Category: Humor (Page 58 of 86)

Fan catches Chris Coghlan’s first home run. Fan receives arm, demands leg.

May 17, 2009 / Kevin Kinsella

SPORTSbyBROOKS has a great piece up about Nick Yohanek and his adventures with the Florida Marlins’ Chris Coghlan. Apparently, there’s a great start-up business here: Selling home run balls back to the guys who hit them out. After Coghlan hit his first in the majors, he was approached by Yohanek (who had caught the ball) after the game. Upon giving the fan a signed game bat and photo-op, Coghlan was surprised to learn that that just wouldn’t be enough to get Yohanek to fork over his ball (the identity of the preceding pronoun is anybody’s guess). Let’s hear from Yohanek and Brooks now:

Yohanek, not surprisingly, has a different view of things. We’re a little more suspicious of his version of the facts, mainly because he’s got far more reason to lie and even in his quotes, he comes off as an unholy prick:
“I explained that ballhawking is my hobby and that what I was asking in return was fair,” Yohanek said Thursday, in an e-mail to the Associated Press. “I told him I make $50,000 a year working in law enforcement and that I didn’t feel like I was asking for too much. He responded, ‘Good for you.’ Real classy. Way to respect law enforcement. Way to respect a fan.”
Yes, exactly. Clearly his tone was indicative of a disrespect for law enforcement and fans, and in no way affected by annoyance when a grown man makes demands for what should be a treasured keepsake. Real classy, Yohanek.

I can’t help but agree with my esteemed colleague on this one. While it is true that modern athletes make an exorbitant amount of money, it’s simply a matter of capitalism: if someone’s willing to pay that amount, then make them pay it, right? Supply and demand and such…Wait a sec, I may have just agreed with Yohanek here.

Bullz-Eye Sports Channel, Fantasy Baseball, General Sports, Humor, MLB, Rumors & Gossip

Ball-Hawking baseball Chris Coghlan Fans Florida Marlins Home Run Nick Yohanek

Bill Simmons actually thinks he should get a shot as an NBA general manager

May 13, 2009 / John Paulsen

Last year, when the Bucks had a GM opening, Bill Simmons started a campaign to fill the position. Fortunately, the Bucks hired John Hammond.

Fast forward a year, and Simmons is campaigning for the open Minnesota GM job, punctuated by this beauty in his so-called “epic” conversation with author Malcom Gladwell (the guy who thinks all underdogs should utilize the full-court press).

NBA teams rarely, if ever, think outside the box, and that’s one of at least 50 reasons why I could succeed as a GM.

This started out as a semi-joke, but I think over the course of the last year, Simmons’ ego, along with a few thousand emails of support from his readers, have convinced himself that he’s actually qualified to run an NBA franchise.

Look around the league and you’ll find that NBA general managers are usually former players, had front-office experience prior to getting the keys to a franchise, have advanced degrees in business and have an deep understanding of the salary cap and of how the fiscal side of the NBA works. Bill’s greatest strength is his ability to compare an athlete to a character to some random movie from the ’80s. What’s he going to do — sit Kevin Love down and tell him that his game reminds him of Chubby from “Teen Wolf”? How does this get the T-Wolves to the playoffs?

To me, the big question is whether or not Simmons keeps this up. Is he going to campaign for every open general manager position until he gets one (or more likely, dies of old age)? Or is there a certain point when all this I-can-run-an-NBA-team talk becomes so sad that he eventually just gives it up?

There’s no doubt about it — Simmons is an entertaining sportswriter, maybe the best in the stream-of-consciousness/pop-culture business. But he needs a reality check, and there’s no way to give it to him.

Humor, NBA, Rumors & Gossip

Bill Simmons correcting Bill Simmons Minnesota Timberwolves The Sports Guy

Adam Carolla throws out first pitch at Dodgers game…and the second, and the third…

May 12, 2009 / Anthony Stalter

It never ceases to amaze me how bad celebrities are throwing out the first pitch at baseball games.

Case in point, Adam Carolla at a recent Dodgers game:

When told of Carolla’s performance during the first pitch ceremonies, Dodgers’ manager Joe Torre shrugged and said, “It couldn’t have been any worse than Juan Pierre’s throws home.”

Humor, MLB, Video

Adam Carolla Adam Carolla first pitch Joe Torre Juan Pierre

The biggest golf announcer blunders

May 12, 2009 / John Paulsen

On the heels of David Feherty’s insulting comments about our troops and two of our political leaders, Devil Ball Golf lists several of the biggest blunders made by golf announcers over the years.

Here’s a sampling:

Andrew Magee: At the FBR Open in February of this year, Andrew Magee remarked on-air that he saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that read, “I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating a Brownie.” Was it a pedophile joke? A drug one? Could go either way, but Magee got a reprimand from the Golf Channel.

Feherty’s comments are dangerous because they incited violence against Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, and put those two congressional leaders in the same category as Osama Bin Laden. But the most offensive thing was the implication that the average soldier would like to kill two fellow Americans. He meant it as a joke, but only the hardcore Pelosi and Reid haters would find any humor in it, and many of them would be insulted by Feherty’s use of our military personnel in his quip. It was just a bad, bad decision by Feherty.

Golf, Humor

David Feherty David Feherty Bin Laden joke David Feherty D Magazine joke David Feherty joke David Feherty Reid Pelosi Bin Laden joke