If I were smart I would change my college football predictions to “Tail Material” and my NFL predictions to “Simply f#$king Awful.”

But I’m not that smart.

While my college prediction record is well above .500 at 21-13-2 on the year, my NFL record continues to sink into the abyss. The Saints scored a meaningless touchdown with 17 seconds left against the Rams last Sunday to push the combined score over the total when, of course, I had the under 48.5. I knew it was going to be a bad day but considering I also had the Giants, Broncos and Seahawks, I didn’t know it was going to be a train wreck of an afternoon.

My 0-4, yes 0-4, Week 8 brings my season record to 13-19. Fade me now or forever hold your peace.

Giants @ Patriots, 4:15PM ET
The Giants have screwed me at every turn this year but I’m finally on to them. You see, if they’re predicted to win they’re liable to throw up a stinker because they have a tendency to play down to their competition. That’s why they almost lost to Arizona on the road, lost to Seattle at home and needed a fourth-quarter comeback to beat a winless Miami team last Sunday. But when the masses believe they’ll lose, there the G-Men are, up in everyone’s faces with an outright win. Go back to Week 3 when they played the Eagles on the road. They were 9-point underdogs and they won outright in impression fashion. New York has had New England’s number for years so I’ll gladly take the points with the Giants – Bill Belichick and his non-consecutive loss streak be damned.
THE PICK: NEW YORK GIANTS +9

Packers @ Chargers, 4:15PM ET
If Philip Rivers didn’t fumble late in the fourth quarter against the Chiefs on Monday night and the Chargers went on to win that game, then the spread for this game would have probably stayed around 3 points. Instead, San Diego is a 5.5-point home underdog against a Green Bay team that is undefeated but has showed signs of cracking. They haven’t played a complete game since their 49-23 win over the Broncos in Week 4. They stunk in the first half against Atlanta in Week 5, stunk in the second half against St. Louis in Week 6 and stunk in the fourth quarter against Minnesota in Week 7. Teams coming off their byes have generally struggled in the NFL this year, so I’m taking the Chargers and the points. And I wouldn’t be surprised to see San Diego win outright.
THE PICK: SAN DIEGO CHARGERS +5.5

Falcons @ Colts, 1:00PM ET
I don’t trust the Falcons as far as I can throw them, which isn’t very far. They have rarely crushed teams under conservative coach Mike Smith and offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey. They always find a way to leave opponents in the game until the very last second and I don’t think this week will be any different, even though they’re playing a winless Indianapolis team. Atlanta also has a date coming up next week with New Orleans so this game has trap written all over it.
THE PICK: INDIANAPOLIS COLTS +7

Dolphins @ Chiefs, 1:00PM ET
Here’s letdown game No. 2 on my list this week. The Chiefs must feel as though they’ve played a full 16-game season even though this is only Week 9. After starting the year 0-3, they’ve battled back with four-straight wins, including two against divisional opponents the past couple of weeks. Now they’re favored at home against a team they should beat in winless Miami. The Dolphins showed last Sunday that they’re not quite ready to throw in the towel and they’re going to win a game at some point. I don’t know if it’ll be this week or not that Miami collects its first win but I’m taking the points either way.
THE PICK: MIAMI DOLPHINS +4

Last Week: 0-4
Season: 13-19

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I missed out on my first 4-0 Sunday last week by picking the Steelers against the Saints, which was a mistake. It was a clear trap and had I trusted my gut, it would have been a clean sweep. I’ll take 3-1 every week though.

On to this week’s picks…

Chiefs (5-2) @ Raiders (4-4), 4:15PM ET
I’m not buying this latest offensive surge from the Raiders. If he can stay healthy, there’s no question Darren McFadden can knock on the door of elite. But this is still Oakland Raider football, where consistency goes to die. This pick is less about the Chiefs and more about the Raiders coming back to earth, although I like Kansas City. Do I think they’ll keep up their strong play? Not really, but their defense is strong and their offense started to figure things out before last Sunday’s dud against Buffalo. Chiefs win outright, although I’ll gladly take the points with them playing on the road.
THE PICK: CHIEFS +3

Chargers (3-5) @ Texans (4-3), 1:00PM ET
The Chargers, your official spokes team for traps. The past two weeks oddsmakers have laid traps with the Bolts, as they were favored against the Patriots and Titans at home. This week they go on the road (where they’re 0-4, mind you) to Houston and they’re favored again? Without Antonio Gates? Something smells like old asparagus. You look at this line and it screams out to take the Texans, which is exactly why I’m taking the Bolts. Take that oddsmakers!
THE PICK: CHARGERS –3

Bucs (5-2) @ Falcons (5-2), 1:00PM ET
I’ll admit I’m not a big Bucs fan. I think their 5-2 record is a mirage and while it was cute of Raheem Morris to build up his team’s confidence by saying they were the best in the NFC, this team will come back down to earth at some point. That said, what a total slap in the face to be a 9-point dog against a team that they’ve played tough throughout the years. I know the Falcons are good at home (nearly unbeatable under Matt Ryan), but Tampa has always gives Atlanta fits. This is going to be a hard-fought, nasty, tooth-and-nail, down-to-the-wire finish in the Georgia Dome and I’ll gladly take the nine points.
THE PICK: BUCS +9

Saints (5-3) @ Panthers (1-6), 1:00PM ET
The NFC South is an interesting division. The Saints always have a hard time with the Panthers, who always have a hard time with the Falcons, who always have a hard time with the Bucs, who always have a hard time with the Saints. But not this Sunday. Carolina is putrid and if it weren’t for Buffalo, we’d be referring to this team as the worst in the league. And without DeAngelo Williams, they don’t stand much of a chance this Sunday against the Saints. New Orleans may have righted the ship with a win last Sunday night against Pittsburgh, so maybe we’ll start to see glimpses of the ’09 Saints over the next couple of weeks. That, or at least a diet version of the ’09 Saints.
THE PICK: SAINTS –6.5

Season Record: 13-14-1