This has to hurt…
Category: Humor (Page 25 of 86)
Grizzlies owner Michael Heisley is a character. He appeared on the Chris Vernon Show recently and got into a…um…spirited debate over whether or not the Grizzlies should exercise a little-known clause in the collective bargaining agreement that allows for teams to negotiate a performance incentive into rookie contracts.
Xavier Henry is still unsigned due to Heisley’s insistence on this performance incentive. Rookie contracts are generally ‘rubber stamp’ type deals where the player gets the max (120% of the rookie scale) and he signs immediately. Heisley claims that the Grizzlies are not the only team to use this strategy, but he was unwilling to name any names and I certainly haven’t heard of any other teams doing so.
On the show, Heisley is passive-aggressive, condescending and entertaining, and in addition to the Henry negotiations, he defends the Pau Gasol trade, the Zach Randolph acquisition, and his decision to draft Hasheem Thabeet over Ricky Rubio.
Matt Moore of CBSSports called the interview an ‘abject trainwreck,‘ while Chris Harrington of the Memphis Flyer called it ‘borderline-embarrassing.’
Cromartie blamed “Hard Knocks” for making him look bad by telling him to pause when he listed all of his kids on the popular HBO series. For their part, “Hard Knocks” denies this. Anyway, here’s the segment in all of it’s glory.
According to his Wiki page…
Cromartie has fathered eight children with six women living in five states, and has been named in at least five paternity suits in the past two years.
For what it’s worth, Cromartie is apparently married now.
This series is supported by LACOSTE Essential Sport.
Tom Brady recently said he hates the Jets so he’s not going to support them by watching “Hard Knocks.” Good for him.
Free of charge, here are five suggestions of things he could do instead:
5. Go antiquing…with his wife, Gisele Bundchen.
What’s antiquing, you ask? Well, it’s the act of shopping for antiques. (Don’t laugh.) The thought of it would make most men want to run their heads straight into a steel pole, but if you could afford to buy anything you want and follow this around all day, you’d make an exception too.
4. Take a cooking class…with Gisele.
My mother used to say that nothing tastes better than a home cooked meal. So why not take a cooking class with Gisele? Think of all the fun nights they’d have in the kitchen making dinner – clothing optional. Who knows, maybe this scene will ensue.
3. Wash his car…with Gisele.
He wouldn’t be a red blooded American male if he wasn’t out in the driveway doing something on the weekends. So why not wash that new Mercedes, and ask Gisele to pitch in? And maybe she wears nothing but a white T-shirt and some jean shorts? And gets a little wet? We’re just spitballin’ here, right?
2. Go horseback riding…with Gisele.
Rent a couple of stallions, hit the trail with the wife and see what happens. Breathe in the fresh air and soak up the sun. Maybe after a little truth or dare, she’ll agree to ride bareback.
1. Go lingerie shopping…with Gisele.
How great would it be to go to Victoria’s Secret with a Victoria’s Secret model? Only a handful of guys have that opportunity and Tom Brady is one of them. He should take advantage, and spend the afternoon in the dressing rooms letting Gisele model all that Victoria’s Secret has to offer.
The truth is, everything’s better with Gisele.
Must-see bonus video after the jump.
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