JoeSportsFan.com paid a hilarious tribute to the top seven sports movie fat kids of all-time.
2. Ham, The Sandlot
He’s one of the greatest trash-talkers in sports movie history, even if he was doing so against fellow ten-year olds. He also became the first person in baseball history to hit a home run, the one against the rich club team, that actually traveled backwards off the bat. If you haven’t seen Sandlot recently or in the neighborhood of 200 times, I apologize for such an obscure reference. But it’s true.
If you don’t like the “Great Hambino,” you don’t like America.
By the way, while searching for Ham Porter YouTube clips, I stumbled upon this video, which is freaking outstanding. Anyone who has seen the movie “300” will appreciate it.
WAG RANKINGS compiled a ranking of the hottest wives and girlfriends from various sports movies.
#4. Carley Bobby Actress: Leslie Bibb Movie: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Love Interest: Ricky Bobby, played by Will Ferrell Quote: “If we wanted two wussies, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman!”
#5. Tenley Parrish Actress: Kelly Preston (actually it was Jessica Biel) Movie: Summer Catch Love Interest: Ryan Dunne, played by Freddie Prinze Jr. Quote: “Let yourself be great.” Seriously. This movie sucked. That’s the best there is.
#6. Darcy Sears Actress: Ali Larter Movie: Varsity Blues Love Interest: Jonathan ‘Mox’ Moxon, played by James Van Der Beek Quote: “Baby I got so excited thinking about next year and Florida state and the future, I think I need to be your wide receiver.”
#8. Adele Invergorder Actress: Charlize Theron Movie: The Legend of Bagger Vance Love Interest: Rannulph Juhu, played by Matt Damon Quote: “And now I’m supposed to run into your arms and melt like butter on a hot muffin?”
Solid list, although there were some swings and misses. I’m not a big fan of Renee Zellweger, but love the young Halle Berry from The Program. And hey, any site that takes time to rank women from sports movies deserves some mention.
Synopsis from official website: From the producers of Bowling For Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11 comes a new film that unflinchingly explores our win-at-all-cost culture through the lens of a personal journey. Blending comedy and pathos, Bigger, Stronger, Faster* is a collision of pop culture, animated sequences and first-person narrative, with a diverse cast including US Congressmen, professional athletes, medical experts and everyday gym rats.
At its heart, this is the story of director Christopher Bell and his two brothers, who grew up idolizing muscular giants like Hulk Hogan, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and who went on to become members of the steroid-subculture in an effort to realize their American dream. When you discover that your heroes have all broken the rules, do you follow the rules, or do you follow your heroes?
Click here for a review and disccusion of “Bigger, Stronger, Faster*.” Also, be sure to check out the interview I did with Chris Bell, the director of “Bigger, Stronger, Faster*.”
Rumors and Rants ranked the top 10 announcers in sports movies. No surprise which announcer took the top spot.
1. Harry Doyle (Major League) What more can be said of Harry Doyle? He’s easily the greatest sports movie broadcaster of all-time. The gap between his performance and any other is so wide that it’s almost not fair to include him on this list. Bob Uecker’s performance as the ultimate homer-announcer is simply fantastic. He’s off the cuff calls and condescending attitude towards his own team are perfect. He even drags his dead weight color guy Monty through the movie, which is both hilarious and true to life. Then when you throw in the insults he hurls at his Indians and their opponents, it makes for one of the best performances in the history of sports movies.
Memorable lines: “In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven’t, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.”
Harry Doyle: “That’s all we got, one goddamn hit?” Assistant: “You can’t say goddamn on the air.” Harry Doyle: “Don’t worry, nobody is listening.”
“The post-game show is brought to you by … (searches through his papers) … Christ, I can’t find it. To hell with it.”
“Remember fans, Tuesday night is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.”
(Vaughn throws a pitch to the backstop) “Juuust a bit outside, tried the corner and missed. (Vaughn throws another wild pitch) Ball four. (Vaughn throws another wild pitch) Ball eight. (Vaughn throws another wild pitch) Low and he walks the bases loaded on 12 straight pitches. How can these guys lay off pitches that close?”
“Haywood swings and hits one towards South America. Hayes is gonna need a rocket up his ass to catch this one…”
Harry Doyle is announcing, folks.
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13. Major League (1989) – (13a) – Willie: “Willie Mays Hayes here. I hit like Mayes, and I run like Hayes.” – Coach: “You may run like Hayes, but you hit like shit.” – (13b) – “Juuuuust a bit outside.” – (13c) – “Up your butt, Jobu.”
6. Bull Durham (1988) – (6a) “I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” – (6b) – “Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some groundballs. It’s more democratic.”
1. Caddyshack (1980) – (1a) – “I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ‘em you’re Jewish, OK? All right.” – (1b) – “You’ll get nothing and like it.” – (1c) – “This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ahhh, Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. Here, I’ve got pounds of this.” – (1d) – “This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta nowhere, a former greenskeeper, now – about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mira….. It’s in the hole!”
Not that I have a problem with the lines they chose, but they went a little too mainstream in my opinion. For example, these lines in Major League were funnier to me than the ones they chose:
Harris: “You trying to tell me Jesus Christ can’t hit a curve ball?”
Lou Brown: “Nice catch Hayes – don’t ever fucking do it again.”
Taylor: “Who’s that guy she’s with?” Vaughn: “You want me to drag him outta here – kick the shit out of him?”
