Category: Humor (Page 27 of 86)

Pippen says that Heat won’t break 72-game record

Via ESPN Chicago…

Scottie Pippen, during Hall of Fame festivities Friday morning, took exception to a prediction Van Gundy made to the Miami Herald that the Heat will break the mark the Bulls set in the 1995-96 season.

“Those guys’ biggest goal is to win a championship and not try to win 72 games,” Pippen told reporters. “But if Jeff Van Gundy wants to take a bet, I would bet him that they won’t break it.”

“I think that Boston is still the best team in the East. Miami has to prove themselves.”

Steve Kerr said something funny on Bill Simmons’ B.S. Report the other day about turning into the Mercury Morris of the ’96 Bulls:

I’m gonna put the champagne on ice and Jud Buechler, Bill Wennington and I are going to get together when they lose their 11th game.

He wasn’t serious, but the thought of the three of them celebrating the Heat’s 11th loss with champagne is funny as hell.

Bird compares the 1992 Dream Team with the 1960 Olympic team

Larry Bird (C) speaks on behalf of the members of the 1992 United States Olympic Dream Team, Clyde Drexler (L) and Michael Jordan, as that team is inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame during enshrinement ceremonies in Springfield, Massachusetts August 13, 2010.  REUTERS/Brian Snyder  (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT BASKETBALL)

The 1992 Dream Team was inducted into the Hall of Fame last night, and Larry Bird chimed in on the debate about which team was better: 1992 or the 1960 team that featured Oscar Robertson and Jerry West.

“I don’t know who had the best team, but I know the team in 1960 was a hell of a lot tougher than we were,” he said. “I couldn’t imagine the ’92 team getting in a covered wagon for eight days, going across the country, jumping in the Atlantic Ocean, swimming for six days, then walking 3,000 miles to the Coliseum in Rome for a dollar a day.”

Meanwhile, Bob Boozer, a member of that 1960 Olympic team had this to say:

“We were amateurs and we played against many of the older Euopean teams,” Boozer said. “They beat everybody by 43 or something points and we beat everybody by 42 but we were shooting with a soccer ball (which is how Boozer described the then-smaller international basketball) and we didn’t have the three-point line. When you shot a long jumper, it would change directions.”

He later admitted it would have been tough for anyone to beat that 1992 team.

Bill Simmons tries to improve fantasy football

NEW YORK - APRIL 24: Writer Bill Simmons speaks at the panel and screening of 'Beyond Playing The Field' during the 2010 Tribeca Film Festival at the School of Visual Arts Theater on April 24, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Rob Loud/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival)

Simmons thinks he can fix all things sports, and is lobbying President Obama for the position of Sports Minister. This week, he’s intent on fixing fantasy football, which in my estimation, doesn’t need a whole lot of fixing. Anyway, his six suggestions are:

1. Everyone agrees on a Universal Fantasy System
Not a bad idea, but it’s impossible to get everyone that plays a sport/game with no oversight to agree on a set of rules. Simmons thinks he should be the guy who decides the rules. Okay…can I be the guy who decides what everyone drinks at a bar?

2. Everyone switches to an auction format
I love fantasy auctions and so would you if you got off your butt and tried one someday. They are more fun and more fair than the snake draft, but the snake draft is far simpler. As FF continues to go more mainstream, simple is going to win out. It’s sad, but true.

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