Man, I love The Onion.
CHICAGO—Just days after beating long odds in the NBA Draft Lottery by winning the 2008 draft’s first pick, the Chicago Bulls shocked the basketball world by announcing that they would trade their prize in on yet more NBA lottery tickets.
“This is pretty good, this No. 1 pick, it’s true,” Bulls general manager John Paxson told reporters while watching pre-draft workouts at the United Center. “We could probably get a pretty good player. But you see, if we cash it in and play the NBA Draft Lottery some more, we have a chance to win, like, the whole draft. Our team can’t afford to pass up a chance like that.”
“I hear these people second-guessing our decision to re-invest the top pick,” team owner Jerry Reinsdorf said Monday, “and it reminds me of 1984, when everyone wanted Hakeem Olajuwon or Sam Bowie and we wound up with a player you might have heard of named Michael Jordan. Well, just think of the entire 2008 Draft as the second coming of Michael Jordan.”
The Bulls front office was immediately inundated with phone calls, letters, and e-mails from fans insisting that the entire 2008 class, though certainly good, was no Michael Jordan.
