Job Post: Cleveland Browns quarterback.
Summary: Due to the unfortunate situations of losing both Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson to season-ending injuries the past two weeks and the fact that Roger Goodell won’t allow us to forfeit the rest of our games to get this dreadful season over with, we the Cleveland Browns are currently looking for a quarterback to insure us of four more losses in ’08.
Job Responsibilities: Turning around and handing the ball to Jamal Lewis; Throwing incomplete passes to Braylon Edwards (you just have to throw the ball in his direction and Edwards will take care of the rest; Watching the defense squander leads; Squandering leads yourself by providing costly turnovers.
Job Perks: A front row seat to whenever Kellen Winslow Jr. speaks; You can improvise without worrying about what Romeo Crennel will say to you because neither you nor him will be around next year; Weekly Profanity-lased e-mails from Phil Savage.
Please respond by Thursday so you can have at least one day of practice under your belt (that should be enough) before Sunday’s game.
Thank You,
The Cleveland Browns.
