Kyle Slavin over at The Love of Sports outlines his ideas for turning around a NBA franchise.
Finally, if a player stays on our team for six years, we will completely remodel their house. Eight years, we will pay for one of their kids’ college education. Ten years, and we will name a concourse at the airport after them, and erect a statue in the players’ locker room entranceway. I don’t care if you are a benchwarmer, there must be a legitimate incentive for you to stay on our team, and reverence if you do. Remember the Lakers and Celtics battling for ten years in the 80’s? Well, that won’t happen again without a huge decline in turnover. It will result in better basketball, and more wholesome basketball players. Besides, if Adonal Foyle got to walk past a giant bronze Adonal Foyle before each home game for the Warriors, I guarantee you he would have played better.
I don’t know why, but the thought of an Adonal Foyle bronze statue just makes me laugh.
One thing I’d add – every so often, have an “Adult Night.” NBA dance teams are basically glorified strippers, so why not let them strip? On Friday and/or Saturday night games, only adults can come to the game. The dance team would start off in their usual gear, but as the night wears on, they would change into skimpier and skimpier outfits. By the last “performance,” they’d be topless. I guarantee you, every “Adult Night” would sell out and the opposing team would be too distracted to play well. It would be a hit! (Though I don’t think David Stern would approve.)
