away from the World Series. And the teams with the two best records in the game are at least 169 games from the World Series — next year’s World Series.

Like all other big U.S. professional sports, baseball elongates its season not necessarily to crown the year’s best team, but to meet and perhaps exceed all financial, marketing and entertainment goals.
But not every last bit of regular-season integrity need be lost. It’s time for MLB to go back to two divisions in each league, with the top two teams in each division making the playoffs. In other words, no more 15th-best teams allowed.

Brennan makes a great point that in the end, baseball wants to market itself in the best way possibly to make more money. But MLB is a business, so of course it wants to make more money and will continue to think of ways to do so.

Where she misses the point is that it’s not the league’s fault that every infielder for the Cubs made an error in the same game against the Dodgers, or that the Red Sox continue to own the Angels in the postseason. And only four teams in the postseason? How is this fun for fans? Without a salary cap, more times than not the teams that spend the most will go to the playoffs. (And before anyone says anything, I know that the Rockies and Rays made the playoffs the last two years with small pay rolls. But look at the Rockies – they couldn’t sustain their World Series momentum this year because they don’t spend enough to compete year in and year out.)

The postseason format is fine. It’s getting a cap in place that should be the league’s top priority. But that will never happen.

Florio: Reggie Bush will never be great

Mike Florio of SportingNews.com suggests that Saints’ RB Reggie Bush will never be a great NFL player.

Reggie BushBut with two punt returns for touchdowns Monday night, folks now assume Bush, after two-plus years of average-to-mildly-above-average play, has arrived.

Um, not quite.

Bush had a great game. It’s still only one game. Less than four years ago, Eddie Drummond returned two punts for touchdowns on the same day and is now out of the league. Jermaine Lewis did it for the Ravens not once but twice, and he won’t ever get into Canton without paying admission.

Apart from those punt returns Monday night, Bush was ordinary. He ran the ball 12 times for 29 yards.
For the season, Bush is averaging 3.3 yards per carry. For his career, he is at 3.6 yards per carry. Monday night’s showing of less than 2.5 yards per attempt only brought down those numbers.
Bush also caught seven passes for 64 yards Monday. Solid, not spectacular.

I’m not saying Bush isn’t a solid player. I am saying Bush has a ceiling on his skill level, and that his performance on Monday night did nothing to shatter it.

He’s good, not great. He’s definitely not the guy everyone thought he would be.

Reggie Bush isn’t going to live up to the hype because the hype was too much to begin with. And that’s not Bush’s fault. Just like when Michael Vick came out of VA Tech, everyone had these grandioso ideas that just because the guy was a superb athlete, meant he was going to revolutionize the quarterback position. And then when he didn’t, writers like Florio jumped all over him and said he’ll never live up to the hype. Gee, you think? Joe Montana couldn’t live up to the hype that’s bestowed upon some athletes these days.

It’s the same deal with Bush. People who actually took the time to watch him in college knew that he was an amazing athlete, but that LenDale White got the bulk of the carries in between the tackles. Bush wasn’t all of a sudden going to be an every down back in the NFL and that’s why the Saints have wisely hung on to Deuce McAllister over the years. So will Bush ever be a great NFL player? Probably not, but he’s still the same player that lit it up at USC when you stop and think about it, only now the stage is a hell of a lot bigger and he’s not getting the same pub. It’s because of the media’s hype-machine that people even debate whether or not he’ll ever be a “great” player.

Fantasy Football Podcast #6 (10/9/08)

Listen in as Anthony Stalter and I discuss the Giants’ success, Denver’s injuries, the Cowboys/Cardinals game, Jon Kitna’s possible successor, the rise of the “Beard,” and why Anthony hates Matt Prater.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

(The opening and closing music is “The Bucket” by Kings of Leon, which has one of the best opening guitar sequences of the decade. Seriously.)

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