NE PATRIOTS DRAFT compared NFL players to TV Networks.
The Networks
ABC – Peyton Manning
The most commercial of all networks for the most commercial player ever.
NBC – Eli Manning
Hit-or-miss QB for a hit-or-miss network.
CBS – Tom Brady
Both are tops in their business.
FOX – Tony Romo
Reality TV lifestyle fits in well here.
Basic Tier
ESPN – Brett Favre
Did you know that Brett Favre’s career is in flux right now?
HGTV – Jason Taylor
Seems like a guy that can decorate. Just saying.
CNBC – Joey Porter
Like Jim Cramer on CNBC, Joey loves to hear himself talk and generally leaves things worse than when he showed up.
E! – Reggie Bush
There wasn’t a channel about running around for six seconds and three yards.
Spike TV – Jared Allen
Seems like the mostly like guy to go fishing with and have a few beers, err, mountain dews with.
Fox News – LaDanian Tomlinson
They both love themselves and pass judgment on others.
Speed Channel – Ben Roethlisberger
Let someone else drive Big Benjamin.
Food Network – Ted Washington
Listed at 365ish. Ha. Ted laughs at scales that only go up to 365.
The Premium Channels
HBO – Rex Grossman
80% of the time bad(INT’s, fumbles, random old movies), and 20% sublime(SB Run, TD’s Arrested Development, Sopranos, The Wire), Rex and HBO know how to tease.
Showtime – Chris Henry
Cinemax – Adam Jones
Guns. Sex. Weeds.
I’ve got one more:
Animal Planet – Michael Vick.
Wrong? Yes. Out of line? Yes. Inappropriate? Yes. Funny? Debatable.
