Tiger Woods apparently didn’t need to go to sex counseling; he could have just asked singer John Mayer to solve all his problems.

From the New York Daily News:

“Tiger Woods’ problems come from him being married. The end,” Mayer said to the U.K.’s The Independent newspaper. “If Tiger Woods was single and he texted a girl and said ‘I wanna wear your ass like a hat’, why would that ever hit the news?”

“I write a lot of dirty text messages to girls, and you’ve never seen any of them,” said Mayer, whose famous past girlfriends include Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson and Minka Kellly.

“Why? Because if a girl brought a dirty text message from me to the newspapers, they’d say ‘I don’t have an angle here. Someone wants to wear your ass like a hat? Big deal. He’s 32 years old. He’s a single guy. If John Mayer has a wife and sends dirty texts, then we got a story,” he explained.

First of all, I’d like to nominate Mayer’s “I wanna wear your ass like a hat” line as quote of the year. I know it’s only February, but I see that quote having staying power throughout 2010.

Secondly, I’m officially setting the over/under on total times Mayer has said that to a girl at 21.5. And this might be one of those times when you don’t over think it and you just go with the “over.”

Lastly, I couldn’t agree more with Mayer, although I wouldn’t have used the same terms as he did. How many times do sports fans say around the water cooler that Player X shouldn’t have gotten married during his playing days? That he should bang as many broads as he wants and then go get married when his career is over? I know I’ve said it a dozen times about athletes and that’s all Mayer is essentially saying himself. Woods’ is “problem” is that he was married and he was doing horrible things behind his wife’s back. That’s the real issue here – he’s a womanizer that was cheating on his wife.

And Mayer’s point about the media is right on, too. The media does look for angles in stories and love it when someone screws up. Tiger screwed up and the media was all over it. If Mayer did the same thing, it might be a story but it wouldn’t have staying power. (At least not like that fantastic quote of his above.)


Photo from fOTOGLIF