Did I really just see Clay Aiken doling out advice to Brett Favre on Monday Night Football’s halftime show?
I mean, I’d swear Aiken and Jimmy Kimmel were just analyzing Favre’s slump and reviewing proper throwing mechanics.
And then I watched Aiken throw the ball like my wife. On national TV.
No, I had to be hallucinating…. Right?
Heading into the season, there were some who insisted that Peyton Manning should be the top overall choice in fantasy football. Coming off his record-setting 49-TD performance, that argument certainly carried at least some validity. Even if Manning failed to match last season’s remarkable numbers, 40-45 touchdowns seemed like a virtual lock.
Fast forward to week three of the NFL season and, if you happened to choose Manning over LaDainian Tomlinson or even Shaun Alexander in your draft, you’re likely looking for the nearest ledge to jump from. Going up against a Cleveland defense that allowed Brett Favre to throw for 342 yards and three touchdowns a week after Carson Palmer totaled 280 yards and two scores, Manning failed to throw for a TD for the second game in a row this week. In comparison, Manning threw for at least two touchdowns in all but two games last season: a week 15 win against Baltimore (one TD), and a 33-14 loss to Denver in the final game of the year, in which Manning only attempted two passes before resting up for the playoffs.
So is it time to panic? In a word, no. Manning could still lead the league in touchdown passes by the end of the year, after ripping off a few five-TD performances in the next 13 games. But while there was little chance of him repeating his record-breaking campaign from last season, the 40-45 TDs that just a month ago seemed like a virtual lock now appear to be a long shot. Manning would have to average 2.92 TDs per game going forward to hit 40 by the end of the year, which would nearly match his 3.06 per-game output from last season. When you consider he threw for 26, 27 and 29 TDs in the three years leading up to last season, Manning now looks destined for 30-35 touchdowns, which are still good numbers but hardly worthy of the top pick in the draft, or even a selection in the top-five.
HEADLINERS
Daunte Culpepper: 300 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT; 36 rushing yards
Speaking of ledges, all Culpepper owners can now step down from theirs. The best part about Culpepper’s line against the Saints is the absence of any turnovers. The loss of Nate Burleson, who may be out for another week or two with a knee injury, certainly is cause for concern but the best news for Culpepper this week may have been the emergence of RB Mewelde Moore, who started for the ineffective Michael Bennett and ran for 101 yards on 23 carries. If Moore, an excellent runner and receiver out of the backfield, continues to start and produce, the Vikings offense, and Culpepper, should rebound nicely.
ALSO: Drew Bledsoe (363 yards, 2 TD, 2 INT; 1 rushing TD), Donovan McNabb (365 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT), Kerry Collins (345 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT)
Shaun Alexander: 22 carries, 140 yards, 4 TD
LaDainian Tomlinson: 21 carries, 192 yards, 3 TD; 6 catches, 28 yards; 1 passing TD
Remember when Alexander only ran for 73 yards in the opener against the Jaguars? Nervous owners nationwide were wondering if they should deal the Seattle back. I wish someone would’ve offered Alexander to me after that week-one performance, especially in the leagues that Alexander single-handedly beat me this week. Coming off a great performance last season and playing in a contract year, Alexander should be the second-best back in fantasy land this season, and may challenge LaDainian Tomlinson for the overall title by the end of the year.
Then again, maybe not. Football fans across the country wondered what the Chargers were thinking. After their miraculous playoff run last season, the Bolts were 0-2 and their star back had only gotten 19 carries in each of those two losses, topping out at 72 rushing yards in week one. Even more puzzling, Tomlinson failed to record a single reception in either game, and we’re talking about a guy who caught 100 balls just two years ago. Then the Chargers beat up on the Giants on national TV Sunday night and LT got off, ripping off a 62-yarder to cap off his night. All apparently is right in San Diego again.
ALSO: Brian Westbrook (13 carries, 68 yards, 1 TD; 6 catches, 140 yards, 1 TD), Willis McGahee (27 carries, 140 yards, 1 TD), Ronnie Brown (23 carries, 132 yards, 1 TD), Cadillac Williams (37 carries, 158 yards, 0 TD)
Steve Smith: 11 catches, 170 yards, 3 TD
Any questions about Smith’s ability to return from last year’s season-ending injury? Smith tied franchise records with his 11 catches and three touchdown receptions and should continue to produce like a quality #1 fantasy receiver this season, especially if Carolina keeps falling behind early.
ALSO: Brandon Lloyd (4 catches, 142 yards, 2 TD), Torry Holt (9 catches, 163 TD, 1 TD), Hines Ward (4 catches, 110 yards, 2 TD)
FLATLINERS
Matt Hasselbeck: 242 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT
Hasselbeck’s numbers weren’t ugly (check out Chad Pennington’s line below for that), and the Seahawks aren’t complaining after thumping the Cardinals 37-12, but fantasy owners (like me) expected big things from the Seattle quarterback against a weak Arizona team. Instead, Hasselbeck moved the ball effectively (20 for 31) but Shaun Alexander got all the scoring glory.
ALSO: Chad Pennington (76 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT), Aaron Brooks (199 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT), Brett Favre (195 yards, 2 TD, 3 INT), Kyle Orton (149 yards, 0 TD, 5 INT)
Willie Parker: 17 carries, 55 yards, 0 TD
Somebody finally slowed Fast Willie down. The general feeling coming out of last week’s solid performance was Parker had become a must-start in most situations, depending on who your other backs were, but this outing against the Patriots proves that Parker still isn’t a sure thing, at least not against top defenses. The return of Duce Staley should have Parker owners somewhat concerned, even if Staley didn’t log a single carry Sunday. Still, Jerome Bettis may be back after Pittsburgh’s bye next week, which would leave the Steelers backfield looking awfully crowded. If you’re nervous, now may not be a bad time to start shopping Parker while his value is sky high. Just be warned that the Steelers may very well stick with the younger, faster and fresher Parker for the rest of the season.
ALSO: Stephen Davis (16 carries, 36 yards, 0 TD), Steven Jackson (12 carries, 48 yards, 0 TD), Ahman Green (19 carries, 58 yards, 0 TD)
Joe Horn: 1 catch, 11 yards
Donte Stallworth: 0 catches
Horn’s poor showing is nothing to be concerned about and should be attributed more to Aaron Brooks’ struggles against the Vikings than anything else. Stallworth’s donut, on the other hand, is certainly noteworthy coming off his monster eight-catch, 141-yard performance against the Giants last week. Criticized for his maddening inconsistency and spurned by most fantasy owners for the same reason despite his undeniable talent, Stallworth looked like he may have turned the corner last week in the second game of his fourth NFL season. Instead, he now looks like the same guy: a risky fantasy option who can’t be counted on for anything more than the occasional tease game.
ALSO: T.J. Houshmandzadeh (2 catches, 13 yards), Laveranues Coles (4 catches, 17 yards), Larry Fitzgerald (3 catches, 41 yards), Jerry Porter (5 catches, 40 yards)
Last week’s picks:
START
Carson Palmer – 337 yards passing, 3 TDs, 1 INT
Ahman Green – 99 total yards
Eddie Kennison – 4 rec., 52 yards
BENCH
Chad Pennington – 190 yards passing, 2 TDs
Carnell Williams – 128 yards, 1 TD
Eric Moulds – 1 catch, 8 yards
Lee Evans – 2 catches, 12 yards
Palmer and Williams are looking like every week starters, unless you have tremendous QB or RB depth. Kennison seems like a questionable start (in a 2 WR lineup) until the KC passing game gets back on track. Moulds and Evans should be benched when they face a strong defense.
On to this week’s picks:
START
QB – Brian Griese
Unless you have a stud at this position, Griese should be a nice play this week. He faces a weak Green Bay pass defense that yielded 336 yards and 3 TDs to the Browns.
RB – Willis McGahee
Owners may be shying away from starting McGahee, who had awful numbers against a stout Tampa Bay defense last week. This week, he faces a looser Atlanta defense that gave up 144 yards rushing to Shaun Alexander last week.
WR – Donte Stallworth
Stallworth had an excellent game against the Giants on Monday night and this week he faces a porous Vikings defense. The questionable Saints defense is just what the doctor ordered for Culpepper, so this one should be a high scoring affair, leading to more opportunities for Stallworth.
BENCH
QB – Michael Vick
He’s already listed as questionable, but Vick should be benched this week if you have any other decent options at QB. Atlanta plays Buffalo, so it should be a tough game for the Atlanta offense.
RB – Ahman Green
The Packer offense looks bad and Green, while running pretty well, hasn’t been a huge part of the team’s game plan. This week, the Packers face the Buccaneers, who are playing some of the best defense in the league.
WR – Robert Ferguson
Over the course of a season, Ferguson should step into the #2 WR role in GB and put up solid fantasy numbers, but it would be a good idea to bench him this week against Tampa Bay.
KEY INJURIES
Brandon Lloyd – P
Bubba Franks – Q
Byron Leftwich – Q
Chris Brown – Q
Curtis Martin – Q
David Akers – Q
Donovan McNabb – Q
Drew Bennett – Q
Duce Staley – Q
Eric Johnson – D
Greg Lewis – P
Jay Feely – Q
Jerome Bettis – D
Lee Suggs – Q
Michael Vick – Q
Mike Anderson – P
Nate Burleson – D
Ronald Curry – O
Stephen Davis – Q
Tatum Bell – Q
Terrell Owens – P
Tom Brady – P
Rafael Palmeiro doesn’t know it, but he just ended his baseball career.
During a conversation with an arbitration panel, Palmeiro fingered a teammate as the source of a substance that may have triggered his positive test for steroids. I can’t even begin to explain what a bad idea this was. If this were the Mafia, Raffy the Rat would get whacked.
There is no question that Palmeiro is embarrassed, and likely harbors resentment for the teammate who let him down. But you don’t break the code, man. If you get caught cheating, you do your time and keep your mouth shut. Raffy, of all people, should know this. After all, his Cub teammates kept their mouths shut while he was banging Ryne Sandberg’s wife, so the story goes.
While he didn’t go out and say that the substance he obtained is directly responsible for his positive steroid test, he’s clearly trying to lay the groundwork for his defense that he’s an honest guy who trusted a dishonest person. But it’s a little late for that story. Had he kept his mouth shut, and taken his lumps, he would still have been accepted by the other players in the clubhouse, if not by the fans. By ratting out one of his teammates, he guaranteed that no one will ever want to play with him again.
Perhaps the most curious part of all is: who is this mysterious teammate? Conventional wisdom would suggest Sammy Sosa, but I honestly can’t imagine that Sosa would ever risk getting caught with any of that stuff, not after already suffering through a corked bat scandal, which many speculate was a result of no longer using steroids. So who is it, then? Is it a starter? What would the ramifications be if it turned out to be a stud like Miguel Tejada? Just how deep, and how widespread, is the steroids issue?
There was talk that Palmeiro planned to play the final week of the season. To that I say, Raffy, do yourself and the rest of the Orioles organization a huge favor and stay home. You don’t even want to know what’s waiting for you, and quite frankly, your teammates, even the one who gave you the juice, deserve better than that. And based on recent developments, the interim skipper for the O’s agrees. It’s sage advice, Raffy. I’d consider it.
I wrote a column for Bullz-Eye.com in April of 2004 defending Archie Manning’s decision to tell the San Diego Chargers to not draft his son Eli with the first overall pick in the draft:
“Coming out of Ole Miss, Archie Manning was destined for superstardom. But because the Saints failed to surround him with quality talent, he fell well short of those early expectations. Playing in the NFL is a dream come true for anybody who actually makes it, but looking back on his career you can bet Manning recognizes everything that those years in New Orleans cost him.
So why wouldn’t Archie want to spare Eli that same fate with another abysmal franchise like the Chargers? As a parent, don’t we want our children to benefit from our own mistakes and misfortunes rather than repeat them?
It’s simple: In San Diego, Eli could’ve become the next Archie Manning; in New York, he could be the next Peyton Manning.”
Man, did I take a beating from Chargers fans. Not right after I wrote the column, though. No, San Diego fans decided to bombard my inbox with hate mail after the Chargers made the playoffs. They cleverly called Manning “She-li” and asked if I thought Archie would rather have his son playing in San Diego now. And then they called me names. A whole bunch of names. None of them as witty as She-li, but they came up with some doosies.
My response at the time was, let’s see where the Chargers and Giants are in a couple of years. The Bolts were coming off a Cinderella season that ended with them making a surprise appearance in the playoffs. Of course, the way these San Diego fans made it sound, they all expected Drew Brees to lead their team to the postseason whereas everyone else expected a repeat of 2003’s 4-12 performance. And obviously, they expected continued success for their team and sustained failure for Eli and the Giants.
I originally said to wait a couple of years before comparing the progress of Eli to that of the Chargers franchise, but maybe we only had to wait a few months. The Giants travel to San Diego this Sunday, a game that’ll be televised nationwide on ESPN at 8:30. Chargers fans are going to be all over Eli. It’s gonna be ugly. And he, rightfully so, expects it to be. This is the moment Bolts fans have been waiting for since last year’s draft, the chance to prove to the prima-donna She-li and his cry-baby daddy that they made a mistake.
The only problem is, the Giants are 2-0 and the Chargers are 0-2.
Plus, while Manning is still developing as a QB, the Giants look to have one of the better teams in the NFC. Tiki Barber has picked up right where he left off last year, the defense looks solid, Manning has been finding Jeremy Shockey and newcomer Plaxico Burress downfield, and they’re well-coached by Tom Coughlin. As for the Chargers, they lost two tough games to the Cowboys and Broncos by a total of seven points, they haven’t found a groove offensively, and you can bet they liked their 4-12 schedule more than their 12-4 schedule — the Patriots, Steelers, Raiders, Eagles, Chiefs, Jets and Bills await in the seven games following Sunday’s match-up with the G-men.
It still may be too early to predict how this one will end up, but from the looks of things right now, I’d say I won’t be getting any hate mail from Chargers fans anytime soon.
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