Cubs left fielder (if you can even call him that with the nightly circus routine he usually puts on out there) Alfonso Soriano is hopping mad with manager Lou Piniella after the skipper sat him for the third time in eight in eight games Wednesday night.

“That’s why I’m mad,” Soriano said. “If he had told me yesterday, then I wouldn’t come today ready to play.”

Piniella typically gives Soriano a heads-up when he will get a day off but declined to do so this time.

“That’s a surprise to me today,” Soriano said. “I think he could have said to me last night, ‘OK, take a day off,’ especially because [Thursday] is an off day. I’d be like, ‘OK, I’ll take the two [days].’ But I like to know before I come here.”

Soriano, hitting .182 over his last 40 games, said his knee pain isn’t enough to prevent him from playing.

“I can play,” he said. “If I can play, it’s not bothering me. It bothers me if I’m not playing though.”

Asked if he would talk to Piniella about his complaint, Soriano simply replied: “No.”

Considering he’s hitting a buck eighty two over his last 40 games and is a liability defensively, Soriano doesn’t have much of a compliant here. And I found it laughable when he suggested that he wouldn’t come ready to play if he knew he was going to sit.

Hey Alfonso, the Cubs (over)pay you millions of dollars every year. How about showing up ready to play everyday, regardless of whether or not you’re in the starting lineup? Is that too much to ask?

Piniella is really working with a couple of clowns on this team. He must go home every night and punch a fresh hole through the wall of his garage.

It’s safe to say that this past offseason has been one of the worst for Jim Hendry during his tenure as General Manager of the Chicago Cubs. The Los Angeles Dodgers made a mockery of the Cubs’ right-handed lineup in the playoffs by not throwing a single left-handed pitcher at them, and the Cubs responded to this glaring weakness by trading Mark DeRosa, the most versatile and well-liked player on the team – not to mention cheap, since he was in line to make an affordable $5.5 million in the final year of his contract – in order to free up some cash to sign a left-handed power hitter. For God knows what reason, Hendry doesn’t even make an attempt to sign Raul Ibanez, a clubhouse prince who is good for 25 home runs and 100 RBIs year in and year out. Nope, Hendry set his sights on Milton Bradley, a talented but mercurial journeyman (the Cubs are the eighth team he’s played for since his Major League debut in 2000) who just happened to put up career numbers in a contract year. The words “career numbers” sound good, but they come with one big-ass asterisk. Take a look at Bradley’s career year numbers versus the 2008 stat lines of DeRosa and Ibanez:

Raul Ibanez: .292-85-23-110-2
Mark DeRosa: .285-104-21-87-6
Milton Bradley .321-78-22-77-5

It’s a pretty average stat line as career numbers go, and don’t forget that he put up those numbers primarily as a DH, and he still only played 126 games due to nagging injuries. Yep, this is the man that the Cubs hoped would save them, to the tune of three years and $30 million. To add insult to injury, DeRosa now plays for the rival Cardinals.

“Let’s see, if I strike out like that 100 more times this year…I still make $7 million! Ahhhh hahahahahahaha!”

And would you look at that; now that Bradley has his money, he can’t hit water if he fell out of a boat. Well, let’s qualify that — he’s actually hitting .333…from the right side of the plate. He’s hitting .194 as a lefty, has been suspended for bumping an umpire, sent home by his manager after trashing yet another water cooler, and poisoned yet another clubhouse with his unpredictable temper. Bradley said before the season started that he had changed, that those days of flying off the handle (remember when he tore his ACL yelling at an umpire?) were long gone. How on earth did the Cubs believe him? Didn’t they see the “South Park” movie? Bad people always say they’ll change, but they never do.

So what do the Cubs do with Bradley now? He’s expected to take the next two days off to work on his approach from the left side of the plate with new hitting coach Von Joshua. A good start, but we have some other, admittedly extreme suggestions to the Bradley problem that we think the Cubs brass should consider.

Cubs’ manager Lou Piniella officially apologized to tantrum-throwing Milton Bradley, who decided to take out his frustration on a water cooler during a game on Friday night and was absolutely reamed out by his manager.

“I apologized for the last comment I made, told him he knows in the context I meant it,” Piniella said. “But I also told him that just can’t continue, to have shenanigans that we’ve put up with. I told him he’s going to hurt somebody, he’s going to hurt himself.”

Piniella ordered the mercurial slugger to go home Friday afternoon after Bradley threw his helmet and went after a water cooler following a fly out in the top of the sixth inning of the Cubs game against the crosstown rival White Sox.

“He didn’t really talk to me about it, he just kind of yelled at me in the dugout and told me to get out of there,” Bradley said Saturday before he talked with Piniella. “So I left. Then he continued to yell at me some more. I’ve got to take that.”

Bradley confirmed a report in the Chicago Sun-Times describing the expletive Piniella used.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what he said,” Bradley said. “But I’m not going to get into it.”

After going 1 for 5 as the Cubs lost to the White Sox, 8-7, Bradley said he had no problems or issues with Piniella, especially after their meeting before Saturday’s game.

“I got a ton of respect for Lou,” Bradley said. “When he says something, I really take heed and listen to it, not just the tone or the exact words but the sentiment behind it. I really think he had a heartfelt talk with me in his office, and I think we are both better for it.”

While we’re handing out apologizes, maybe Bradley should apologize to Lou, his teammates, and Cubs fans for not knowing how many outs there are in an inning and for barely being able to keep his batting average above .235 this season. And maybe Jim Hendry should apologize to the fans for trading Mark DeRosa away in the offseason for a couple of expired White Castle coupons and a $5 gift certificate to Best Buy. (And then promptly signing Bradley to fill the void left by DeRosa.)

The Cubs are a mess right now.

Lou Piniella has had about all he can take of outfielder Milton Bradley.

Piniella told the mercurial slugger to go home Friday afternoon after Bradley threw his helmet and went after a water cooler following a fly out in the top of the sixth inning of the Cubs game against the crosstown rival White Sox. Piniella told him to take his uniform off, and the two exchanged words in the tunnel leading up to the Cubs clubhouse.

“I don’t like those things to happen, but I’m just tired of watching it,” an agitated Piniella said after the Cubs’ 5-4 victory. “This has been a common occurrence, and I’ve looked the other way a lot and I’m tired. I’m not into discipline, I’m really not. I’m going to put his name in the lineup tomorrow and that’s it.”

Piniella didn’t get specific about whether he was tired of Bradley’s antics in particular or those of his entire team. Pitchers Carlos Zambrano and Ryan Dempster both went after the drink dispenser in the Cubs dugout at Wrigley Field earlier this season.

But Bradley, playing for his seventh team in nine-plus seasons, does have a long history of being volatile.

“It’s something I promise you won’t be happening again,” Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said.

Bradley has already been suspended for one game this season after arguing with umpire Larry Vanover when he was called out on strikes with the bases loaded April 16. It was his very first at-bat at Wrigley Field after signing a $30 million contract during the offseason. The umpire crew contended Bradley’s hat made slight contact with Vanover.

It would be one thing if Bradley were hitting and he was being a nuisance, but he’s batting just .237 this season with five dingers, 16 RBI and 24 runs. He was supposed to be one of the missing pieces to a Cubs’ lineup that should be thriving right now, but instead has been DOA.

It’ll be interesting to see if the Cubs just don’t cut bait and move on. Bradley hardly seems worth the trouble at this point. Then again, maybe Lou just needed to make an example of somebody and Bradley offered the perfect opportunity. This could be a situation that just blows over in a couple of days.

…that’s what some Cubs fans believe, although Sweet Lou says he’s just more in control now.

“I still have fire,” he said Thursday morning in an interview with the Tribune, hours before the Cubs’ 6-5 loss to the Detroit Tigers. “It’s more under control. The amazing thing is when I was younger and I showed it more, then I’d be criticized at times, ‘This guy is showing too much [fire].’

“I understand this business. I’ve been in it a long time, and the bottom line is you have to win. It doesn’t matter if you have fire, no fire, passion, no passion, stupidity, smartness … all of these things don’t even come into the equation. What comes into the equation — for the fans, for the organization, for the people watching — is you either win or you lose. It’s a simple thing.

“I’m doing the best I can. That’s all I can do. Last year we won 97 games and I was the manager of the year in the National League. And all of a sudden this year, I don’t have any fire? That’s why we’re not winning?

“I don’t buy that at all.”

Everyone do themselves a favor and re-read that second quote by Piniella – the one about winning and losing, because he hits the nail on the head. Fans want to see their teams win – period. If the team is losing, then the manager, general manager and hot dog vendors aren’t doing enough. If the team is winning, then the manager, general manager and hot dog vendors are the best manager, general manager and hot dog vendors this world has ever seen.

Fans who watch their teams on a nightly basis aren’t stupid – they know what’s going on and they have a good grasp of the strengths and weaknesses of their team. But in general, most fans are irrational and they lose site of the bigger picture when their team starts to lose.

Piniella hasn’t lost his fire – the Cubs simply can’t hit right now. Lou kicking dirt on an umpire isn’t going to make Aramis Ramirez healthy again and it’s not going to help Alfonso Soriano cut down on the strikeouts or Derrek Lee not hit into any double plays. If a team needs a fire lit under their ass, then Piniella is the one manager you’d pick to do that. But there’s not much he can do right now with the suckhole that the Cubs’ offense is currently in.

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Offseason Movement: The Cubs were seemingly hosed by the Indians in a trade that sent ultra-utility player Mark DeRosa to Cleveland in exchange for minor league pitching prospects Jeff Stevens, Chris Archer and John Gaub, none of which were viewed as top 10 prospects in the Tribe’s organization. But maybe one of those youngsters will emerge as a quality arm down the road and DeRosa’s contract does expire at the end of the season so at least the Cubs got something for him. Chicago also added volatile outfielder Milton Bradley, reliever Kevin Gregg and pitcher Aaron Heilman, who will move to the bullpen after losing out to Sean Marshall this spring for the Cubs’ fifth spot in the rotation.

Top Prospect: Josh Vitters, 3B
This club is loaded with quality prospects, including reliever Jeff Samardzija, shortstop Ryan Flaherty and outfielder Tyler Colvin. But Vitters appears to be the best of group, with his excellent plate approach, outstanding hand-eye coordination and natural swing. Thus far in Single-A, Vitters is hitting .357 and slugging .529 in 70 at bats. At only 19, he still has a ways to go before he’ll make his big league debut, but Vitters appears to have quite a future ahead of him.

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Auburn vs. Vanderbilt
Vanderbilt has endured 25 consecutive losing seasons, but the Commodores are looking to go 5-0 for the first time since 1943, and are trying to earn their first bowl appearance since the 1982 Hall of Fame Classic. They find themselves in sole possession of first place in the SEC Eastern Division. Auburn needs a win on Saturday to have a realistic shot of capturing the SEC Western Division title. The Tigers did derail the Commodores’ early season success last year with a 35-7 blowout win at Auburn. Coverage will begin at 6 PM EST Saturday on ESPN.

Florida State vs. Miami
Both teams seem to be on the right track in restoring their reputations as conference contenders despite inconsistent early season performances. This will be the second straight meeting in which neither school is ranked in the polls, and it will be the first time that Miami won’t be hosting the game in the Orange Bowl. Miami’s old home had been a house of horrors for Florida State coach Bobby Bowden, as he was 5-9 against the Canes at the Orange Bowl. Regional coverage begins at 12:30 PM EST Saturday on ABC.

Ohio State vs. Wisconsin
The Terrelle Pryor Show continues this week on the road. He has shown the skills that made him the # 1 recruit in the nation by proving he can run and pass in back-to-back home victories over Troy and Minnesota. Now comes the real test – a game at Wisconsin’s raucous and rowdy Camp Randall Stadium. The talented Badgers are no doubt angry, as they’re coming off a 27-21 loss at Michigan in which they blew a 19-0 halftime lead. Regional coverage begins Saturday at 8 PM EST on ABC. Click here for the official Ohio State vs. Wisconsin smack thread.

Chicago Cubs vs. Los Angeles Dodgers
Do you believe in curses? If you live in Chicago and root for the Cubs, yes you do. Cubby fans get excited every April, and are heartbroken by October. They have endured eight straight playoff losses, including five in a row under Lou Piniella. The Cubs will have to play better baseball in Los Angeles to bring the series back to Chicago. But history doesn’t bode well for Cub fans, as Piniella is 3-10 in playoff games against Joe Torre, and the 2001 New York Yankees are the only team to come back from a 0-2 deficit in a divisional series. Guess who managed that team….Joe Torre. Saturday’s game 3 coverage will begin 10 PM EST and if necessary Sunday’s game 4 at 4 PM EST on TBS.

- Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times writes that the Cubs are a tragedy of errors right now.

- Chris DeLuca of the Times notes that the Cubs aren’t the only ones in a slump – manager Lou Piniella is, too.

- Joey Johnston of the Tampa Tribune gushes over Rays’ rookie Evan Longoria’s cool after the third basemen hit two home runs in Game 1 of ALDS against the White Sox.

- Todd Zolecki of the Philadelphia Inquirer notes that Phils manager Charlie Manuel has succeeded with juggling the club’s lineup so far against the Brewers in the NLDS.

- John Romano of the St. Petersburg Times likes the fire that Rays’ RP Grant Balfour shows, but also writes how the young pitcher invites trouble along with his success.

- Phil Sheridan of the Philadelphia Inquirer waxes poetically about Shane Victorino, the “little Philly� who came up with a huge grand slam against Brewers’ ace CC Sabathia in Game 2 of the NLDS.