Category: Humor (Page 65 of 86)

Bucks mascot has a rough night

The guys over at Yahoo! Sports blog Ball Don’t Lie unearthed some funny (or is it sad?) video of Bango, the Milwaukee Bucks mascot.

Before the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game this past weekend, Rufus, the Charlotte Bobcats’ Poochie-like mascot, hit such an impressive H-O-R-S-E shot, both Larry and Mike would have conceded their Quarter Pounders. From half court, back to the basket, over the head, off the Bucks’ mascot’s groin, nothin’ but net.

Now, normally, this is where the story would end. Applause, children’s laughter, maybe a little worm dance at center court. But not so fast. This is the fragile Bucks were talking about here — naturally, Bango suffered a torn ACL in his right knee and will undergo surgery in late March.

Poor guy. But I guess the lesson here is that you shouldn’t be climbing on a hoop when there are people/mascots trying to make half court shots.

Bill Simmons says he’s not a ‘Kobe hater’

It’s true, Bill Simmons has been critical of Kobe Bryant at times, but he has also pushed for the Black Mamba to be the league’s MVP even though the Lakers weren’t an elite team. In a recent column, Simmons explains why Kobe’s 61-point effort against the Knicks is the “defining Kobe game.”

I like watching him and arguing about him. I like being bothered and thrilled by him. And I really like when he plays like Michael J. Fox instead of The Wolf. See, I was weaned on the Bird era in Boston: the joys of making the extra pass, not caring about stats. Kobe’s 61-point game represented the best and worst of basketball to me. His shotmaking was transcendent: a steady onslaught of jumpers, spin moves and fallaways made in his typically icy style, as efficient an outburst as you’ll ever see. On the other hand, his teammates stood around and watched him like movie extras. In 37 minutes, Kobe took 31 shots and another 20 free throws. He finished with three assists and no boards. He may as well have been playing by himself on one of those Pop-A-Shot machines.

A friend of mine, a lifelong Knicks season ticket-holder since the Bradley era, e-mailed me afterward: “That was the worst night maybe of my life in the Garden. How horrible it must be to play with Kobe. He was signaling constantly to his teammates to get him the ball. THREE ASSISTS AND NO REBOUNDS. Talk about a team guy.” Another New York buddy was so distraught that Bernard’s 60-point Garden record fell so ignominiously—with Kobe’s padding his stats against a reprehensibly bad defense as a shocking number of fans chanted “MVP!”—that he e-mailed me the next day: “I literally didn’t sleep last night.” A third friend was there and swore that Kobe eyeballed Trevor Ariza after Trev made the mistake of swishing a 24-footer in the fourth. And yet, the national reaction seemed to be, “Wow! Kobe scores 61! He’s unbelievable!” Spike Lee even called it “genius.” (Move over, Einstein and Mozart.)

Really, it was the defining Kobe game. He elicited every reaction possible from lovers, haters and everyone in between. When LeBron arrived in New York two days later and notched his amazing 52/9/11, he didn’t break Kobe’s new record but definitely cheapened it. LeBron’s 52 came in the flow of the offense. When the Knicks doubled him, he found the open man. When they singled him, he scored. He dominated every facet of the game. It was a complete performance, basketball at its finest, everything we ever wanted from King James. And it happened 48 hours after Kobe’s big game … in the same building. Crazy.

I’ve been comparing those two games ever since. Never has basketball seemed more simple to me: I would rather watch a 52/9/11 than a 61/0/3. I would. It’s really that simple. It’s a matter of preference. So don’t call me a Kobe hater, call me a basketball lover.

And if Kobe ever put up a 52/9/11, yes, I would love him, too.

Gotta love that “Teen Wolf” reference. Classic.

Regular readers know I’m not a big fan of Kobe’s persona though I’m the first to admit that he’s the best one-on-one player in the NBA. I’ve been accused of being a hater as well, and that’s part of being critical of athletes on a sports blog. The bottom line is that Kobe is polarizing and not everyone that criticizes him is a true “hater,” much in the same way that everyone who likes his game isn’t a “believer.”

Simmons mentioned something else earlier in the piece.

When he accidentally injured Andrew Bynum’s knee recently, I found it interesting that Kobe’s reaction was more “Crap, there goes my title!” than “Oh, no, my teammate is hurt—I hate seeing him in pain!”

I went back and watched Kobe’s reaction again, and he did look like he was more pissed about the injury (and the negative ramifications on his title hopes) than he was genuinely concerned about Bynum.

Or maybe I’m just a hater.

New Bang! Cartoon: Postgame Platitudes

Thanks in part to veteran leader Kurt Warner, the Arizona Cardinals rose from the ashes of being one of the worst franchises in the history of sports to become 2008 NFC Champions and their magical ride was supposed to end with a victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII. Obviously it didn’t happen, and in their latest ‘toon, the guys at Bang! Cartoons illustrate what they would have liked to have seen in ‘Zona’s locker room after the game.

If you liked that cartoon, click here to check out more Bang! Cartoons.

Vladimir Radmanovic criticizes Lakers, unintentional hilarity ensues

Just hours after being traded to Charlotte, Vladimir Radmanovic criticized his old team’s game plan.

“Being a Laker was a great experience,” Radmanovic told The Charlotte Observer before Sunday’s 96-92 loss in Miami. “But it was also frustrating not knowing when and how I’d play.”

“Phil’s system, great as it is, doesn’t give a role player much opportunity,” Radmanovic said. “For Kobe Bryant, it’s great. For Pau Gasol, it’s great. But role players don’t do much.”

The Serbian pointed to the value of his versatility Sunday. He told the Observer he’s comfortable at power forward or small forward.

“I’ve been playing 3 and 4 my whole career,” Radmanovic said. “Obviously I’m a little quicker than most 6-10 guys, so I can guard smaller players.”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

“I can guard smaller players.”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit focusing solely on Radmanovic on the defensive end. Sometimes I’ll just watch him for a series of possessions just for a laugh. The guy is absolutely lost on that end of the court. Lost.

He has no awareness, is unable to see both his man and the ball and is always caught out of position. If he were a rookie or maybe a second-year player, the Lakers could have worked with him. But he’s 28 and it’s tough to teach an old dog new tricks.

You don’t have to be the quickest guy in the world to be a decent defender. You just have to understand positioning and know where you’re supposed to be on the court. Radmanovic doesn’t, and that’s why the Lakers traded him.

I can’t wait to see what Larry Brown does with this guy. Radmanovic might very well force him into retirement again.

Andrew Magee opens mouth, inserts foot

Devil Ball Golf has the story of golf announcer Andrew Magee and his…um…unfortunate decision last weekend.

Now, the FBR Open is, as we discussed in this space a week or so ago, an insane booze party frequently interrupted with golf. And at such parties, it’s likely that someone may choose to wear a t-shirt that’s perhaps a little inappropriate. But repeating what that shirt says … not such a bright idea.

Magee, wandering the course for The Golf Channel, told fellow analyst Gary McCord that he’d just seen a guy wearing a t-shirt that said, “I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating a Brownie.” I sincerely hope we don’t need to explain to you why some people might find that offensive. (Aside: why do we assume it’s a sexually suggestive remark? Could be about cannibalism, not that that’s any better.)

Anyway, McCord wisely kept his mouth shut, and several agonizing seconds of dead air followed Magee’s remark, during which Magee surely wished he could disappear into his own navel. Magee has been “disciplined” but apparently not suspended.

D’oh!

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