THE LOVE OF SPORTS dedicates one of their latest columns to helping people interpret what their sports dreams mean.

My brother told me about this nightmare he had where Al Davis was chasing him while shouting weird phrases in Latin. He wakes up before he can catch him.
-Dan, CA

Well, there’s an important distinction you failed to mention in your description. Was he chasing him on foot or on a Segway? They mean two different things. If Davis was chasing your brother on foot it could simply mean he has a minor financial matter that’s troubling him. If he was chasing him on a Segway, however, there’s much cause for concern. Is there a history of ‘antichrist’ in your family? You might want to look into it.

I once had a dream I was Tim Kurkjian’s personal masseuse. Am I weird?
-B.

Yes.

I had a dream last night where I was trapped in a hot tub with these girls from Florida State University:

FSU Girls

Now take out the words “dream” and “was trapped” and replace them with “fantasy” and “wishing I was trapped” and you’ll have a more accurate sentence.