Month: July 2010 (Page 18 of 62)

      Daniel Tosh’s rant about soccer

      July 22, 2010 /

      On his show, Tosh.0, comedian Daniel Tosh laid down a nice rant about soccer.

      Nothing can help me care about soccer. Oh, ‘it’s the most popular sport in the world.’ Probably because it’s cheap to play. It costs a ball. Once every four years, America pretends to care about it. And yes, I call it ‘soccer.’ Don’t correct me because I don’t care what they call it in other lands — I speak America.

      Sorry world, we already have football and it’s way better. It’s supposed to be played by 300 pound men eight seconds at a time, not five-foot, six-inch fairies lightly jogging for three hours, or however long your game is…buy a scoreboard!

      It’s hard for me to get into a sport that I mastered at the age of seven. Excuse me for not being able to get revved up for this corner kick that never works. Hooray! The game ends without a single goal. I want to kill myself when an NBA team doesn’t break a hundred. That’s because you don’t get a free taco.

      Maybe there would be more scoring if they weren’t flopping all of the time. And hooligans, instead of killing players that screwed up, murder the ones that fall down crying because their toe got stepped on.

      The only good thing about soccer is the movie “Ladybugs.” That’s a classic. Don’t try to re-do it, Hollywood. I love women’s soccer. It’s a beautiful game, and America is actually good at it. Probably because we’re the only country that allows women to wear shorts.

      It’s nice to have an activity that terrorist countries can excel at. Enjoy your 15 minutes, Algeria. Then go back to being number one at car bombs. But just know that the only reason you’re beating us is because our best athletes are busy playing real sports. You think LeBron James might make an okay goalie? Oh, and good move, giving us Beckham ten years past his prime. That really panned out.

      Funny, funny, funny. But I still say soccer is more entertaining than baseball.

      External Sports, Humor, Soccer, World Cup

      Fredi Gonzalez a candidate to replace Piniella as Cubs’ next manager

      July 21, 2010 /
      CHICAGO - JANUARY 01: Former Chicago Cubs second baseman and Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg waves to the fans during pregame festivities prior to the Winter Classic between the Chicago Blackhawks and the Detroit Red Wings during the NHL Winter Classic at Wrigley Field on January 1, 2009 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

      According to ESPN Chicago, former Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez will be one of the candidates interviewed by the Cubs to replace Lou Piniella at the end of the season. Piniella announced his retirement yesterday, which will be effective immediately following the season.

      Gonzalez, who was fired by the Marlins on June 24, has a long personal and professional relationship with Cubs general manager Jim Hendry stemming from the time they worked together with the Marlins.

      Gonzalez, who has interviewed with the Cubs in the past, is the consensus top choice to replace Bobby Cox as manager of the Atlanta Braves, according to multiple baseball sources.

      If I were to put on my prediction hat (which is essentially the sleeve off one of my old T-shirts that I fashioned into a hat), I’d say that Gonzalez winds up in Atlanta and Ryne Sandberg (photo) replaces Piniella in Chicago. Sandberg has been craving the Cubs’ job for a couple of years now. He wants it. He needs it. He wants to make sweet, sweet managerial love to it.

      Of course, hiring Sandberg (who was a mega fan favorite in Chicago, which is about 10 notches above just a regular fan favorite in case you were wondering) makes too much sense. And nothing Cubs’ management does every makes sense.

      External Sports, MLB

      Jason Whitlock slams Mitch Albom

      July 21, 2010 /
      LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 29: Writer Mitch Albom appears in a conversation with Dr. Phil McGraw at the 12th Annual L.A. Times Festival of Books at Royce Hall on the U.C.L.A. campus on April 29, 2007 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Charley Gallay/Getty Images)

      Jason Whitlock is not happy that Mitch Albom won The Red Smith Award from the Associated Press Sports Editors (APSE), and via The Big Lead, he shares his thoughts.

      When I took a job in 1992 at the Ann Arbor News, I had a front-row seat during King Myth Albom’s glory years. My main job was covering the Fab Five. Albom’s main job seemed to be creating a Fab Five narrative that would fit neatly into a best-selling book.

      Not surprisingly, most of my Michigan sports-writing peers watched the Fab Five pull up to practices and games in expensive SUVs and assumed C-Web, Jalen, Juwan and Co. weren’t exactly starving while pursuing higher education. I spent an entire day playing video games inside Webber’s beautifully furnished apartment. Years later, nothing about the Ed Martin investigation and the hundreds of thousands of dollars funneled to Webber surprised me.

      Only Myth Albom, the “journalist” given the most access to the Fab Five by head coach Steve Fisher, was shocked by the good life Webber lived on UM’s campus. In his Fab Five book, Albom lamented the “fact” that Webber couldn’t afford McDonald’s while the university made millions off the sale of his jersey.

      Feel-good narrative fiction bullshit was Albom’s money-maker long before he published Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

      Whitlock’s story about the Fab Five made me wonder — back in the day, why didn’t he write about how Chris, Jalen and Juwan were driving expensive SUVs? Maybe he filed a story, I don’t know…but I doubt it. Instead he’s spending an entire day playing video games at Webber’s ‘beautifully furnished apartment.’

      I’m not a fan of Mitch Albom either, but it seems Whitlock is not criticizing him for turning a blind eye to the money surrounding the Fab Five, since he did the same thing. Instead, he’s criticizing Albom for acting surprised about the revelation that they were paid to play for Michigan.

      Isn’t this a little hypocritical?

      College Basketball, External Sports, Humor

      Torre’s mistakes bigger than Mattingly’s gaffe

      July 21, 2010 /
      June 27, 2010 Los Angeles, CA..Joe Torre of the Dodgers argues with third base umpire Jerry Crawford after a strike call by home plate umpire Chris Guccione on Garrett Anderson during the Major League Baseball game between the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Dodgers at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles. The Yankees defeated the Dodgers, 8-6, in 10 innings..Josh Thompson/CSM.

      Lost in the double mound visit gaffe by Don Mattingly in the Dodgers’ embarrassing 7-5 loss to the Giants on Tuesday night was a series of horrendous decisions by L.A. skipper Joe Torre earlier in the night.

      Tim Lincecum sent the Dodgers’ bench into a tizzy after he hit Matt Kemp with a pitch to lead off the bottom of the fifth inning. Then reliever Denny Bautista really pissed off L.A. when he threw one high and tight to catcher Russell Martin in the bottom of the sixth (which led to L.A. bench coach Bob Schaefer being ejected after he started screaming at home plate umpire Adrian Johnson).

      In trying to send a message to the Giants that he wasn’t going to take all of their shenanigans, Torre sent his starter Clayton Kershaw (who had already thrown over 100 pitches and was starting to get beaten like a piñata) up to the plate following Martin’s fly out to left. Mind you that at this point, the Giants had all but erased the Dodgers’ four-run lead and it was now a one-run game at 5-4. Kershaw promptly struck out swinging, as did Rafael Furcal to end the inning.

      In the top of the seventh, Torre’s intentions were made clear when Kershaw threw his first pitch of the inning right into Aaron Rowand’s thigh. Johnson, who had warned both benches after Lincecum had beaned Kemp, then ejected Kershaw and Torre as Rowand took his base.

      On the surface, it appeared that Torre was just making a point that the Dodgers weren’t going to back down from their biggest rival in their home park. But when you stand back and look at the situation on a whole, it was one of the dumbest moves by a manager this season.

      Continue reading »

      External Sports, MLB

      USC trying to clean up image, starts by throwing out Bush’s Heisman

      July 21, 2010 /
      December 03, 2005 - Los Angeles, CA..USC's Reggie Bush #5 runs in action against UCLA...USC defeats the UCLA Bruins at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California. USC won the game 66-19..Photo Louis Lopez Photo via Newscom

      A day after helping Mike Garrett with his retirement decision (that’s a nice way of saying they gave him the boot) and replacing him with new athletic director Pat Haden, USC returned its copy of the Heisman Trophy that former running back Reggie Bush won in 2005.

      From ESPN.com:

      The university’s incoming president announced an overhaul of the athletic department Tuesday, replacing athletic director Mike Garrett with Pat Haden, ordering the removal of displays honoring Bush’s and Mayo’s accomplishments at USC and returning its copy of Bush’s Heisman.

      Haden said the school’s plan to get rid of nearly all references to Bush and Mayo — right down to scrubbing their images from school murals and removing Bush’s No. 5 jersey in its place of honor in the lobby of Heritage Hall — are all part of the NCAA’s directive to disassociate the school from the athletes.

      It’s important to note that Bush is still in possession of the original Heisman, which is given out by the Downtown Athletic Club and the Heisman Trust. Outside of the fact that it’s given to a college player, the NCAA has no barring on who receives the award and therefore, whether or not one should be taken away.

      Some may question why USC didn’t get rid of O.J. Simpson’s Heisman after he murdered two people all of his legal troubles, but don’t forget that his trial in the early 90s was nearly 30 years after he donned a Trojan uniform. Plus, everything that coconut did after his playing days had no affect on what he did on the field at USC.

      Bush, on the other hand, is a different story. He directly played a role in USC receiving a two-year bowl ban and I can’t blame the university for wanting to scrub his name from its memory. Their message is clear: We’re moving on.

      If this is USC’s way of embarrassing Bush, then so be it. He deserves it. I realize he was only a kid and kids are easily persuaded, but he still knew right from wrong. He still made the conscious decision to put himself ahead of the program.

      College Football

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