The Sports Guy had a few random thoughts this week. Here are some highlights:
When ABC launches a game-show pilot called “Country Singer, Famous Assassin or Kick Returner?” the final question will definitely be, “Who is Johnnie Lee Higgins?”
What would have happened at a 2007 Arkansas tailgate if a blitzed Razorbacks fan offered everyone $100 at 50-to-1 odds that Peyton Hillis would finish with more 2008 fantasy points than both Darren McFadden and Felix Jones? And why do I have a feeling Jerry Jones made his billions in a similar way?
Has there ever been a football player listed as “questionable” more often than Brian Westbrook? Does this extend to other parts of his life? Can anyone rely on him? Do his buddies make plans to see a movie with him knowing that he’s questionable to show up? Does he send back wedding invitations checking both the “Yes, I Will Attend” and “No, I Will Not Attend?” boxes? What would it be like if he hosted a radio show? All right, that’s it for today’s show, I’ll see you tomorrow, or I might not. Why aren’t we calling him Brian “Mr. Questionable” Westbrook?
Not to be a party pooper, but with “The Ageless” Fred Taylor’s career winding down, somebody needs to assume “ageless” status in 2009. I vote for Warrick Dunn because his spin move is like Seth Rogen’s dice-roll dance move in “Knocked Up” — it’s effective the first few times until you realize it’s all he has — only Rogen landed Katherine Heigl’s character and Dunn keeps getting first downs. So there you go.
Hey, is there any way for the Chiefs to hypnotize Larry Johnson into thinking every short-yardage situation is really a crowded bar filled with the boyfriends of women who just resisted his advances?
Note to every lousy cornerback: If your guy has four steps on you for a sure TD, only the QB underthrows him to the degree that the guy has to put on the brakes, stop and jump for the ball, giving you time to reach him and deflect the pass … this doesn’t mean you’re allowed to dance around afterward while waving the “incomplete” signal with your arms, or as I like to call it, “The Deltha O’Neal Shuffle.” Just put your head down and run back to the huddle in shame. OK? OK.
Funny stuff.
