There’s never a bad time for a gratuitous photo.

Tip-off of the first game — Butler/LSU — is in about 40 minutes, and I couldn’t be more excited. Well, yes, I could be more excited, but let’s just all accept the fact that I’m really excited for the start of the tournament. Geesh, get off my back.

Even before I started writing about sports for a living, it was an annual ritual to take the first Thursday of the tournament off to catch all the games. These days, workers get paid to watch streaming coverage in their cubicles, and CBS even has a “boss button” to hit — it pulls up a generic Excel spreadsheet — when the supervisor walks by.

Today, I’ll be watching the first set of games at home with my son Max before I pass him off to the nanny and meet a couple of buddies — LaRusso and JC — at a local sports haunt to catch the second set of games. Max just turned one on Tuesday, thank you very much. Yes, he’s a St. Patrick’s Day baby. And I fully plan to be there when he turns 21 to make sure it’s not the last night of his life. I’ll be the stern-looking 6’8″ guy in the background of all the pics, watching over all the hi jinks. I’ll be known to all his friends as “Max’s a-hole dad.” I’m fully proud in advance of that fact.

Anyway, I’m planning on doing a running diary of Thursday (and maybe Friday), Bill Simmons style. (By the way, Simmons didn’t invent stream-of-consciousness writing — the beat writers of the ’60s did — but he’s probably the first to apply it to sports writing, so that’s why I mentioned him. Ah, forget it.)

See you in a bit. (If you want to take a look at my picks, click here.)

10:03 AM: Two 8/9 games going and my local CBS affiliate is showing the 2/15 matchup between Memphis and Cal State Northridge. DAMN YOU, NORTHRIDGE! (Actually, as long as they keep it close — they’re down five at the moment — I’m happy to watch a potential upset.) My two picks in those 8/9 games — Butler and BYU — are both down eight right now, so maybe it’s good that I’m not watching. FYI, Max just had breakfast and is playing happily in his pack-and-play right now.

10:21 AM: CBS’ staggered start times backfire as all three games go to half at the same time. Maybe they should stagger the times by more than 5-10 minutes…just a thought. Three games at half means more time for Seth Davis to make hand gestures as he speaks. (FYI, Max just pooped. I’m never going to get used to changing diapers.)

10:51 AM: You might be wondering, how is CS-Northridge keeping it close? Memphis sleepwalked its way through the first ten minutes or so and a couple of their best players got into foul trouble early. This gave Northridge confidence, and now that they’re hanging with the #2 seed, the pressure is building on the Tigers. The Matadors continue to attack, and they’re getting the ball upcourt before Memphis can really set up its vaunted defense. On the other end of the court, Northridge is playing zone and the Tigers are settling for long jumpers. If not for 20 points from Roburt Sallie — yes, that’s how he spells his first name — the Tigers would be in major trouble. As it stands, they’re in minor trouble. We’ll see if they can pull the way over the last 14 minutes. (FYI, Max just had his bottle and went down for a nap. Little does he know that he’s going to be a 6’10” power forward and playing in March Madness in 18 years.)

11:09 AM: Man, this Memphis/Northridge game is shaping up to be a classic. The underdog is up one with 9 minutes to play and the favorite looks out of sorts. The crowd is seriously getting behind the Matadors and this makes things even tougher on the Tigers. We’re getting into squeeze-the-buttcheeks time.

11:25 AM: It looks like a series of empty possessions for the Matadors will be their undoing. To their credit, the Tigers played solid defense and forced Northridge into several tough shots. Butler and BYU look like losers, so I’m going to be 1-2 in my first three bracket picks. Not good.

11:31 AM: Roburt Sallie’s previous career-high was 13 points. He has 35 against Northridge. Talk about stepping up your game. Without him, the Tigers would have been sunk. (Side note: I like those AT&T commercials where the mother is stingy with her family’s rollover minutes.)

11:34 AM: Interestingly, both of the 8/9 matchups were won by the major conference team, with the mid-majors — Butler and BYU — looking somewhat overmatched physically. We have four games coming up — Northern Iowa/Purdue, Radford/North Carolina, Chattanooga/UConn and Maryland/California. The UNC and UConn games should be snoozers, but the other two are interesting matchups.

11:54 AM: Heading down to my favorite sports bar, Rudy’s (Newport Beach), in a few minutes, once the nanny gets here. Max is sleeping soundly. My parental responsibility is (almost) done for the day.

12:29 PM: Crap, no tables available at Rudy’s, so I met the semi-retired ne’erdowell, JC, at my 43rd-favorite sports bar, Newport Beach Brewery. It’s a solid backup.

12:35 PM: Every time I come here it’s the same thing. I have four TVs in my line of sight — two have the Cal/Maryland game, one has the North Carolina game, and one TV is off completely. We always have to wrangle a waitress (who couldn’t care or know less about what we’re talking about) to get the right games on. They do the same thing with Sunday Ticket, which might explain why there are open tables here…

1:47 PM: How many easy layups can one team give up? Cal apparently is trying to set the record. The Bears are down 10 with eight minutes to play, and if they lose, I’ll be 0-3 in the first three closely seeded games. Not a good start. LaRusso has joined us at the Brewery, who is a self-described “moody person.” Right now, he describes his mood as “indifferent.” He’s more enjoyable to be around when he’s drinking Captain and Cokes, but he has to play chauffeur this afternoon, so we’ll have to wait. At least we have the TV problem straightened out, so we’re good to go. Cal’s defense is just terrible.

2:25 PM: We tried Rudy’s again and grabbed a table. The lunch crowd kind of cleared out, so some tables opened up. Good thing too, because the waitresses here are…um…nice to look at. The uniform is the key. A tight black top with a plaid red and black skirt. Not quite as risque as the Hooters uni, but they definitely have that naughty schoolgirl thing going. Anyhoo, we’ve hit kind of a dead time in the schedule. While the East Coast goes to the evening news, there is only one game going — Washington/Mississippi State. I really need the Huskies to win. I’m not doing very well in my pool so far and I have Washington advancing to the Sweet Sixteen. The key in the first round is to lose as few of your Sweet Sixteen teams as possible. JC says he’s feeling pretty good, but he’s waiting for an exciting game. I’m working on a Red Bull & vodka, which at $6 is what passes for a special at Rudy’s.

3:31 PM: Man, Jon Brockman hit the floor hard, but he didn’t stay down long. I pushed himself of the floor — “Get off me, floor” — and ran downcourt. The Huskies look great. I knew Mississippi State wasn’t going to be able to fly cross country and beat the Pac-10 champion in their neighboring state. Eight more games tonight…JC says he’s feeling “pretty mellow,” but he’s still waiting for an upset. LaRusso just returned from his part-time chauffeur gig. He would describe his mood as “better.” (He’s a man of many words.) Let’s get this guy a Captain and Coke! (Our waitress, Tiffany — yep that’s her real name, is on it.)

3:55 PM: All right, the three of us are in an argument about the former Memphis player Shawne Williams. JC said it’s “Shaun” Williams but wasn’t willing to wager a single f*#king drink on it. He is such a puss when it comes to betting. He lost a couple straight a while ago and now he won’t bet on anything. What’s the fun in that? (Shawne Williams is riding the bench for the Mavericks right now.) We all agreed that Memphis sucks. They play in a weak conference, barely play anyone and they phone it in half the time. LaRusso says that John Calipari isn’t a good coach, but he is a good recruiter.

4:02 PM: If someone writes a blog and no one reads it, does it really exist?

4:12 PM: LaRusso on the NIT, “I watched some of the Kentucky/UNLV game just to see what gym they were in.” How useless is the NIT? A third of the teams are motivated because they were snubbed by the Big Dance, another third don’t care one way or the other, and the final third are small schools that have a point to prove. I should really watch the NIT just for the unintentional comedy factor, but I need the Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday break.

5:00 PM: There’s a guy at the next table with a hair piece so bad…at what point is there diminishing returns on a hair piece? Okay, so you have “hair” on your head. But if everyone knows it’s a hair piece, isn’t it that much worse? Not only do they know you’re bald, but they also know that you don’t have the self confidence to let your dome shine. What’s worse — that the girl at the next table knows that you’re bald, or that she knows that you’re bald and self-loathing?

5:37 PM: The economy must really be taking its toll. It used to be that when splitting a tab, three guys would just split the thing into thirds regardless of who drank/ate what, but now guys are nickel & diming each other. I try to be laid back when it comes to the check, but it seems like I’m on the hook for 45% of any given three-way tab no matter what I eat or drink. Everyone seems to forget about tax…why is that? Villanova is in serious trouble…in Philly…they better remove their heads from their collective asses or I’m going to lose a Sweet Sixteen team.

6:28 PM: Clemson is so undependable. I am never going to pick Clemson or California in a tightly seeded game…horrible. You’d think Michigan would be worse, but you’d be wrong. “Why do we pick Clemson?” LaRusso: “‘Cause we’re stupid.”