Cavs offer golden-voiced homeless man a job

Via Image CPR:

Ted Williams became an Internet sensation after the Columbus Dispatch posted a video of him online. It took off. Millions of people watched it. His story is everywhere and job offers are rolling in. He was interviewed on The Early Show on CBS Wednesday morning.

During another interview on Columbus radio station 97.9, a spokeswoman for the Cavs called in and offered Williams full-time voiceover work with the team and Quicken Loans. The team also offered to pay the mortgage on a home.

Williams is currently weighing his options. Here’s the aforementioned video.

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Lab used Ted Williams’ head for batting practice

The New York Daily News is reporting that workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams by dismantling it from his body and then using it for batting practice.

Here are some of the bizarre details:

In “Frozen,” Larry Johnson, a former exec at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz., graphically describes how The Splendid Splinter” was beheaded, his head frozen and repeatedly abused.

The book, out Tuesday from Vanguard Press, tells how Williams’ corpse became “Alcorian A-1949” at the facility, where bodies are kept suspended in liquid nitrogen in case future generations learn how to revive them.

Johnson writes that in July 2002, shortly after the Red Sox slugger died at age 83, technicians with no medical certification gleefully photographed and used crude equipment to decapitate the majors’ last .400 hitter.

Williams’ severed head was then frozen, and even used for batting practice by a technician trying to dislodge it from a tuna fish can.
The chief operating officer of Alcor for eight months before becoming a whistleblower in 2003, Johnson wrote his book while in hiding, fearful for his life.

Johnson writes that holes were drilled in Williams’ severed head for the insertion of microphones, then frozen in liquid nitrogen while Alcor employees recorded the sounds of Williams’ brain cracking 16 times as temperatures dropped to -321 degrees Fahrenheit.

Johnson writes that the head was balanced on an empty can of Bumble Bee tuna to keep it from sticking to the bottom of its case.
Johnson describes watching as another Alcor employee removed Williams’ head from the freezer with a stick, and tried to dislodge the tuna can by swinging at it with a monkey wrench.

The technician, no .406 hitter like the baseball legend, missed the can with several swings of the wrench and smacked Williams’ head directly, spraying “tiny pieces of frozen head” around the room.

Johnson accuses the company of joking morbidly about mailing Williams’ thawing remains back to his family if his son didn’t pay his outstanding debt to the company.

I don’t even know where to begin with this. How can somebody be so sick, twisted and inhumane? Forget for a second that this was one of the greatest baseball players of all time – the actions of these people are just downright sick and creepy.

This is something straight out of a freaking Quentin Tarantino movie.

Baseball’s Most Controversial MVP Winners

In the wake of Cardinals’ first basemen Albert Pujols winning the NL MVP Award despite his team finishing fourth in the NL Central, has ranked baseball’s most controversial MVP winners of all-time.

Dennis Eckersley#3 Dennis Eckersley, 1992, AL MVP
Eckersley, the prototype one-inning closer, pitched 80 innings on the year. Frank Thomas, with a .978 OPS, played 1424 innings for the White Sox that season. Did Eckersley contribute more to his team in those 80 innings than Thomas did in nearly 18 times as many? Or Kirby Puckett, league leader in hits and total bases and a Gold Glove centerfielder? Or teammate Mark McGwire, who had 42 homers and 104 RBIs with an OPS of .970 and won a Gold Glove as well? Closers are valuable – just ask Mets fans – but they’re disproportionately rewarded for how little they actually work.

#1 Joe DiMaggio, 1947 AL MVP
While DiMaggio’s victory over Ted Williams in 1941 is defensible, this one is not.

How do you win the league Triple Crown without also being the MVP? Were DiMaggio’s intangible contributions so much greater than Ted’s superior performance in batting, slugging, on-base, hits, doubles, home runs, runs, and RBIs?

Williams finished one single point behind DiMaggio in the voting, and one sportswriter refused even to list Williams on his ten-man ballot (though it was not a Boston sportswriter, as Williams charged in his autobiography My Turn At Bat; the man Williams named did not vote that year). Stranger still, Williams only received three first-place votes (worth 14 points each) out of twenty-four, while DiMaggio received eight, no doubt reflecting New York’s pennant-winning season and Boston’s lackluster one. Strangest of all are the two first-place votes cast for Philadelphia Athletics shortstop Eddie Joost, a good glove man who batted .206 for the season.

Boston fans probably believe that Hank Steinbrenner was in on the 1947 AL MVP scandal considering they think he runs hell itself.

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