According to a report by Henry Schulman of the San Francisco Chronicle, the Indians wanted quite the haul from the Giants if they were to have acquired catcher Victor Martinez, who eventually wound up being traded to the Red Sox.

Sources said the Indians wanted a package led by either Matt Cain or Madison Bumgarner for Martinez, and the Giants are happy with a righty-lefty first base combo of Ryan Garko and Travis Ishikawa.

This report might not be true (after all, Schulman didn’t site his sources), but if it is, Cleveland GM Mark Shapiro had to have been hammered when he took the call from San Francisco GM Brian Sabean about V-Mart:

“Uh yeah, Mark? This is Brian Sabean from the Giants.”

“What can Brain I do for you Giants?”

“What? Is this Mark Shapiro from the Indians?”

“Yes siiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Word up, man?”

“Uh yeah…hey listen Mark, I was wondering what kind of package you’d be looking for in a deal for Victor Martinez.”

“Matt Cain.”

“Matt Cain?”

“Matt Cain.”

“Are you drunk? Martinez is a good hitter, but he’s struggled this past month and he’s 30. Cain is only 24 and is a legit Cy Young candidate.”

“Fiiiiiiine…whatever, douche. Give me Madison Bumgarner then.”

“He’s our top pitching prospect! Seriously Mark, are you freaking sauced right now? And did you just call me a douche?”

“Tim Lincecum, Pablo Sandoval and Jonathan Sanchez….Sanchez can be the throw in.”

“Sober up, Mark.”