Remember the days when the “mad scientist� Mike Martz called the plays in St. Louis and the Rams scored at will against opponents? Well, they’re light years from resembling that offense again.

When Steve Spagnuolo was hired in January to be the Rams’ next head coach, he appointed former Eagles’ QB coach Pat Shurmur to run his offense. And if the first two games of the ’09 season are any indication of how St. Louis will fair offensively this season, then this team will be lucky to average 10 points a game this year.

I realize it’s early, but the Rams’ offense already looks pathetic. A week after being shut out in Seattle, St. Louis mustered only a touchdown in a 9-7 loss to the Redskins on Sunday.

The Rams had a golden opportunity to move the chains through the air against a Washington team that inactivated cornerbacks Fred Smoot and Kevin Barnes before the game and therefore, the Skins only had four active cornerbacks. Washington was sold out to stop Steven Jackson in the running game and despite facing a passive Washington defensive backfield, Marc Bulger threw for only 123 yards and a 4.4 YPA average. That’s brutal – rookies post those kinds of numbers in their first games.

Granted, neither Shurmur nor Bulger can do anything about receiver Donnie Avery fumbling in the red zone, and they couldn’t help that center Jason Brown and left tackle Jason Smith left the game at various times with injuries. Plus, it always takes players two to three years to learn the West Coast Offense.

But the bottom line is that the Rams have seven points in eight quarters and that’s just not going to cut it, especially for a team that expected to play harder under Spagnuolo.

Check out all of our 2009 NFL team previews.

Offseason Additions: Jason Brown (C); James Butler (CB); Kyle Boller (QB); Billy Bajema (TE).

Offseason Losses: Torry Holt (WR); Orlando Pace (OT); Pisa Tinoisamoa (LB); Nick Leckey (C); Anthony Becht (TE); Fakhir Brown (CB); Jason Craft (CB); Dane Looker (WR); Brett Romberg (C).

Player to Watch: Laurent Robinson, WR.
The Rams acquired the former third round pick from Atlanta this offseason and thus far, he has impressed. He’s already solidified the No. 2 receiver position across from Donnie Avery and could emerge as the Rams’ top playmaker in their passing game. At 6’2, 194-pounds, Robinson has excellent size, speed and has demonstrated this summer that he can catch the ball in traffic. Injuries forced him out of Atlanta, but he’s making a name for himself in St. Louis and could become a household name by the end of the season.

Team Strength: In the past three years, the Rams have invested two first round picks in their defensive line and with the guidance of former Giants’ defensive guru Steve Spagnuolo, the unit could become a strength this season. Of course, that will depend on whether or not former second overall pick Chris Long can take the next step in his development and if former ’07 first round pick Adam Carriker can stay healthy. Defensive ends tend take a couple years to develop, but Long has the drive and tenacity to inevitably succeed. Although he’s getting long in the tooth, Leonard Little still brings plenty to the table as a pass rusher and could help free up Long to make plays on the other side. Assuming Carriker and Little can stay healthy and Long blossoms in his second year, the D-line could be one of the few positives for the Rams this season.

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Mike Tanier of the New York Times must have been hitting the sauce the past couple days, because he’s suggesting that the Rams will be one of the NFL’s surprise teams in 2009.

It turns out that Spagnuolo isn’t the only reason for optimism in St. Louis. Many statistical indicators suggest that the Rams are close to rising again. One is their fumble recovery percentage: the Rams forced 17 fumbles last year but recovered just 5, a sign that with better luck and a dose of Spagnuolo’s coaching, their defense will create a few more turnovers.

The Rams were one of the worst teams in the league in red zone running, and it takes only a slight improvement in that area to make a big difference on the scoreboard. The Rams lost many of their starters to injuries in 2008 and can get better just by getting healthier.

One other major factor works in the Rams’ favor: their division. The Seahawks are rebuilding. The 49ers haven’t had a winning season since 2002. The Cardinals won the conference, but they are no powerhouse. With a few slight improvements, the Rams could easily go 4-2 or 5-1 against the N.F.C. West. Those wins alone would give them their best record in three years!

I like the direction of this team under Spagnuolo more than I do Scott Linehan, but this is still a bad football team, even in a weak division.

Steven Jackson is a beast, but the Rams’ offensive line is brutal (remember that Jason Smith hasn’t taken a snap in the NFL yet) and Marc Bulger checked out years ago. He plays with zero passion and even if he were into the games, the offensive line will get him stomped anyway. The defense has some nice young pieces to build around in Chris Long, Ron Bartell, Adam Carriker and James Laurinaitis, but there are still a ton of holes on that side of the ball, too.

Will the Rams be improved in ’09? Maybe. Will they be a sleeper? Pass me whatever Tainer is drinking and I’ll let you know.

I’m going to channel my inner Peter King and dole out a crap load of quick-hit thoughts on last weekend’s NFL draft, which by the way, was one of the more unpredictable drafts I have ever witnessed.

Below are 65 observations from the 2009 NFL Draft. Why 65? I don’t know – don’t worry about it. Originally I came up with 62, but I know that some people freak out when things aren’t in round numbers, so I added three more. But the number 65 means nothing, so don’t waste time searching for its meaning.

Obviously these are all my opinions and feel free to debate them. But before you do, I already know that it supposedly takes three seasons to fully grade a draft and that no prospect is a sure thing. Again, I’m projecting here – so lighten up and let’s strike up some good debates.

1. Outside of the fact that he’s now a millionaire and could buy a small country, I kind of feel bad for Matthew Stafford. You know some halfwit fan or media member can’t wait to utter the comment, “For $72 million, he should have made that pass.� I hate the fact that money plays such a huge role in sports because when you get down to it, completing a pass, making a catch or kicking a field goal has nothing to do with how many zeros are on your paycheck.

2. I know I’m not saying anything new here, but the rookie salary structure is a joke. When teams don’t even want a top 5 pick anymore because of the financial burden that comes with it, there’s a huge problem.

3. The kid could turn out to be the next Ryan Leaf on the field, but Lion fans have to at least take comfort in the fact that Matthew Stafford is saying all the right things at this point. He did an interview with the NFL Network on Sunday and he talked about how he wants to be a starter right away, but also wants to learn and be patient in his development. From all accounts, he looks like he has a great head on his shoulders.

4. If Tyson Jackson turns out to be the next Richard Seymour like Chiefs’ GM Scott Pioli believes, then nobody is going to remember (or care) that he was taken with the third overall pick in a weak draft class.

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As the NFL draft rolls on over the next two days, I’ll post picks, thoughts and stay on top of any rumors that I hear and post them here. Enjoy.

2:55PM ET: Mike Mayock of the NFL Network claims that his “cell phone is blowing up� with reports that the Jets are trying to trade up to No. 2 for USC quarterback Mark Sanchez.

3:19PM ET: According to the South Florida Sun Sentinel, the Dolphins will select Connecticut cornerback Darius Butler at No. 25.

3:22PM ET: The Rams could trade back into the first round for middle linebacker Rey Maualuga according to NFL Network’s Steve Wyche.

3:38PM ET: I’m shocked the Chiefs passed on Aaron Curry, but all the pre-draft rumors that said Tyson Jackson would be their pick were obviously dead on. Jackson is the best 3-4 end in the draft and obvious was a commodity.

3:40PM ET: The Browns got exactly what they wanted with this trade. They weren’t in love with anyone at No.5 and managed to trade out. Great move – I wonder what kind of ransom the Browns got.

3:42PM ET: Mike Mayock just made a great point about the Jets trading up to No. 5. What team did they want to get ahead of to go all the way up to No. 5?

3:45PM ET: DE Kenyon Coleman, QB Brett Ratliff, S Abram Elam No. 17 and No. 57. A sleeper in this deal is Elam, who is one of the more promising safeties in the draft.

3:52PM ET: The Bengals select OT Andre Smith – another low character guy for their low-character roster. He is a tremendous talent, but he comes with a ton of baggage.

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This is it – the week NFL draft nuts have been waiting for. Soon enough, prospects will know what cities they’re headed to and draft mock experts everywhere will look like idiots when less than half of their predictions are correct despite spending hours of time researching the picks.

I say it every year – the NFL draft is a crapshoot in terms of trying to make predictions. Nobody knows how high prospects are rated on draft boards around the league except the teams themselves. So while it’s fun to project who will go where, nobody has a clue – not Mike Mayock, not Mel Kiper and certainly not Anthony Stalter. (Did I just refer to myself in the third person? What a joke.)

The following is my third and final mock of the first round. In my previous two mocks, I had some fun by predicting potential trades that could play out, but I won’t do it here. I’m playing this mock “straight up� because predicting trades in the first round is harder to do than predicting what kind of mood Billy Bob Thornton will be in when he sits down to give an interview. Zing!

Some of you will inevitably feel as though that I have teams reaching with their picks. That’s fine, but realize that reaches are going to happen come Saturday because they’re just a part of the draft. If you disagree with any of my picks, go ahead and let me hear about it in the comments section. After all, the NFL draft is a spectacle and it’s supposed to be fun for fans. Enjoy all the action on Saturday and good luck to your favorite team on draft weekend.

(Click here to see Mock Draft Version 1.0 and Mock Draft Version 2.0)

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In my first attempt to project the first round of the 2009 NFL Draft, I predicted the Lions to take Georgia’s Matthew Stafford with the first overall pick, Alabama’s offensive tackle Andre Smith to fall out of the top 15 and I also drummed up a potential swap between the Browns and 49ers so that San Fran could land USC signal caller Mark Sanchez.

But to paraphrase that overactor Nicholas Cage in “The Rock�: Gee, kind of a lot has happened since then. Most notably the Bears sending two first round picks to the Broncos for quarterback Jay Cutler and the Giants’ release of receiver Plaxico Burress.

Here’s my second attempt at projecting the first round of this month’s draft. As always, feel free to criticize in the comments section, but remember that I’m a human – I have feelings, too, damn it. So be gentle.

(Click here to see Mock Draft Version 1.0)

1. Detroit Lions: Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia
Mock 1.0 Projection: Stafford
Nothing in the past couple of weeks has changed my mind about Stafford eventually winding up in Detroit. GM Martin Mayhew reportedly wants to trade this selection because of the financial burden that is bestowed upon having the top overall pick, but other teams don’t want it for the same reason. In the end, Jason Smith (Baylor) and Eugene Monroe (Virginia) are both very good options here, but the Lions were reportedly very impressed with Stafford’s private workout and you know what? They simply need a quarterback.

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Notable Free Agents: Ron Bartell, CB; Richie Incognito, C; Dane Looker, WR; Dante Hall, WR;

Projected 2009 Cap Space: $8000,000

Draft Order: 2

Top Needs: The Rams have major holes along their offensive line and will likely look to upgrade their linebacker corps and secondary.

Offseason Outlook: Rumors are already circulating that the Rams will part with long-time veterans Orlando Pace and Torry Holt, although don’t rule out either player restructuring their current contracts in order to stay in St. Louis. Holt’s cap charge in 2009 is $10.25 million and Pace carries a charge of $9 mil next year. Neither player will be in a St. Louis uniform next year at their current prices. The team will either deal the players or flat out release them if they don’t agree to restructure their contracts.

The Rams might also consider releasing safety Corey Chavous ($1.2 million), linebacker Pisa Tinoisamoa ($2.25 million), backup quarterback Trent Green ($1.3 million) and defensive tackle Claude Wroten ($726,000) this offseason. Considering they’re handcuffed at only $8 million, expect new head coach Steve Spagnuolo and his staff to make moves in order to free up some cap space this offseason.

If the Rams part with Holt, some believe they may target a wide receiver in the draft, possibly even Texas Tech’s Michael Crabtree. But don’t count on it. Even if the team releases/trades Holt, word is that the Rams love the potential of Donnie Avery and Keenan Burton, and therefore could address other needs with the second overall pick in the draft.

Listen in as Anthony Stalter and I discuss the Chargers/Steelers debacle, Brandon Jacobs’ knee, Deuce McAllister’s possible suspension, the Tampa Bay running game, and much, much more. I’ll also throw out a few QB and RB sleepers for fantasy owners in need.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

The opening and closing music is AC/DC’s “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Want to Rock & Roll)”

Sunday’s Best: Cowboys (5-3) at Giants (6-1), 4:15 PM ET
This game has lost a lot of its luster with Brad Johnson starting at quarterback in place of the injured Tony Romo and the uncertainty of Jason Witten’s (ribs) status. But it’s still a classic NFC East matchup and the Dallas defense is coming off its best performance of the season in a win over the Bucs. Let’s be frank – the Giants should roll. Their pass rush should eat Johnson alive, which could mean we see Brooks Bollinger before the day is over. But the wildcard in this scenario is Marion Barber. If the Cowboys can get him going and Johnson doesn’t turn the ball over, Dallas might be able to play conservative and sneak out a win. But if they get down early, a second half comeback is unlikely and New York might post a double-digit victory. The Cowboy defense will have to produce an effort similar to the one they did last Sunday against Tampa or else Eli Manning, Brandon Jacobs and the rest of the G-Men offense should have no problem putting up 30 points.

Upset Watch: Cardinals (4-3) at Rams (2-5), 1:00 PM ET
Since Jim Haslett took over in St. Louis, the Rams are playing more physically sound football. They hung tough against the Patriots last week in Foxboro despite not having Steve Jackson in their backfield and the defense is starting to show signs of life. The Cardinals are coming off a disappointing loss to the Panthers, a game in which they led 17-3 early in the third quarter. Arizona continues to struggle on the road and although he’s played well this year, Kurt Warner can’t seem to avoid costly turnovers. Jackson might not play again this week, but the Cards’ defense doesn’t post that much of a threat and the Rams should have enough offensively to pull out a win. Obviously they’ll need to keep Warner and ‘Zona’s prolific passing attack at bay, but this could be one of the better upsets in Week 9 if St. Louis keeps playing hard under Haslett.

Intriguing Matchup: Patriots (5-2) at Colts (3-4), 8:15 PM ET
Boy this game has lost a lot of pizzazz hasn’t it? Who would have thought that when this game was schedule, it would feature a Tom Brady-less Patriots and a 3-4 Colts team? Regardless, this is still the most interesting matchup on the Week 9 schedule. Indy has to win this game to at least keep within sniffing distance of a Wild Card berth and New England is in a great battle with the surprising Buffalo Bills in the AFC East. The Colts have major issues on the defensive side of the ball and things got worse earlier this week when it was discovered that starting CB Marlin Jackson would miss the rest of the season with a torn ACL. Without Jackson and Bob Sanders in the secondary, the Colts are giving up big plays on third downs. If they sell out to stop the run, opposing quarterbacks are picking apart the beleaguered secondary. If they play not to get burned deep, opposing backs are having a field day running against Indy’s smaller front seven. A loss to the Pats on Sunday night could mean a Colts-less postseason in the NFL. That’s hard to imagine.

Other Notable Games:
Packers (4-3) at Titans (7-0), 1:00 PM ET
With “Elbow Bad” Johnson starting for the Cowboys this weekend in New York, the Green Bay-Tennessee game might wind up being the best matchup on the Week 9 schedule. With the Titans coming off a short week and finally getting the monkey off their backs in beating the Colts, are they primed for the taking? Aaron Rodgers vs. the Titans’ D should be an intriguing battle.

Ravens (4-3) at Browns (3-4), 1:00 PM ET
Some believe that Baltimore is a legitimate playoff contender in the AFC and Cleveland is starting to resemble the team that many thought would take the next step this year. You gotta love it when Art Modell has to travel to Cleveland, too.

Dolphins (3-4) at Broncos (4-3), 4:05 PM ET
Miami continues to be one of the better surprises this year in the NFL and will look to build off their impressive win over Buffalo last Sunday. Denver needs to shake off its embarrassing loss to the Patriots two weeks ago on Monday night.