Tiger Woods won the 2009 Buick Open over the weekend, but the bigger news might be how he (or maybe it was his caddy?) farted on the 18th green and then broke into laughter.
This seems incredibly fake, but I’ve been assured that this was the same shot that aired live on CBS. If so, that’s rip-roaring good fun and just proves that even the greatest golfer in the world gets a little backed up from time to time after too much Chipotle hot sauce.
In Part 2 of Bill Simmons’ “Almost Famous”-is-the-greatest-movie-of-the-decade spiel, he continues to take quotes from the movie and apply them to the 2009 NBA offseason. Here’s one about the Pistons…
47. Please don’t give him any more acid. Thank you.
To Joe Dumars. In the span of 14 months, he hired the wrong coach (Michael Curry), overpaid the wrong bench guys (Kwame Brown and Amir Johnson), traded the wrong star too early (Billups, who would have netted more than just an expiring cap figure near the deadline), extended the wrong star too early (Rip Hamilton), overrated the wrong young guy (Rodney Stuckey, who might not even be a point guard), threw away the wrong season (2008-09, when the East was more wide open than we thought), then made it up to Pistons fans by saying, “I just spent $94 million on two guys who will never make an All-Star team!” Shouldn’t you be worried when your top five guys (Ben Gordon, Charlie Villanueva, Hamilton, Stuckey and Prince) are all perimeter guys who don’t rebound, play inside or make other guys better?
I too think that the Pistons overpaid for Gordon and Villanueva, who are certainly good offensive players, but really seem to struggle on the other end of the court. Dumars had the rep for being one of the savviest general managers in the league, but with these signings all the Pistons’ cap space is gone and they don’t have an inside presence.
The funny thing is that Dumars was pretty much bidding against himself for Gordon’s services (the Bulls didn’t even bother to make an offer) and the best Villanueva could have hoped for was a mid-level deal (from Cleveland?). This is one of the more interesting rebuilding projects going.
Bill Simmons is convinced that “Almost Famous” is the quintessential movie of the aughts, so much so that he decided to pull quotes from the movie and apply them to the 2009 NBA offseason. Here’s an example.
3. Some of the stuff that happens is good for a few people to know about, as opposed to, say … a million people.
To Artest. Here’s a classic case of someone hoodwinking the American public with a 10-year pattern of bizarre behavior that eventually immunized them to all future crazy Ron Artest stories and anecdotes, such as the fact that he’s wearing No. 37 to honor Michael Jackson because it’s the same number of weeks that “Thriller” led the charts (um, what?), or his recent revelation that he had been pining to play for the Lakers for two solid years. Artest told reporters that he wandered into the Lakers’ locker room to express that desire to a showering Kobe Bryant — right after L.A.’s bitter Game 6 thrashing in Boston in the 2008 Finals, no less — adding, “Yeah, I walked in the shower. I’m not a homosexual or nothing like that, but Kobe had no clothes on.”
These anecdotes just bounce off people now. Artest is a benevolent crazy. Or so we think. Being around this nuttiness every day is a little different from merely hearing about the nuttiness in secondhand anecdotes. I know for a fact he routinely broke plays on offense and is still a handful behind the scenes, and the Rockets buried every 2008-09 story that would have made this patently clear. For instance, Artest routinely walked around in his underwear in public places: the Rockets’ team bus, hotels, you name it. People around the team barely flinched after a while. Before Game 7 of the Lakers series — only the biggest game of the entire season — they finally flinched.
Here’s what happened: Artest missed the first two team buses (the ones for players, coaches and team personnel) from Houston’s hotel to the Staples Center and barely made the third and final bus, which was reserved for business staff, sponsors and friends of the team. These stunned people watched Artest sprint to the bus right before it left, jump on and take one of the remaining seats … yes, wearing only his underwear. Owner Leslie Alexander happened to be sitting on the bus and witnessed the whole thing. And you wonder why the Houston Rockets didn’t make any effort whatsoever to bring back Artest.
While I believe Artest is an upgrade over Trevor Ariza for the next 2-3 years, he has to stay relatively sane. While Artest walking around in public in his underwear is certainly strange, Simmons is right — it’s not surprising. We’re immune to these types of stories. Ron Artest is crazy. But on the court, he’s pretty much kept it together for the last few years and he can help the Lakers…if he keeps it together. Did I mention that he has to keep it together?
He has to keep it together.
But back to “Almost Famous.” I too loved this movie, and after reading Simmons’ praise for the director’s cut, I’m going to try to catch it real soon. But, to me, the film represents the only time that Kate Hudson starred in anything good. Check out this list of her starring credits from IMDB.com…
Nike (and LeBron?) thought that they had confiscated all the footage of Jordan Crawford’s dunk on King James, but TMZ has obtained a copy and will post the video on their website at 6:45 PM ET. They’ll also show it on TMZ TV tonight.
Ha! Karma!
Update: TMZ posted the video early. It’s worth a look.
Update #2: Ebaumnation.com has a much clearer video of the dunk from a different angle. Maybe this is why TMZ released their version early.
Will Brett Favre play for the Vikings in 2009 or will he stay retired? In their latest ‘toon, Bang! Cartoons suggests (via Brett’s agent) that Favre take an, uh, unconventional route to becoming a legend.
If you liked that cartoon, click here to check out more Bang! Cartoons.
© 2026 The Scores Report – The National Sports Blog
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑