Tag: Bill Simmons (Page 7 of 16)

      Simmons: Tiger Woods is the biggest sports story of the decade

      December 11, 2009 /

      In Bill Simmons’ latest column, he argues that Tiger’s indiscretions and subsequent accident is the biggest story of the last ten years. Here’s why:

      I’m calling it the “Tiger Zoo” instead of “TigerGate,” only because we have to break the habit of slapping “gate” after everything. But the Tiger Zoo nailed every gotta-have-it component for a big-time story with legs. First, it involved one of the most famous living athletes. Second, it started definitively with a specific incident — and not just any incident, but something that made us say, “Wait, this seems fishy, I wonder what really happened here …” and quickly became more complex than we imagined. Third, it built steam over the next week, crossed into the mainstream and dominated conversations, e-mails and tweets. Fourth, it transformed our collective perception of a famous person and made us re-evaluate every opinion we had about him. Fifth, it grew so enormous so quickly that everyone with a forum (radio show, column, blog, whatever) felt obligated to come up with an angle on it.

      Sixth, it doesn’t show any signs of slowing down; if anything, it’s gaining steam like a hurricane plowing toward Florida. Seventh, it involves three of the gotta-have-it basics in any gigantic story: sex, (possible) violence, and a (possible) cover-up. Eighth, there’s an unanswerable question looming over everything: Even if Tiger did cheat on his wife, should it matter to anyone other than them? (My answer: It shouldn’t. But that’s the rub of being a public figure. If you don’t want to be a public figure, don’t do commercials, don’t cover yourself in Nike logos and don’t sell a video game with your name on it.) And ninth, it’s a conspiracy-friendly saga that lends itself to all kinds of inventive angles, an absolute must for any story to maintain dominance.

      That last point cemented the Tiger Zoo as an iconic story. Maybe Michael Vick’s fall from grace was mildly incredible on paper, but there were no real layers to it. The facts came out, Vick’s reputation was tarnished, he paid a price, and that was that. People across America weren’t having arguments at cocktail parties about Vick, nor were they spending dinners breaking down facts and spouting opinions like Mel Kiper and Todd McShay debating the NFL draft.

      He goes on to theorize how the night of the accident played out. Bill is full of theories.


      Photo from fOTOGLIF

      Golf, Humor, Rumors & Gossip

      Charles Pierce skewers The Book of Basketball

      December 7, 2009 /

      I read Charles Pierce’s rant review last week, raised my eyebrows, read a little more of The Book of Basketball [see my review here] and I now have something to say about Pierce’s take on Simmons’ book.

      Here is the crux of Pierce’s problem with the 700-page opus:

      2.) I Am The Cosmos: Not my line. The late Molly Ivins used it in her epochal takedown of the egregious Camille Paglia. But it applies just as well here. Skip any passage having to do with Bill’s gambling, Bill’s taste in movies, Bill’s friends, and Bill’s ongoing wonderment that there are bars in this great land in which women take off their clothes for money. Also, lose most of the footnotes. You’re not the cosmos, and you’re not David Foster Wallace, either.

      In the interest of full disclosure, I occasionally post about Simmons and it’s not always flattering. Is he self-absorbed? Of course, but that’s the way his readers like it. They want to hear the stories about his friends, and their trips to Vegas, or strip clubs, or strip clubs in Vegas. These anecdotes make up a solid 20% of his columns at the Worldwide Leader. If he wrote a book and didn’t talk about “House” or his theory about how an exotic dancer picks her stage name, then he’d piss off his loyal following and his book wouldn’t be a New York Times bestseller. The bottom line is that just because Pierce doesn’t think that Simmons is the cosmos, it doesn’t mean that no one else does.

      Pierce continues…

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      NBA

      We need to stop using the term “arguably”

      December 1, 2009 /

      From Bill Simmons’ most recent mailbag:

      Q: Today is Saturday, aka College Football Day. I am pretty sure I have heard the word “arguably” said at least 15 times on the studio show I am watching. By them saying “Florida is ARGUABLY the best team in college football,” are they actually making an argument?
      — Josh, Wilmington, Del.

      SG: This is the cousin of the “having said that” argument Seinfeld and Larry David had on the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” season finale. Either you think Florida is the best team in college football or you don’t. By declaring the Gators are “arguably” the best, all you’re really saying is that someone could argue they are the best — which makes no sense, because anyone could argue anything and that doesn’t have to mean it’s true. If I said Dirk Nowitzki was “arguably” washed up, you would argue, “Wait a second — he’s been great this year; that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.” And we would be arguing. In other words, you just proved my point. So “arguably” is a word that means nothing other than, “I don’t really believe this, but I’m throwing it out anyway.”

      (Having said that, I have tried that trick in a sports column arguably more times than anyone.)

      “…anyone could argue anything and that doesn’t have to mean it’s true.”

      While we’re at it, people need to stop saying that a player is “one of the better ________ in the league.” All that’s saying is that the player is in the top half, and that isn’t saying much of anything. I was once watching a Packer game and the analyst said that Green Bay’s kick returner was one of the better return men in the NFC. That’s even worse, because he made a point to limit his statement to the National Football Conference. Give me a break. Either say that they’re “one of the best” or that they’re good, or great, or whatever. Stop saying that they’re “one of the better” because that’s not saying anything at all. Thank you.

      Humor, Television

      Review of The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons

      November 25, 2009 /

      I’ve always had a tough time doing book reviews. I’m only able to devote a few minutes here and there to actually sitting down and reading, so it takes me a while to get through a typical book. Combine that with the kind of turnaround that people want for a (or any) review, and I often wonder if someone that claims to have read an entire book is actually telling the truth.

      In the interest of full disclosure, when Bill Simmons’ 700-page The Book of Basketball landed on my front stoop, I decided then and there that I’d read the first few chapters and then post about it. After all, Christmas is coming up and people are probably wondering if this opus is a worthwhile gift for the beloved basketball fan in their life. (It is.)

      Anyone familiar with Simmons’ work on ESPN knows that he’s an engaging writer who uses an easy-to-read, conversational style littered with funny pop culture references. His book is no different. As a former collegiate player, I often take exception to his knowledge of the game. I’m not talking about history — if there’s one thing that’s clear about this book, it’s that Simmons understands how the NBA got from Point A to Point Z.

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      Humor, NBA, Reviews

      Bill Simmons vs. Wayne Winston

      November 23, 2009 /

      In last week’s column about Bill Belichick’s ill-fated decision to go for it on 4th-and-2 on his own 28, Bill Simmons took a shot at Mavs stat-man Wayne Winston.

      Which brings us back to statistics. Yes, they enhance the discussion. Many times. (FYI: The “to punt or not to punt” numbers, in general, are interesting. You can make a strong case that good offenses should almost always go for it on fourth-and-short beyond their own 40.) There are also times when statistics make that same discussion dumber. For instance, a former Mavericks statistician named Wayne Winston recently debuted a complicated plus-minus statistic for basketball that included the following two revelations:

      1. Kevin Durant made the 2008-09 Zombie Sonics worse.
      2. Tim Thomas is underrated.

      (Deep breath.)

      I don’t want to get into my thoughts about plus-minus data and all the inherent problems with it. Some other time. We’ll ignore the Durant lunacy for now. But to argue, insinuate or even blink that Tim Thomas is underrated — by any metric — cannot be allowed.

      He goes on to discuss Thomas’s lack of heart, and how he hurts his team spiritually and emotionally.

      Winston got wind of Simmons’ shout out and responded on his blog.

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      NBA, NFL

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