A schizophrenic take on the Giants signing Manny Ramirez

Since the Denver Post reported that the San Francisco Giants were interested in signing free agent Manny Ramirez, I’ve been battling with myself on a daily basis on whether or not they should go through with acquiring the dreaded one.

So here is what’s been going on in my head lately. (Scary thought, I know.)

Me: With their pitching staff, the Giants would be instant contenders in a weak NL West if they signed Manny.

Me: The Giants already had a dysfunctional left fielder that could hit but couldn’t field. Remember?

Me: I know, but it’s Manny! The guy is still one of the best hitters in the league and the Giants need offense like Ally Mcbeal needs a sandwich!

Me: That’s your pop culture reference? Ally freaking Mcbeal? That’s pretty weak.

Me: I couldn’t think of anything else.

Me: If they sign Manny, what do they do with Fred Lewis? He finally had a breakthrough season last year and if the Giants signed Manny, there would be no room for him considering Randy Winn (a .300 hitter with good range in the outfield) and Aaron Rowand (big contract) are already taking up space in the outfield. Manny plays the one position the Giants already have depth at – corner outfield.

Me: True. And I do like Lewis. But considering Manny, Winn and Rowand are all in their 30s, Freddie would get a fair amount of at bats.

Me: This is how you rebuild? By giving your younger players “a fair amount of at bats”?

Me: Yeah but it’s Manny! His mere presence in the lineup would make Winn, Rowand, Bengie Molina and Pablo Sandoval better!

Me: He would turn the clubhouse upside down and eventually cause friction.

Me: I…don’t…care. I’m tired of seeing this team score three runs (on a good night) a night and it would severely weaken the Dodgers.

Me: That’s true – it would stick it to those bastard Dodgers.

Me: Yes! And hey, we’re not talking about a long-term deal here. Brian Sabean could sign Manny to a two-year deal with a club option for a third season and then we could part ways before he hits 40.

Me: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense! Okay, yeah! Yeah – sign Manny to a two-year deal Sabean!

Me: Of course, Sabean probably wouldn’t sign him to just a two-year deal. He would probably give him Barry Zito-type money and a Barry Zito-type length of contract. Manny would be a Giant well into his 40s.

Me: F’n Sabean! That ass clown has been living off the Jeff Kent trade for years!

Me: Maybe they should just stay away from Manny.

Me: Maybe.

Me: Or maybe…

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