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Johnson to land on PUP list?

Just when fantasy owners get good news Larry Johnson will strike a deal that would end his holdout, Chiefs owner Carl Peterson told ESPN that his star player might end up on the PUP list to start the season. Peterson also noted that no deal with Johnson is imminent, which once again is fantastic news for fantasy owners.

To clarify about the physically-unable-to-perform list, if the Chiefs place Johnson on the PUP list, he won’t be able to practice or play in any preseason games before the start of the regular season. If KC activates him from the PUP list before the start of the season, he’ll be eligible to play in Week 1. However, if they don’t active him, he won’t be eligible to play until after Week 6.

After watching the Kolby Smith and Michael Bennett rush for a combined 11 yards on 14 carries in the Chiefs’ 11-10 loss to the Dolphins Thursday night, Peterson better get his act together and just pay Johnson already. Seriously, what’s the holdup?

Admit to steroids – get off clean

MLB Commissioner and total nimrod Bud Selig announced he wouldn’t hand out any punishment to Jason Giambi since the Yankee fully cooperated with Senator George Mitchell’s investigation of steroids in baseball.

So apparently as long as you admit to doing something wrong, you won’t face punishment. Wish that method worked for me back in middle school when I used to change my grades on my report card (sorry again mom).

It’s nice to award a guy for coming clean, but that doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. Maybe this is why the game of baseball continues to be in complete shambles. Seriously Selig, you’ve known there’s been a problem in your league for years, yet continue to do nothing to clean up the situation, including punish a guy for actually admitting he cheated. Hey, I guess if there’s money to be made off guys cheating and hitting long home runs, it’s okay if players juice, right?

Bud the Slug couldn’t run a cub scouts group, nevertheless Major League Baseball.

#%@&#$* Yankees!

Man, I love The Onion.

BOSTON—Moments after the New York Yankees continued a month-long stretch that has seen them climb from the bottom of the AL East to pull within a once unfathomable four games of the first-place Red Sox by defeating the Baltimore Orioles Monday night, stunned and enraged baseball fans across America took a moment to shake their heads in disbelief and curse dejectedly at the relentless inevitability of Yankee glory.

“Fucking Yankees,” said Marshfield, MA resident and longtime Red Sox fan Lawrence Broberg, echoing the sentiments of thousands of men and woman across the nation. “Every year. Every goddamn year.”

The Yankees, coming off a decisive three-game sweep of the Central-leading Indians, have won nine out of their last 10 games, catapulting them to the top of the wild-card standings, restoring the team’s infuriating confidence, and instilling a sinking sense of impending misery among all non-Yankee fans.

“It’s like they can’t lose,” said Connecticut resident Gerry DiCenzo, who could only watch helplessly as the Yankees overcame a late Orioles rally to win their fourth straight. “They literally cannot lose. Suddenly no one can beat the Yankees. The Red Sox suck. The Orioles suck. Everyone sucks. Everyone suddenly sucks when they play the Yankees.”

Click here to laugh some more.

The dumbest gym owner in the world

Everyone who follows the NBA knows that Ray Allen is a standup guy. He is consistently lauded for his work in the community and has acted as a diplomat for the league. David Stern often speaks fondly of his work. So when a story breaks about a suburban-Hartford fitness club owner confronting Allen after a workout, it raises a few eyebrows.

Allen was given a guest pass to work out at WOW Fitness in Cromwell a few weeks ago and said he was given the OK to continue working out for free. Allen said he offered to pay for a membership several times but was told it wasn’t necessary. He had been there about eight times and one employee approached him about possibly linking up with the owner for a business deal that could bring more members to the club.

Good move. It was something Ray said he didn’t commit to, but was open to, because as a longtime community-oriented guy he envisioned new Celtics teammates Kevin Garnett and Glen “Big Baby” Davis along with Paul Pierce working out with him at times in the state.

Allen had ended his workout and was sitting down having his customary protein shake when he noticed a man he assumed was the owner – Lou Soteriou – having a back-and-forth with employees.

“I got up and walked back there and when I walked around the corner he was standing there waiting for me with this look of disgust on his face like I stole some money from him,” Allen said. “I extended my hand to him to say, `How ya doin’. I’m Ray. Nice to meet you.’ And he just had his hand on his hip. He didn’t even offer to shake my hand. `Did I do something to offend you?’ because I wasn’t trying to take any money from him. I didn’t take any money from him. So he goes on this rant about who gave you a pass to come in here. So I said, `One of your employees gave me the pass. I’m a guest.

“He said, `Why don’t you just buy a membership like everybody else? I have a business here to run. I don’t give any free handouts. I have a business to run here.’ … He was yelling at me like I was one of his kids or something, but once he said that he walked out the office, just walked away from me. I said, `I’ll never come in your gym again.’ He was like, `Don’t come back.'”

This looks like a case of the manager having more business sense than the owner. I don’t think that professional athletes should get everything for free, but in a situation like this, a business can make a lot of money by giving a guy like Ray Allen a free membership and making it known that he works out at their facility. Celtic (and UConn) fans in the area would flock to the gym just so that they could tell their buddies that they work out where Ray-Ray works out. One free membership could turn into a hundred or more paid memberships.

Soteriou certainly has a right to be upset if Allen comes in and demands a free pass, but that wasn’t the case here. Maybe Soteriou had a misunderstanding with his manager, or maybe he was just having a bad day, but the decision to kick Allen out of his gym was not a good one.

So next time one of your buddies flies off the handle without thinking, tell him he just “pulled a Soteriou.”

5,000 yards for Kitna this season? Come on Kirwan!

Check out the crap NFL.com’s Pat Kirwan is slinging out these days:

“After watching their three- and four-wideout packages with Roy Williams, Calvin Johnson, Mike Furrey and Shaun McDonald, the one thing that looked clear to me is (Jon) Kitna is on his way to a 5,000-yard season.”

Now, mind you, only one other quarterback has passed for over 5,000 yards and Kitna is no Dan Marino, who threw for 5, 084 yards in 1984.

Everybody is geeked about the Lions offense this year and it’s hard not to with the combination of Mike Martz, Roy Williams and Calvin Johnson. However, will Tatum Bell be successful without Alex Gibbs’ zone block system? If Detroit can’t run the ball, defenses will just key on the pass and no team can be successful one-dimensional. Plus, will the offense line give Kitna a millisecond to even get the ball off?

I agree with Kirwan’s assessment that the Lions will be behind in many games this year, forcing them to pass a lot, but the prediction of Kitna passing for 5,000 yards is a bit much.

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