Bonds’ former mistress to testify that his testicles shrank

Former San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds (C) arrives before the opening arguments portion of his perjury trial at the Phillip Burton Federal Building in San Francisco, California March 22, 2011. REUTERS/Beck Diefenbach (UNITED STATES – Tags: SPORT BASEBALL CRIME LAW)

Yes, you read that title right and no, I’m not trying to be funny. (Not this time at least.)

Barry Bonds’ former mistress Kimberly Bell is scheduled to testify this week at his trial. Among some of the topics are that Bonds told her before the 2000 season that he used steroids and that she witnessed physical and mental changes that prosecutors will attribute to performance-enhancing drug use. But among the most controversial topics is whether or not Bell saw Bonds’ testicles shrink (which is a common side effect of steroid use).

This is usually when I would draw up a mock conversation between a lawyer and Bell talking about Bonds’ marbles, but my mother reads the site and I have to draw the line somewhere. So grow up, people.

That said, could you imagine what some comedian would do with the transcript from that testimony? Could you imagine what Daniel Tosh would do with it? Or Dave Chappelle? In one of his stand up performances, Dana Carvey managed to make the O.J. Simpson trial hilarious and that was about murder – not steroids, lying and testicles.

I wish Saturday Night Live were still funny because they could have a field day with this Bonds trial.

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Key witness says he saw Bonds’ trainer with syringe

Former San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds arrives before the opening arguments portion of his perjury trial at the Phillip Burton Federal Building in San Francisco, California March 22, 2011. REUTERS/Beck Diefenbach (UNITED STATES – Tags: SPORT BASEBALL CRIME LAW)

A key witness in Barry Bonds’ perjury trial testified on Wednesday that he saw Greg Anderson leave Bonds’ spring training bedroom with a syringe in 2000.

From CSN Bay Area:

Steve Hoskins said that when he saw Bonds and his personal trainer, Greg Anderson, coming out of the master bedroom he assumed Anderson had injected the star player with steroids.

He testified that he saw the two disappear into that room “once or twice” at each spring training over three consecutive years beginning in 2000.

He also told the jury of eight women and four men that, a year earlier, Bonds had ordered him to research the benefits and side effects of a steroid after the slugger had undergone elbow surgery.

I wouldn’t think this news will make or break Bonds’ case. In his opening statements on Tuesday, lead attorney Allen Ruby acknowledged that Bonds took steroids but claimed that Anderson misled him about what the substances were. This trial is not about whether or not Bonds took steroids: He did. But it’s up to the defense to somehow prove that he didn’t know what Anderson was giving him.

Good luck with that, by the way. Bonds’ defense team better have some real concrete evidence that their client had no idea what Anderson was giving him. And they better be able to convince a jury that Bonds was actually stupid enough not to question Anderson before ingesting/injecting unknown substances into his body.

Barry Bonds’ trial begins – does anyone care?

Former Major League Baseball player Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants arrives for the jury selection portion of his perjury trial at the United States District Courthouse in San Francisco, California March 21, 2011. The slugger is accused of lying to a grand jury and hampering investigation of a steroid distribution ring in professional athletics. If convicted, Bonds would still face a maximum of a decade in jail on each count, though U.S. District Judge Susan Illston could decide to sentence him to far less time. REUTERS/Beck Diefenbach (UNITED STATES – Tags: SPORT BASEBALL CRIME LAW)

Did you know that Barry Bonds’ trial begins today? Better yet, do you even care?

Oh, you care that he took steroids and tarnished baseball’s record books (or at least you act like you care because everyone else does). But do you really care whether or not this man goes to jail for four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice?

I can tell you one thing: Giants fans don’t care. Dude is nothing but a distant memory now that their G-Men are defending World Series champions. Ask 10 SF fans if they’re at least somewhat glad that the Bonds-led ’02 Giants lost because it made the victory in 2010 that much sweeter, I’d be willing to bet that at least eight of them would answer “yes.” Fans have fully embraced the Bearded Panda Freaks and hardly mutter Bonds’ name these days.

But what about non-Giant fans – do they care if Bonds goes to jail for lying under oath about steroids? Will they follow the story on a daily basis and keep up with the latest news? Do they know that the case has started and that close to 40 jurors have already been dismissed? Will bloggers follow this case as extensively as they did Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee’s trial?

Because I hardly doubt it. Again, fans care that Bonds tarnished the game by ballooning to the size of the Incredible Hulk in order to hit a bunch of home runs. But I find it hard to believe that the majority of people want to see “justice served” here (key word is “majority,” I realize that some, even many people want to see him go to prison but does the majority?). When you take Hammerin’ Hank’s fallen record and baseball out of the equation, Bonds took steroids. He didn’t kill anybody, he didn’t set a school on fire and he didn’t steal anyone’s money. He injected himself with steroids so that he could play long enough to break Hammerin’ Hank’s home run record and hopefully be remembered as one of the best ever.

Hey, wrong is wrong. If you lie under oath, you pay the consequences like everyone else. But the ironic part is that he’s not remembered like he had hoped he would. To me, that’s his true punishment. At this point, I couldn’t care less if he’s hauled off to prison and maybe I’m wrong but something tells me that the majority of fans don’t either. He simply isn’t news anymore.

Bonds’ indictment charges cut from 11 counts to five

According to ESPN.com, Barry Bonds will have to be arraigned and enter a plea next month for the third time since he was initially charged in 2007 with lying to a federal grand jury about his steroid use.

U.S. District Judge Susan Illston on Friday ordered Bonds to enter his new plea after prosecutors revised the charges against him, cutting his indictment from 11 counts to five. Bonds is expected to plead not guilty for the third time at a hearing March 1. His trial is scheduled to begin March 21.

Illston said she will rule later on Bonds’ demands to exclude from trial a recorded conversation between Bonds’ former business partner, Stevie Hoskins, and Bonds’ personal trainer, Greg Anderson. The hearing to exclude the evidence began Thursday morning in San Francisco federal court.

The recording was made by Hoskins in March 2003. Anderson can be heard discussing an undetectable substance he appears to have given Bonds. Prosecutors allege Anderson is talking about a designer steroid they say showed up in a Bonds urine test.

Bonds’ attorneys want to exclude the recording from the trial because of Anderson’s refusal to testify at the trial. They argue the tape can’t be authenticated without Anderson’s testimony.

The thing that has always got me about Bonds is that he didn’t need roids to be great because he was already great. You talk about a naturally gifted baseball player, that was Barry Lamar Bonds. As the legend goes, the guy once sat in the dugout during spring training and correctly predicted, in order and out loud to his teammates, what pitch the pitcher would throw for nearly three batters. That’s how in-tune to the game Bonds was.

But his own ego got him in the end. He wanted to be remembered as the greatest player to have ever lived, so he used steroids to extend his career so that he could become the home run king*. He didn’t need steroids to be great – he needed them to extend his career.

And steroids are what he’ll be remembered for, which is kind of ironic if you ask me.

Urine sample could prove Bonds used other steroids

Barry Bonds might be able to hide behind his lies for the time being, but he can’t run from damning urine samples.

Citing a person who has reviewed the evidence in the case, The New York Times reported on Wednesday that authorities detected anabolic steroids in urine samples linked to Bonds that they gathered in their investigation.

Bonds testified to a federal grand jury in 2003 that he used the “cream” and the “clear” but did not know that they were performance-enhancing drugs. The urine samples could prove the existence of other steroids in his body.

During that testimony, Bonds was asked if he ever took steroids, and he answered no. The government alleges that Bonds lied under oath. His perjury trial is scheduled to begin March 2.

Before anyone gets up in arms about steroids, steroid use and everything else pertaining to steroids, Bonds isn’t in trouble because he used riods, he’s in trouble because he supposedly lied under oath to a federal grand jury. This isn’t about steroids – it’s about Bonds lying, and it looks like federal investigators are building an airtight case.

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