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      Top 11 continuing telecast mysteries

      December 1, 2008 /

      Epic Carnival put together a list of telecast mysteries…

      11. Is there ever a case where a quarterback throws a ball away that can be criticized?

      10. When did the word “athletic” develop a fourth vowel and syllable?

      7. Is there any living creature that thinks the artificial yellow first down line *is* official?

      6. Are there really people who are expecting to watch “60 Minutes” at 7pm EST during football season?

      1. When a team is losing, why is the only player who merits a reaction shot the losing team’s quarterback?

      Check out the list and let me know if you have any mysteries to add.

      NFL, Television

      Boner of the Week: Plaxico Burress

      December 1, 2008 /

      I wanted to wait until (most of) the facts were in before giving Plaxico Burress this prestigious award.

      For those that have been living under a rock for the past few days, Burress accidentally shot himself in the leg with an unregistered hand gun while at a Manhattan night club.

      ESPN legal analyst Roger Cossack reported that Burress could face up to seven years in prison if convicted on the felony charge of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit.

      Burress had a concealed-weapon permit issued to him in Florida but records show it expired in May and New York does not recognize out-of-state permits anyway, New York media have reported.

      Mayor Michael Bloomberg called for a full prosecution of state law that requires mandatory prison for carrying a loaded handgun.

      “I don’t think anybody should be exempt from that, and I think it would be an outrage if we didn’t prosecute to the fullest extent of the law, particularly people who live in the public domain, make their living because of their visibility — they’re the role models for our kids,” Bloomberg said.

      Brandon Jacobs added this brilliant analysis:

      “I called him and made a few jokes about the situation and his laugh is what I wanted to hear,” Jacobs said, according to Newsday. “If he didn’t laugh I knew he was going to be down, which he shouldn’t be down. It’s a mistake that happened, something that shouldn’t have happened and that’s that.”

      Burress “shouldn’t be down”? “It’s a mistake that happened”?

      On second thought, maybe Jacobs’ deserves this award. Mistakes just don’t randomly happen. People make mistakes. Accidents happen. Burress made the mistake of carrying an unregistered, concealed weapon around the streets of New York, which has the toughest unlicensed weapon laws in the country. When he shot himself in the leg – now that was an accident.

      I don’t know why Burress was at a night club anyway. He has a leg injury, yet he has the mobility and is healthy enough to party into the wee hours of the morning? The Giants are paying him $35 million over five years to play wide receiver, yet the guy endangers his career by carrying an unlicensed, concealed weapon around New York City.

      For this, he wins the Boner of the Week award. Congratulations, Plaxico.

      Humor, NFL

      Stephon Marbury is an idiot

      December 1, 2008 /

      I realize that most of us already knew this, but Stephon Marbury confirmed on Monday that he is an utter moron.

      “When things got bad and then worse, guys like Quentin Richardson say, ‘I don’t consider him a teammate. He let his teammates out to dry.’ He didn’t care I was his teammate when I was banished. They left me out for dead. It’s like we’re in a foxhole and I’m facing the other way. If I got shot in the head, at least you want to get shot by the enemy. I got shot in the head by my own guys in my foxhole. And they didn’t even give me an honorable death.”

      I am not going to criticize Marbury for lashing out as his teammates or the organization. The Knicks are as culpable in this situation as Starbury is. (After all, they were the one that signed him in the first place.) But it’s completely inappropriate for Marbury to invoke images of soldiers shooting each other in a foxhole when this country is fighting two wars.

      This might be worse than Kellen Winslow’s ‘I am a soldier’ tirade. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Marbury hasn’t spent any time in the armed forces. Thus far, he has earned $130,275,320 in his career and stands to make another $21,937,500 this season. In fact, the Knicks are considering giving him most of that salary just to go away.

      Conversely, the salary range for enlisted soldiers is $15,276 to $67,104.

      Athletes, please stop comparing yourselves to soldiers. You aren’t soldiers. There aren’t any bullets whizzing by your heads and you aren’t putting your lives on the line. You get paid an enormous amount of money to play a game, and you should show our veterans the proper respect. That starts with not using homicidal military comparisons when your teammates say something that you don’t like.

      I’m sorry, Stephon, but you, sir, are an idiot.

      NBA

      What would a college football playoff look like this year? (Part 3)

      December 1, 2008 /

      (Be sure to check out Part 1 and Part 2 of this series.)

      With Oklahoma vaulting ahead of Texas in the BCS standings, it is a clear reminder that the BCS system is horribly flawed. Each team has one loss and Texas beat Oklahoma on a neutral field. Texas’ only loss was to a good Texas Tech team on the road, and it shouldn’t outweigh the Longhorns’ win over the Sooners. Oklahoma did have two great non-conference wins (Cincinnati and TCU), while Texas didn’t really play anyone out of conference. Still, should a strong non-conference schedule outweigh Texas head-to-head win over Oklahoma? Apparently, USA Today and the computer rankings think so. (For their part, Harris Poll voters had Texas #3 and Oklahoma #4.)

      This brings me back to my proposed eight-team playoff that I introduced a couple of weeks ago. Here are the assumptions.

      1. There will be an eight-team playoff, with the six BCS-conference champs getting an automatic bid.

      2. If a conference champ is ranked lower than #15 in the rankings, they give up their automatic bid and it becomes an at-large bid. (This rule is to ensure that the regular season keeps its meaning and only the elite teams make the playoffs.)

      3. Seeds and at-large bids are distributed based on the current BCS standings. Certainly, these rankings can be tweaked, but they are fine for now. If an at-large team has a better BCS ranking than a conference champion, they will get a higher seed.

      4. There will be three rounds of playoffs. The first round will be held at the home stadium of the higher-seeded team. The semifinals and the final will rotate amongst the four BCS cities (Miami, Pasadena, Tempe and New Orleans).

      So how does this weekend’s action affect the playoff field?

      8-seed Cincinnati @ 1-seed Alabama
      A 30-10 win over Syracuse puts the Bearcats at #13. Cincy still has to beat Hawaii to stay playoff-eligible. Meanwhile, Alabama has a date with #4 Florida in the SEC Championship Game this Saturday.

      5-seed USC @ 4-seed Florida
      Since the Gators still have to play Alabama, this matchup probably won’t happen since Florida will likely move up or down in the BCS rankings depending on how they fare against the Crimson Tide. A bad loss to Alabama might knock the Gators out of the playoffs since the #7 and #8 seeds are conference champions, and Boston College might very well move into the playoffs with a win over Virginia Tech. If that were to happen, and USC were to leapfrog Florida, the Gators could very well miss the playoffs.

      6-seed Utah @ 3-seed Texas
      Utah remains the only non-BCS conference representative. With wins over #11 TCU and #18 BYU, they have the best resume of the three non-BCS schools in contention. (Boise St. and Ball St. are the other two.) The Utes need to root for a Virginia Tech win over Boston College.

      7-seed Penn St. @ 2-seed Oklahoma
      OU still has to beat Missouri in the Big 12 Championship Game to remain the 2-seed. If Alabama loses to Florida and the Sooners are convincing in their win over the Tigers, they could move up. They could also fall completely out of the playoffs with a loss to Missouri.

      Since Cincy moved into the BCS Top 15, they earned a berth in the playoffs. The lowest ranked at-large team – Texas Tech – were pushed out of the playoffs. #17 Boston College could conceivably move into the Top 15 with a win over #25 Virginia Tech in the ACC Championship Game, and in that case, Utah would likely be the team to be knocked out of the playoffs. (And that would be a shame.)

      Of the teams that are on the outside looking in, only #9 Boise St. and #12 Ball St. don’t have losses to teams that made the playoffs. #10 Ohio St. lost to USC and Penn St., #11 TCU lost to Oklahoma, and #14 Oklahoma St. lost to Texas and Oklahoma. So, despite what the anti-playoff crowd says, the regular season still matters with this playoff system.

      Since it looks like Boise St. and Ball St. will miss the playoffs, and a Boston College win might push Utah out, it might be interesting to have a four-team playoff amongst the best non-BCS teams to see who has the right to make the playoffs. Of course, this would add two games to the schedule and it might just be easier just to go to a 12-team field (though most of those extra slots could easily go to BCS schools like Texas Tech and Ohio St.)

      Check out Part 4 now.

      College Football, Television

      Are the Vikings who we thought they were?

      December 1, 2008 /

      Adrian PetersonBefore the season started, the addition of Jared Allen to the defensive line and then the continued development of quarterback Tarvaris Jackson had many NFL purists believing the Minnesota Vikings were the team to beat in the NFC North.

      But Jackson was replaced by the ageless wonder Gus Frerotte, the team lost three of its first four games and suddenly the Vikings were like many other annual chic picks in the NFL – overrated.

      Minnesota appears back on track, however, winning four of their last five games and seizing control in the NFC North by soundly beating the Bears 34-14 on Sunday Night Football. So the question is – were the purists right all along and the Vikes just needed time for things to fall into place?

      The Vikings have a couple of key elements that make them a sound football team. They can run the ball (Adrian Peterson was a beast in their win over the Bears) behind a solid offensive line, they can stop the run and Allen gives them a dominant pass-rush. They still have some issues stopping the pass and both of their defensive tackles could be suspended soon, but they’re clearly the best team in the weak North division at this point.

      Assuming Minnesota wins their division, the question now becomes – how far can they go? Peterson is such a weapon, but we saw Sunday night how much of a physical pounding his body takes because of how hard he runs. Frerotte has been a major upgrade over Jackson, but does his play have a ceiling? It’ll be interesting to see if not only the Vikes can wrap up the division, but also whether or not they can compete with the Panthers, Falcons, Cowboys or any other Wild Card team they would face in the first round.

      NFL

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