Try to contain your excitement while reading this…

Randy Moss is coming back to the NFL.

“I just wanna go to a team and play some football,” Moss said in an announcment to “true Moss fans” on his 35th birthday via his Ustream.tv channel this morning. “The real Moss is on his way back to the NFL,” he said. “I didn’t want to make no splash, that’s why I left it on Moss TV.”

Well, good thing he made the announcement on “Moss TV” seeing as how he didn’t want to make “no” splash. I’m sure the 12 people who tuned in will keep the situation on the down low for Randy.

I know what some of you are thinking: ‘Hey, for one year I’d see if Moss has anything left in the tank.’ But let’s be realistic for a moment: Which team would really want this guy?

First and foremost, nobody was interested in his services two years ago when he managed to get booted off two teams in one season. So why would anyone be interested now? Because he’s older and wiser?

There are plenty of receiver-needy teams that might be willing to kick the tire on Moss this offseason. But general managers of these receiver-needy teams would be better off trying to develop young talent than shoehorning Moss into the lineup for one season. After all, one year of Randy Moss isn’t going to solve any team’s receiver issues.

Winning has been the only thing that has kept Moss from being a distraction over his career. Chances are he would keep quiet for one last chance to play for a winning franchise, a la Plaxico Burress last season. Thus, Moss may be worth the risk for a good team like the 49ers, who oh-by-the-way will be searching for a wideout this offseason.

But have you seen the receivers that could be available this year? Vincent Jackson, Wes Welker, Reggie Wayne, DeSean Jackson, Dwayne Bowe, Marques Colston, Steve Johnson, Brandon Llyod, Robert Meachem, Mario Manningham, Laurent Robinson and Mike Wallace (restricted) are just a handful of the receivers whose contracts are expiring this offseason. Early Doucet, Harry Douglas, Legedu Naanee, Eddie Royal, Andre Caldwell, Roy Williams and Jerome Simpson could be available as well.

So why on earth would any team take on a potential headache like Moss when they could get a younger, potentially much better receiver on the open market?

I think it’s great that Moss is feeling rejuvenated on his 35th birthday. But if he wanted to play football so badly then he should have shut his mouth and trusted that the Patriots would give him a new contract in 2010. Instead, he pouted (just like he did in Oakland) and managed to completely fall off the radar.

“Faith, family, and football, that’s my M.O., bro,” Moss said. “Your boy be back for the upcoming season.”

We’ll see, Randy.

Brad Childress has admitted in the past that acquiring Randy Moss from the Patriots last year was a mistake. But he took the Moss situation a step further this week when he criticized the receiver for “vomiting on” his locker room.

“We had good guys, by and large, [but Moss] walked in the locker room and vomited on it.”

Regular readers know that I’m not a huge Moss fan. I think he was blessed with elite talent and if he had Jerry Rice’s work ethic, he could have been the best receiver to play the game. Instead, Moss picked his spots to be great. He was motivated when he first came into the league because so many teams passed on him in the 1998 draft, so he worked his ass off in Minnesota. Then he was traded to Oakland and completely shut it down. When he was sent to New England in 2007, he was hungry again to prove his worth and wound up being an MVP candidate for the Patriots. When he wanted a new contract at the start of last season and didn’t receive one from the Pats, he shut it down again and became a distraction in Minnesota and Tennessee.

But despite my feelings about Moss, I find it interesting that in the same breath Childress didn’t mention how big of a distraction Brett Favre’s situation was last year. Now, don’t make this a race thing – it’s not about race. My point is that there were tons of things that went wrong in Minnesota last year, most of which happened before Moss even arrived. So why didn’t Childress speak out about that while he was busy pointing the finger at Moss?

It’s not hard to believe that Randy Moss was a distraction and now that he’s not associated with the organization any more, Childress has the right to speak his mind. But if he’s looking to point the finger, he might as well point it at more than just Moss. Favre was a distraction from Day 1; first, nobody knew whether or not he was going to return to Minnesota because he did his annual song and dance routine for months, then he became a distraction again when the Jenn Sterger story broke. Funny how Childress says he has no regrets getting on his knees and begging Favre to come back, yet Moss “vomited” on his good-guy locker room.

Please. Childress was the root of the issue in Minnesota. The players didn’t respect him, he never had a handle on how to manage the different personalities in the locker room and he allowed guys like Favre to do whatever he wanted. The head coach sets the tone for the rest of the team and very few players in that Vikings locker room were ready to march to the beat of Brad Childress.

The Vikings may not make the playoffs this year under Leslie Frazier but I can almost guarantee you that it won’t be because the players don’t respect the head coach. And for that, the franchise is in much better shape now than it was at this point last year.

I’ve always been a big believer in the theory what goes around, comes around. Every time I hear about how someone lied, stole or cheated, Johnny Cash’s haunting melody “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” plays in my head as I think to myself, ‘You’ll get yours…oooooooooh, you’ll get yours.’ (Sometimes I’ll even throw in a sinister laugh if nobody’s around.)

But after reading about how the prosecution screwed the pooch in the Roger Clemens trial on Thursday, I’m not so sure karma exists now. This turd has lied so many times about his alleged steroid use that somewhere along the line he actually started to believe the crap that was spewing out of his mouth. I hear Clemens speak now and I’m thoroughly convinced that he believes what he’s saying. Dude could take a lie detector test tomorrow and pass it with flying colors George Costanza-style.

You can Google the details on your own, but here’s the cliff note version of how Clemens’ case was declared a mistrial on Thursday:

1. The judge told prosecutors that they couldn’t use testimony of Andy Pettitte’s wife unless it was in rebuttal, since she did not hear Clemens directly state that he had used HGH.

2. Via video, the prosecutors used the testimony anyway.

3. Mistrial.

That sound you just heard was your tax money flushing down the toilet at the hands of well-educated, well-paid men who just produced one of the all-time screw-ups in sports history. It’s not like this happened on Day 45 because someone lost focus and got a little careless. This was the second freaking day of the trial.

What happens next is interesting. If the judge declares double jeopardy, then Clemens cannot be tried for the same crime, which basically means that he’ll get off even easier than Barry Bonds did. Following Bonds, Clemens would be the second liar not to have had to pay the piper, which ruins my faith in karma and karma-like revenge.

Not this time, Johnny.

Quick-Hit Thursday Thoughts:

- I don’t want to make light of the fact that Clemens allegedly lied under oath, but at this point I would rather see the government move on. It’s clear following the Bonds and Clemens’ trials that the government is in over its head and I would like to think that it has bigger fish to fry.

- NFL Network’s Jason La Canfora reports that the Dolphins “might actually set the market for Reggie Bush.” That’s outstanding: Can he play quarterback?

- The player rep for Randy Moss is claiming that his client “has been working out, two-a-days all spring and summer in West Virginia” and that Moss is going to be a “difference maker” again. I don’t doubt that Moss still has the talent to be a starting receiver in the NFL. I do, however, doubt his willingness to do anything but cash a paycheck and steal more money from a team.

- Mark Maske of the Washington Post is reporting that an agreement in principle on a new CBA could be completed between this Friday and next Tuesday. That’s fantastic. I wonder when the deal could have been in place had the two sides bothered talking to each other at the start instead of directly going to court.

- Maurice Clarett told a radio station in Omaha that colleges should pay football players $30,000 or $20,000 to fix the problems that the NCAA has been facing. I’m all for the idea on one condition: The schools stop shelling out thousands of dollars for this kid’s tuition and room and board. Because given Clarett’s comments and history, it’s clear that some of these players aren’t taking advantage of the free education that is being provided them. So yeah, pay them $30,000 a year so that they can buy all of the handguns and Grey Goose vodka they want. Zing!

Sources have told Manish Mehta of the New York Daily News that the Jets in fact of interest in free agent Randy Moss.

Last month, there were conflicting reports over Gang Green’s level of interest in Moss. Earlier this month, Pro Football Talk reported that it heard rumblings that the 34-year-old wide receiver was on the Jets’ radar.

The Jets will have more than a cursory interest in Moss if Holmes or Edwards doesn’t return, per sources.

Rex Ryan firmly believes that Moss is still a viable vertical threat. Even in the twilight of his career, he creates matchup problems. In other words, opposing defensive coordinators still game plan to stop him. Moss is apparently as motivated to prove doubters wrong as he was when the Patriots rescued him from the Raiders four years ago.

Moss may not ultimately be a Jet, but Gang Green is certainly interested in him if it loses Holmes or Edwards.

I don’t doubt that Moss can still play at a high level, even given the disastrous ending to his 2010 campaign. If the guy is motivated and focused, he can still be a playmaker in any offense.

The problem is whether or not he’ll be motivated and focused. And more specifically, whether he’ll be motivated by more than money and focused on helping his team win. He was only motivated by money in New England last year and he clearly wasn’t focused after he was traded to Minnesota and picked up by Tennessee.

This guy flat out disappeared for two years in Oakland only to resurrect from the dead to post 98 receptions for 1,493 yards and 23 touchdowns in New England during the 2007 season. So even at this stage in his career, the question isn’t whether or not he can play. He can. The question is whether or not he’ll be motivated enough to be worth an investment, which is something that Rex Ryan (a great motivator) and the Jets will have to figure before they eventually pursue him. (Assuming of course that the above report is accurate and they are interested.)

Tom E. Curran of CSNNE.com shared an interesting tidbit of information in his latest column about Tom Brady and Randy Moss. The crux of Curran’s piece is about how Moss isn’t an ideal fit for the Patriots any more, but he also mentions how Brady “froze” Moss out in the receiver’s final two games with New England last season.

Moss’ main concern isn’t playing football, it’s making money. And anyone who’s been listening for the last decade has heard Bill Belichick lob the praise “football is important to him” realizes how ill-fitting Randy Moss would be here.

Never mind the fact that, after the Jets game last year, quarterback Tom Brady basically froze Moss out for his final two games in New England. Brady was tired of throwing picks on balls intended for Moss (he threw two against the Jets; he had just two more the rest of the regular season).

This seems like one of those stories in which the player(s) later comes out and says that it didn’t happen. But I wouldn’t put it past Brady to do something like “freeze” anyone (not just Moss – Wes Welker, Deion Branch, Jerry Rice, etc.) out. His no nonsense attitude and leadership are just two qualities that endear him to football fans across the country.

Hey, you don’t want to work, Randy? No problem. But you’re not getting the ball. Good luck trying to get that contract extension you’ve been seeking. I’m not going to stand idle while you look out for No. 1 and the rest of us fight for the TEAM.

And what happened to Moss in the end? He turned out being the poster child for what not to do when you’re a player seeking a new contract. Now he’s practically begging for New England to take him back after he eroded in Tennessee last year. Had he just shut his mouth, continued to work hard and helped the Patriots win, he probably would have received a new contract (at least eventually, barring what happens with the lockout).

But because he put himself ahead of the team, Moss got the treatment he deserved in the end.

There have been a couple of interesting reports surrounding the Jets over the last couple of days, specifically their receiving corps.

On Saturday, Santonio Holmes told ESPN New York’s Rich Cimini that he won’t sign his restricted free agent tender if the 2010 work rules remain in place for 2011. The Jets placed a first-and-third-round restricted free agent tender on Holmes last month, but he says he wants a long-term deal and will sign with the highest bidder if he hits the open market as an unrestricted free agent.

On Tuesday, Greg A. Bedard of the Boston Globe noted that Randy Moss could eventually wind up in a Jets uniform this year.

Randy Moss in a Jets uniform? It could happen. Among several free agents, the Jets have receivers Santonio Holmes and Braylon Edwards. They have said re-signing Holmes is a priority. Edwards would likely have to agree to a contract with the Jets that might be less than market value. And he might very well balk at that and cash in elsewhere. Enter Moss, another big target. Only one team, the Titans, put in a claim for him when he was released by the Vikings. And considering his performance in Tennessee, most teams aren’t going to waste their time with a 34-year-old receiver with diminishing skills, let alone one who’s known as a problem child. But coach Rex Ryan could be interested. Ryan has enough cachet where he could keep Moss in line, and the Jets would probably enjoy tweaking the Patriots. Ryan spoke highly of Moss last month. “Randy Moss, I’ve said all along, is a great vertical receiver,’’ Ryan said at the owners’ meetings. “And you have to roll coverage. Most teams would have to roll coverage to him. We never did, but we got burned for a touchdown. But he was a weapon. A vertical weapon down the field.’’ Curiously, when Ryan began to speak about Moss, he checked first with team spokesman Bruce Speight to see if it would be tampering.

Even though Moss would probably sign a one-year deal for cheap (assuming he even wants to play for Ryan and the Jets), I don’t see how New York can sign Holmes, Edwards and Moss in one offseason. And why would they want to? This isn’t “Madden” and there’s only one football to go around.

Receiver will be a priority this offseason, but the Jets also need help at defensive end, linebacker and guard, too. Giving Holmes a long-term deal, signing Moss for cheap and allowing Edwards to walk probably makes the most sense (again, assuming that both Moss and the Jets are interested in each other). That would allow the Jets to concentrate on other areas as well.

While appearing on KFAN 1130 in Minneapolis on Wednesday, free agent Randy Moss dropped a few loud hints that he would like to return to the Patriots next season.

“If you ask me where my heart and where I’m happy is,” Moss said, “I love Tom Brady and I love playing for coach Belichick.”

Really? Then why didn’t he do what Belichick asked him to last year and not complain about his contract situation to the media? Had he kept working hard, showed a little patience and let the situation play itself out, then maybe he never would have been traded. Instead, he reminded people at every turn that he didn’t have a contract and essentially got himself traded out of New England.

But now he wants back in after a couple of miserably months in Minnesota (whom he also said he would “love” to play for again) and Tennessee. Interesting. If I were Belichick, I’d take Moss back in a heartbeat. Why, you ask? The great thing about Randy Moss is that he’s not very hard to figure out. When his team is winning or when he feels like he has something to prove, he plays with hunger and motivation. He gave up in Oakland because he didn’t have to prove himself and because the Raiders were losers. When he was dealt to New England, he once again wanted to show people how good he was and he preformed at a high level because he loved being a part of a winner. But that eventually wore off so he made money his main priority and then promptly fell off the face of the earth after he was traded.

But now he’s motivated again and he would probably come real cheap after the way his season ended last year. If Belichick was interested, I’m willing to bet that Moss would jog to New England just to have one more chance to play for a winner.