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Bill Simmons on the KG news

Predictably, Simmons was crushed to learn that Kevin Garnett will be unable to play early on in the playoffs. His editor asked him for an immediate reaction.

The best thing about being a sports fan on the West Coast: Every game comes on three hours earlier. I watched a 12-inning Boston-Oakland game Tuesday night that ended at the totally reasonable time of 11:29 p.m. Had I stayed up for that one on the East Coast, I would have been dead for work the next day, Oh, wait, I don’t have a real job. Bad example. But you get the idea.

The worst thing about being a sports fan on the West Coast: Things happen while you’re sleeping. I never know what to expect upon first glance at my Blackberry. Today, I woke up at 7:10 in the morning, trekked downstairs, let my dog outside, ground some coffee beans, filled the filter, added the water, got the brewing process going, and then, even as I was still wiping the crust from my eyes, these three e-mails were atop my inbox…

It’s interesting to read his stuff on a shortened timeline. (He says he had only 150 minutes to write the piece.) Is it as funny or as good as his usual columns? You be the judge.

Here’s how the NBA Playoffs are going to go…

Sure, with its seven-game format, the NBA Playoffs aren’t quite as consistently dramatic as March Madness, but there are a number of compelling storylines as we head into this year’s postseason. Will KG return in time to help the Celtics try to repeat? Will LeBron and the Cavs ride home court advantage to the Finals? Can Chris Paul and the Hornets put a less-than-stellar regular season behind them and make a run? Can Kobe finally win a title without Shaq?

The Playoffs start on Saturday, and looking at the matchups, I think I have a pretty good idea how things will play out. Granted, I’m likely to make a few mistakes along the way, but that’s part of the fun, right?

EASTERN CONFERENCE FIRST ROUND

#1 Cavaliers vs. #8 Pistons
Let’s see – the Pistons limped into the playoffs, going 8-9 in March and 3-5 in April. Earlier in the season, they traded away arguably their best player (Chauncey Billups) and the guy they got in return (Allen Iverson) is (rumored to be) spending his time getting banned from the local casinos. If Detroit had held onto Billups, maybe they’d be able to make this a series, but without him, they’re floundering. I hope Joe Dumars has fun with that cap space!

#4 Hawks vs. #5 Heat
Here’s a first round battle between two teams that don’t have a legitimate chance of making the Finals. If the NBA were to adopt a single-elimination format (or even three-game series across the board), maybe….maybe…one of these teams could get hot and make a run. As it stands, the winner will have the right to face a determined Cavs team in the second round. Not that it matters, but I’m going with the Hawks here. They have home court advantage, have won three of four against the Heat this season and are simply a better team. Hats off to Dwyane Wade for willing the Heat this far, but I don’t think we’re going to see a LeBron/D-Wade matchup in the second round. (Not unless Jermaine O’Neal discovers the Fountain of Youth by this weekend.)

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Why Mark Sanchez will be a Cleveland Brown

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Have you heard the latest draft rumors on Mark Sanchez? Apparently only the Lions, Rams, Seahawks, Browns, Jaguars, 49ers, Jets, Redskins and Broncos are either in love, smitten or downright want to get in bed with the USC quarterback.

Is that all?

It seems every day rumors of a new team being interested in Sanchez emerge and while it’s easy to get caught up in all the pre-draft speculation, it would obviously be wise not to believe everything you hear. That said, with the draft quickly approaching, I’ve thoroughly convinced myself that Mark Sanchez will in fact be a Cleveland Brown.

Where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire and there’s a ton of smoke coming out of Cleveland that new head coach Eric Mangini isn’t a big Brady Quinn fan. Along with daily Sanchez-is-going-here speculation, there have been just as many Quinn-will-be-traded-here rumors. Maybe Mangini and new GM George Kokinis are just throwing up smokescreens to keep other teams guessing at what their draft day plans are. Or maybe (and this seems more logical by the day) Mangini and Kokinis want to blow up the entire roster and start over and that’s why Kellen Winslow was traded to the Bucs, Braylon Edwards will soon be dealt to the Giants and Quinn will be jettisoned to parts unknown.

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Doc Rivers on Garnett: “There is no way he can play.”

The Boston Celtics repeat hopes took a hit today as head coach Doc Rivers stated that Kevin Garnett is not ready to play, and insinuated that his star forward may not be ready for the entire playoffs.

“I don’t see it. I just don’t,” Rivers said. “I’ve flipped completely, because I was watching him move (before) and he looked great. But after today, there’s no way he can play.”

“The guy’s a warrior and you can see him trying to mask it, but after 20 minutes of running, there’s just no way,” Rivers said.

This morning, Rivers raised the serious possibility that the layoff would extend through the playoffs.

“It may send a message to our guys that there’s nobody you’re waiting for,” Rivers said in reference to his team’s reaction. “And it can help us in that way. That’s the only way it can help us.”

With a healthy Garnett, the Celtics are title contenders. Without him, they’re just a good NBA team. This is obviously great news for the Cavs, Magic and even the Bulls, who now have a shot at pulling off an upset of the #2-seed in the East.

John Madden retiring from broadcasting

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NBC made an announcement this morning that long-time NFL color commenter John Madden has decided to retire. Dick Ebersol also made an announcement of Madden’s retirement, but it’s unclear at this point whether or not this is effective immediately or if John will be in the broadcast booth through the 2009 season.

Details to follow as they’re released.

We’ve all laughed at the MadTV skits, the Frank Caliendo’s impersonations and the overall hilarity that comes with listening to a Madden broadcast. And if you’ve watched football long enough, there’s no doubt you’ve said to yourself many times throughout the course of a season, “What the hell is Madden talking about?”

But one thing is sure: John Madden has always known football. He might go off on long tangents about what people are eating in the stands or wear out his commenting pen trying to describe a play. But if you get through all of that, he knows the game and even in these latter years where you think he’s off his rocker, he was still always through out a great nugget or two that made you say, “You know what? Madden is right.”

Whether you like him or not, John Madden is an icon and a broadcast legend. Personally, I hope Madden gives us one more year in the booth before hanging it up.

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