Tag: Rick Reilly (Page 3 of 3)

Inside the mind of Rick Reilly

In an interview with Newsday.com, Rick Reilly discussed a number of different topics, including how he feels about sports blogs and his relationship with Bill Simmons.

“I don’t really go on the blogs, because they don’t really like anybody. Jesus could do a column and they’d be like, ‘What the hell is with the hair?’ It’ll always be something. Charles Barkley told me a long time ago always half the people are going to hate you and half the people are going to love you. If you suddenly change who you are, the other half will hate you. I don’t really care what people holding down couch springs do or say.”

I get it now. So since he has read some negative stuff on the blogs about his writing, bloggers must dislike everything. That makes perfect sense. Rick might want to consider that bloggers are just a subsection of his audience that actually has time to write about what they like and don’t like. Sure, there are blogs out there that just throw mud at everyone, but here at The Scores Report, there are writers we like and writers we don’t like.

He commented on his (outrageous) salary…

“I didn’t put out the salary. I certainly didn’t want it out there and I think a lot of times people are just like, ‘Oh, screw him.’ I hear that with athletes all the time. ‘Screw them, they’re making so much money.’ Well, that’s what the owners are paying. The free market is allowing that. You’re going to hate the guy because someone is paying him?”

As I said in my post about Jim Calhoun’s press conference tirade, this is America…we don’t begrudge anyone for making a lot of money if they are really good at what they do. How does this relate to Reilly? Well, there are a lot of people out there that are bored/irked by a vast majority of his columns (myself included) and are insulted by the salary that ESPN decided to pay him. Was $2 million per year too much to pay for Reilly’s columns? You be the judge.

I think he’s good with the sentimental stuff, but once he gets out of his wheelhouse, it’s a train wreck.

He commented on his relationship with Bill Simmons and the rumors that the two don’t get along…

“Where do they get this stuff? I get along with him. I think he’s funny. I think he’s a great turner of phrases. I’ve tried to learn from him how he builds an audience on the Internet. He definitely has that new blogger style where you write in stream of consciousness style, a lot of parentheses, a lot of tangents, and that’s not the way I was raised.

“My whole thing was hey, you’ve got 800 words, choose them wisely. Pick the exact word you want and don’t waste a word and kill your darlings even if you love them, that it’s got to fit. He comes from a whole different era where it doesn’t have to fit. He can go on for 7,000 words if he wants. My kids read him.

“I don’t know how that whole thing started. Every time I see him he’s great.”

Reilly may just be highlighting the differences in style, but Simmons does have to keep the word count down when he writes for ESPN The Mag, and those columns are just as entertaining as his 7,000 word opuses. Simmons doesn’t always know what he’s talking about, but he is always funny, whether he’s right or wrong.

Reilly does deserve credit for starting his Nothing But Nets campaign which raises money to buy mosquito nets for Africans to protect them from malaria.

“Even sports fans can figure this out. Ten dollars puts a net over a couple of kids who are not going to die of malaria. They sleep under the net from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. when the mosquitoes are out. That’s about 2.3 million nets, and it just keeps growing . . . People are so generous. It’s slowed a little in the recession but it’s still going strong.

“I think we helped people realize, you mean we can wipe out malaria with these nets, and it’s not going to wipe out vegetation and no one has to take a pill and no trucks are going to get hi-jacked? No one can use the nets for anything but this.”

A worthy cause, for sure.

Correcting Rick Reilly, Part 2: Rick wants coaches to show less class

Every issue of ESPN The Magazine ends the same way. I absolutely dread flipping to Rick Reilly’s back page column because it usually throws me into a state of depression. I can’t believe that ESPN is paying Reilly what they are when the guy can only produce a good, entertaining column once in a blue moon.

Reilly’s column for the Feb. 23 issue is no different. He starts off with a bad joke.

I’ve been fired more than pottery.

Ugh.

Hey, at least he didn’t shoehorn in some stale pop culture reference. I’ll give him that.

He then runs down his personal employment history, or at least those jobs that didn’t end well.

I was fired from my first job at 12. Some people apparently don’t want their tulips mowed. I was fired from my babysitting gig at 13. Who knew a diaper wouldn’t completely flush? Got fired as a machine/tool rental store assistant at 16. Thought the boss said, “Fifteen parts oil, one part gas in the jackhammers.” Turns out, it was the other way around. Pick-ee.

And how did I react whenever I got canned? Not well. Once, my pals and I egged the offending organization’s window front.

So he performs horribly at his job and reacts to getting fired by vandalizing his ex-employee’s place of business? Nice.

He then goes on about how coaches are too nice after they’ve been fired.

Most of these guys didn’t even deserve to lose their jobs, and they’re acting like they just got handed a freaking fruit basket. Me? I’d go triple Sean Penn! I’d scream! I’d sue! I’d tear paintings off walls! I’d race into the GM’s office and spit on his wife’s photo! I’d snatch the owner’s toupee and set it on fire!

But listen to Tommy Tuberville. He was forced out of Auburn with an 85–40 record in 10 seasons, including seven wins against Alabama. Afterward, he issued a statement that read: “I’m going to remain in Auburn and help the Auburn family however I can.”

If I went 85–40 and got axed, this would be my statement: I’m going to remain in Auburn and watch mailmen deliver the $10,000 of porn I’ve ordered on your Visas to all of your homes. You’re going to regret this until three weeks after you croak. And just try to mess with my pension. I have the Christmas-party video.

Or listen to Edwards. After the season, the Chiefs left Edwards twisting in the wind for a month before letting him go. How did Edwards take it? “I respect the tough decision that was made,” he said in a statement. “I wish the organization the very best.”

Herm, you FIGHT to KEEP your JOB!

Now he dishes out advice for those coaches that have been axed.

The American way is to do what dump truck driver Julian Burnett of Orange County, Fla., did when he was fired last year by his boss, who also happened to be his sister. He drove that dump truck straight up his sister’s driveway and through her garage, which just happened to contain her BMW. Ooh, my bad, sis. You won’t tell Mom, right?

Great example you’re setting there, Rick.

Now he’s going to call out Mike Shanahan…

Of all of them, it’s Shanahan’s reaction that most flummoxes me. He was fired by a guy who is practically his best friend, Pat Bowlen, after a year in which he lost seven—seven!—running backs to injuries…And get this: Shanahan got pink-slipped while he was in the middle of building a 35,000-square-foot home and a new restaurant. Thanks, buddy!

So owners can’t fire coaches if they are building a home or a new restaurant? I’m confused.

But does Shanahan nail Bowlen’s door shut? Spray paint his polo ponies? Snap all his Pings? No, he gets up at the press conference and calls Bowlen “the best owner in sports,” and adds he probably had it coming. “Your job is to win championships, and we have not won a championship in a while.”

First thing I’d do? Tie Bowlen’s tongue in a knot. Then I’d e-mail every suspicious looking picture I had of him to TMZ. Then I’d threaten to tell the media all the secrets I knew. Actually, who needs the media? Shanahan just bought a piece of The Denver Post’s old printing press. You’re going to fire a guy with his own printing press?

Or how about this, Mike? Your new house is only a three-minute drive from Bowlen’s, right? Get yourself a massive catapult.

And a whole lot of eggs.

All right, so Rick’s advice to people when they get fired (for just cause or not) is to freak out. Some might write this whole column off as one big joke, but if that’s the case, I just don’t get the humor. He seems to be serious when he talks about how frustrated he is with the way coaches handle being fired.

It’s called class. If a coach freaks out after the decision has been made to fire him, it’s only going to make him look like an ass. He still has a career to think about. Is he more or less likely to get another head coaching job if he acts like a petulant child? Why would an owner want to hire a guy who is mentally unhinged (or, at the very least, can’t handle adversity) to run his football team?

I can hear the phone conversation between the editor of ESPN The Mag and his boss right now…

Editor: I just read Rick’s column, and…um…it doesn’t really make any sense.
Boss: How do you mean?
Editor: Well, the premise is, I guess, that Rick thinks that coaches should freak out when they’re fired.
Boss: Is it funny?
Editor: Not really.
Boss: Do you have any idea what we’re paying this guy?
Editor: Yes. And I think it’s way too–
Boss: Then run the f*cking column! I don’t care if it makes sense! (click)
Editor: (sigh)

Related content: Correcting Rick Reilly, Part 1: Rick should stop trying to be funny

Why can’t readers comment on columns by Bill Simmons or Rick Reilly?

Regular readers know that there are times when Anthony Stalter and I get hammered for our opinions here at The Scores Report. And that’s fine. It’s the nature of the sports blog and online writing in general. But over at ESPN, there are two writers that are held above the fray — Bill Simmons and Rick Reilly. Want to comment on something Bill or Rick said? Tough luck.

This (justifiably) irks CBS SPiN columnist Cameron Martin, so he asked an ESPN spokesperson, Paul Melvin, why ESPN treats these two differently than any of its other writers.

At CBSSports.com and FoxSports.com, readers can comment directly on every article without exception. Consequently, writers like Gregg Doyel and Jason Whitlock cannot present a false image of universal public adoration.

At ESPN.com, readers can comment on every columnist except two — Bill Simmons and Rick Reilly, two front-page columnists. So, what makes these humps so special? I couldn’t think of a good reason, so I decided to ask Paul Melvin, ESPN spokesman. Here’s our e-mail exchange:

Me: “Paul, I had a question about ESPN columnists that I was going to address in my CBS column on Monday: Why can’t readers comment on Rick Reilly and Bill Simmons columns? And why is it only them? Is it to protect the idea that these two columnists are universally loved? Jemele Hill and DJ Gallo and Scoop Jackson and Gene W get hammered by some readers. Why isn’t that same courtesy extended to Bill and Rick? Seems disingenuous. Thanks, Cameron Martin.”

ESPN: “Cameron, Bill and Rick’s accessibility to fans has always been part of their style, and they both have developed long-standing practices of engaging their fans. Bill has a history of using his interaction with his readers as part of his voice and has, through the years, developed a regular, robust ‘mailbag’ style column that is a favorite of readers. Rick’s connection to the personal stories of people in all walks of life has helped give him his signature voice. With respect to those traditions, we’ve chosen to continue to present their interaction with readers through those avenues.”

(As non-answers go, that’s pretty good. Unfortunately I wasn’t looking for a non-answer.)

Me: “Paul, thanks for the reply. Quick follow-up: In this new era of change, transparency and accountability, isn’t it a bit antiquated and un-American to try to control feedback from the public? What if President Obama wanted to comment directly on one of Rick Reilly’s stories? Shouldn’t he be able to announce to the world, ‘Rick, you’re an inspiration to millions everywhere’?”

ESPN: “Hi Cameron. Appreciate the follow up, but I think our earlier comment is all we’re going to have to offer here. Paul Melvin.”

Got that, sports fans? If you want to tell me I suck, you can go to the bottom of this article. If you want to tell Rick Reilly he sucks, you can go to hell.

So there you have it, folks. ESPN has said all that it will on this matter, at least for now.

Correcting Rick Reilly, Part 1: Rick should stop trying to be funny

Regular readers might be familiar with my ongoing series, Correcting Bill Simmons. Now that I’m forcibly exposed to Rick Reilly’s back page column in ESPN The Mag, it’s time to start a new series with Reilly as the star.

This week, he wrote a somewhat touching piece about how Jay Cutler’s dealings with Type 1 diabetes has affected children all over the country. Reilly isn’t bad at the heart-warming stuff, but when he tries to be funny, he just comes off as stiff. Take this paragraph:

Shy and mop-haired, he led the league in shrugs. He looked like he had terminal influenza. The bags under his eyes had bags. And yet he’d sleep 10 hours at night and three more after practice. He lost 35 pounds in the 2007 season alone. He couldn’t concentrate. He was starting to look like the biggest bust since Lindsay Lohan. And that’s when he found out he had diabetes. Or rather, it had him.

All right, there are two problems here. The first is the statement that Cutler was a bust when he hit the league. I don’t know if Reilly is talking about Cutler’s first or second season, but he played pretty well even prior to getting diagnosed with diabetes. In 2006, he played in five games and threw for an average of 200 yards, 1.8 TD and 1.0 INT. In 2007, he played in all 16 games and finished with 3497 yards, 20 TD and 14 INT. What about these numbers says “bust”?

When I found out that a pre-diagnosed Cutler was still able to be a decent fantasy QB despite losing 35 pounds and much of his strength, I put him at the top of my sleeper QB list heading into 2008. Needless to say, that has paid off.

Then there’s the comparison to Lindsay Lohan.

He was starting to look like the biggest bust since Lindsay Lohan.

What does this mean? Is he saying that Lohan was a bust in that she was destined for big things but has since fallen from grace? Or is he saying that she has big knockers? If it’s the former, I don’t know how relevant it is to refer to actors as “busts.” They weren’t drafted in the first round and they weren’t given big contracts before playing in the big leagues. If it’s the latter – which is far less likely considering Reilly’s typically PG-rated fare – I could think of a dozen well-endowed starlets that would make for a better joke. (There’s Pamela Anderson, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayak, Jennifer Tilly, Catherine Bell, just to name a few.)

Then there’s this attempt at humor, referencing Cutler’s regular blood tests, which require him to prick his fingers over and over…

What Cutler wants to be is a normal QB, but he never will be. From now on, he’ll have more holes than a Jessica Simpson movie.

Really? More holes than a Jessica Simpson movie? Reilly can’t find another “actress” to kick around. Simpson hasn’t been in a major motion picture in two years (2006’s “Employee of the Month”), which I haven’t seen. She was in “Dukes of Hazzard” in 2005, but I don’t really remember it being filled with plot holes. (It was just a bad, bad movie.)

Maybe Reilly should take a shot at Kate Hudson, who has been in no fewer than six horrid romantic comedies in the last five years. I’m thinking of “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” “Alex & Emma,” “Raising Helen,” “You, Me & Dupree,” “Fool’s Gold” and “My Best Friend’s Girl.” If you’re a big-wig Hollywood studio exec and you’re about to greenlight a bad rom-com, Kate Hudson should be on speed dial.

This is just a case of Rick Reilly trying to be Bill Simmons. He thinks that if he shoehorns some pop culture reference in as a joke that it will make his stuff seem fresh and funny. But it just makes him look tired.

He should stick to the sappy, sentimental stuff. The world only has one Bill Simmons, and that’s plenty.

Rick Reilly plays fantasy football with Barack Obama

I’ve been meaning to post something about Rick Reilly’s new gig, but I just haven’t been able to find an angle that didn’t make me sound like a hater. Based on what I’ve read of his work, I’m not really sure how he got to where he is. I guess I should take notes, however, because the guy has my dream job.

Last year, he signed a big deal with ESPN the Mag to become its back page columnist. I have read just about every one of those columns and have come away unimpressed.

Now he has a piece where he describes flying to Dayton, Ohio to pick his weekly (salary cap) fantasy football team with none other than Barack Obama.

Now, The Scores Report is apolitical, but let’s just say I would have jumped at this opportunity.

It’s a good read, especially for those voters out there that like their Presidents to be sports fans.

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