Here’s a shocker: No team wants to touch Barry Bonds. According to Bonds’ agent Jeff Borris, his client’s services were offered to all 30 MLB teams and no club jumped on the opportunity to sign him.

“I offered Barry at the minimum salary, and when I ran into a brick wall, that’s when I came to the conclusion that he will not be in a major league uniform in 2008,” said Borris, in New York for the All-Star Game.

“I’m not a negative person. I’m one of those ‘never say never’ guys,” Borris added. “But it seems pretty clear to me that it’s just not happening. We could go up and down the rosters of every single team and I could show you an awful lot of spots where he ought to be plugged in right now, but it’s just not happening.”

“If everything were fair and equal in the world, Barry should get a fair market value offer,” he said. “But since everything is not fair and equal, I decided to offer him for the minimum. I thought for sure there would be a taker, and there were none. If that doesn’t raise the level of suspicion, I don’t know what does.”

Bonds’ name has come up periodically in speculation in recent months, with the Seattle Mariners, Arizona Diamondbacks, New York Mets and Boston Red Sox mentioned as potential landing spots. But none of the clubs linked to Bonds has come close to taking the plunge.

Good for MLB teams. No club should touch this guy given the perjury changes he faces and what he could potentially do to a clubhouse. And I’m not just talking about his attitude – the media circus that surrounds him would be a distraction for any contending club. Still though, it’s still a little surprising that no team in the AL would love to place Bonds in a DH role.

A Bonds-free 2008 is just what baseball – and their fans – needed.