I get to report on athletes breaking the law and making poor life decisions for the first time today. In order to sanctify this inaugural post let me chant the greats for a sec: Please inspire my words to come ye great muses Pete Rose, Michael Vick, Mike Tyson. Oh, and there are so many more I could add, feel free to do so in the comments. Something tells me it’d be a good way to let off some steam.
– Right. So whatta we got today? Well, YAHOO! SPORTS has an article up about the recent arrest of two New Orleans Saints players, wide receiver Biren Ealy and tight end Kolomona Kapanui:
Two women, who weren’t identified, were riding in a vehicle when they reportedly saw Ealy and Kapanui urinating in the parking lot of an apartment complex around 12:42 a.m. Sunday, authorities said.
One of the women told Ealy to stop. Authorities said Ealy turned around while exposing himself and began making lewd comments. Moments later, Kapanui allegedly exposed himself to the driver of the vehicle and made lewd comments, the sheriff’s office said.
What? Oh man, I thought there’d be something a bit more severe than that coming. What gives here? Alright, I guess this has “intern” written all over it. So we got two professional football players peeing in public, alright I admit that’d get you a ticket. But at the same time, come on…I’m not alone in this am I? How many times have you peed in an isolated public area after a night of drinking? I see 3 guys doing that in downtown LA on my way to return books. I apologize if I’m thoroughly nonplussed by this.
I suppose the real crime here, and the thing that makes this worse than writing your name in the snow, is the behavior of Ealy and Kapanui after they got busted. I don’t see the need for these two guys to get so sassy with the two people who were bothered by their illegal activities.
Props to those ladies by the way. If I saw two drunk guys (who were both 6’3” and over 200 lbs) peeing in a dark parking lot late at night, I don’t think a confrontation would be my first instinct.
Do I really need to get serious about this news though? If I fail to voice some personal rebuke of their behavior do I get in trouble too? I just don’t think it’d make any difference. There’s always gonna be morons out there that can’t behave beyond the level of a school bus full of kindergarteners (and no, that hasn’t happened to me while I was waiting for the light to change), I can’t expect every person who can play a sport to be a model citizen. But that’s certainly no excuse for the athletes who refuse to be one.
In conclusion, let me just say this: In terms of athletes breaking the law, this incident gets filed under toilet humor and depressingly over-common. Though I can’t believe how hard I’d be laughing at the whole situation were I an anonymous passer-by.
