There’s a horrifying rumor making its way around the web that Johnny Damon could be heading to San Francisco now that his time in New York appears to be finished.

Now, some people might be thinking, “Hey, Damon can hit and the Giants need hitters sooooooooooooooo…it’s a perfect fit!”

But no. I mean seriously: No. (No.)

Johnny Damon and his chicken wing would be a horrible fit in San Francisco and if Giants GM Brian Sabean goes for this then he should be forced to give tours on Alcatraz for the rest of his life.

Sabean is notorious for overspending on the wrong players. Outside of a respectable 2009 campaign, Barry Zito and his mega-million dollar contract has been nothing short of a disaster. Aaron Rowand has been a great defender and a solid clubhouse guy, but he can’t hit and therefore, can’t live up to his contract either. Sabean is also the genius that overpaid for Edgar Renteria (yet another player that has no concept of a decent batting average) last winter.

Yeah, Damon can hit. He also has the worst arm in baseball and fails to reach the cutoff man on a consistent basis. He would no doubt cost the Giants’ pitching staff runs based on his shoddy fielding and there’s no guarantee that he would even produce as a hitter in spacious AT&T Park.

Hopefully this rumor is just that: A rumor. Damon belongs in the American League as a DH. He’s half a player in the NL and a quarter of a player in a pitcher’s ballpark. Maybe the Red Sox could use him as a piñata or something, but keep him out of San Fran.