Man goes to the batting cage in Florida. An employee, for some reason, told him to go and pick up the balls after the light had gone off and the pitches were complete. Randomly, the machine spit out a 60 mph pitch that drilled this man in the nuts. He was hospitalized a few days later.

Eventually, 19-year-old Lhyvann Felipe sued, and was awarded $1.2 million ($160,000 for his medical expenses, and the rest for pain and suffering). When you factor in the lawyer fees and taxes, though, he’s probably only walking away with $500,000. The Miami Herald should get in touch with this guy in three years to see if he invested this wisely or blew it on hookers and partying.

We’re taking the afternoon off to go to the batting cage.

This is one of those situations that you joke about with your buddies. “Hey man, if I pay you $500,000, would you take a shot to the nuts at the batting cages?”