Surprise, surprise, Joe Buck has no sense of humor.

Sarah Silverman supports the use of LSD by pitchers, and gets bleeped by Fox for using the term “Masshole” twice.

Listen as commentator Ewen Murray tongue-slaps Tiger Woods for spitting on the 12th green at the Omega Dubai Desert Classic over the weekend:

The European Tour wasn’t pleased with Tiger’s actions and announced Monday that it will be fining him an undisclosed sum. Tiger has since taken to Twitter to apologize about the grave injustice to the world of golf.

The Euro Tour is right – it was inconsiderate to spit like that and I know better. Just wasn’t thinking and want to say I’m sorry.

Murray obviously has a point: nobody wants to put through Tiger’s spit and Woods should have apologized for not having more awareness. But I don’t think there was any reason for Murray to channel his inner Joe Buck.

Relax, Joe.

I truly don’t care what a man or woman’s sexual preference is.

Gay, straight – whatever. I don’t care.

But I do find it interesting that Joe Buck would choose to call two different men “dreamy” and “good looking” on national television in the same week that rumors started circulating that he was gay.

Let’s back it up for a second.

Earlier this week, the website TerezOwens.com reported that Buck was going through a divorce and that it’s “common knowledge” in St. Louis that the broadcaster is gay. The site goes on to say that there are rumors that Buck and former Cardinal Fernando Tatis had sex and “Joe’s wife found out or something.”

Seeing as how TerezOwens.com doesn’t reveal its sources, it’s wise to take the report with a grain of salt. Plus, just based on how the story was written would be enough to doubt the accuracy of the rumor.

But Buck said a couple of things Thursday night during FOX’s broadcast of the Patriots-Falcons preseason game that made me scratch my head. Before New England quarterback Tom Brady took the field for the first time in the first quarter, Buck uttered: “And now the dreamy Tom Brady will take over for the Patriots…”

Granted, I get that Buck was playing off the notion that women think Brady is a good-looking guy. He even emphasized “dreamy” by holding the “e” longer than the rest of the word while enunciating it (i.e. dreeeeeeeeamy).

But later in the game after sideline reporter Pam Oliver interviewed Falcons’ tight end Tony Gonzalez about his strict eating regiment, Buck dropped this on the listening audience:

“Well we know this, he’s a good looking guy, he’s well-spoken, he’s been in the league forever, he has the best stats of any tight end in the history of the position, but he’ll never be a part of the media because he would always eat alone.”

I’m sorry, but if I were doing the broadcast of a football game when I know my target audience is predominantly male, I wouldn’t be calling Brady “dreamy” or pointing out that Gonzalez is a “good-looking guy.” There’s just no reason to make those statements during the middle of a football game. Do those two references mean that Buck’s gay? Of course not, and does it matter either way?

But if he’s not, then he certainly didn’t do anything on Thursday night to dispel the rumor.

Sports Illustrated put out this list of what it believes to be the Top 20 all-time sportscasters. Some of these guys are before my time, but unfortunately, most of them are not. Anyway, here is the list and a snappy comment or two, as well as who they missed and who I’m glad is not on here:

1. Jim McKay—The Bob Costas of his time. McKay hosted ABC’s “Wide World of Sports” as well as The Olympics. It’s hard to argue with putting him on top here, but it’s also easy to argue for a few of these others to be #1.

2. Vin Scully—If I hear ol’ Vin doing a game on TV, and with the MLB package it’s nice to still hear him doing Dodgers’ games, I don’t care who is playing….I stop and watch, and listen. It’s just comforting to hear the guy’s voice, which was made for broadcasting baseball.

Read the rest of this entry »

- SPARTY & FRIENDS argues that Michael Wilbon is “full of crap” for saying that he’d physically assault Urban Meyer if he were in Jeremy Fowler’s position. It’s easy for Wilbon to say this now, but Fowler’s first instinct was to diffuse the situation.

- BLACK SPORTS ONLINE (still love that blog name) comments on Tim Tebow’s dad’s prediction that Tebow will go in the top 15 picks.

- DEUCE OF DAVENPORT profiles the Washington Wizards’ new owner, Ted Leonsis.

- MIDWEST SPORTS FANS lists seven memorable moments of goofy whiteness.

- SPORTS MEDIA WATCH reports that “Joe Buck Live” may very well be over and Mr. Buck doesn’t seem to care…like the rest of us.

- SPORTSbyBROOKS has a photo of Erin Andrews and her partner on “Dancing With the Stars” getting a little…um…cozy.

- DEADSPIN has a few recollections from one of the former producers of MTV’s spring break events, including a pretty funny one about Paris Hilton and still-unnamed rock star.

Jump to the 10:00 mark for the sequence…

I agree: “Let Aikman do the commentary!”

- DEADSPIN has video of a very bitter Artie Lange crapping all over Joe Buck on the debut of his new show on HBO. (Side note: I love Paul Rudd.) (Side note #2: Talk show hosts are supposed to be self-deprecating and/or funny. Joe Buck is neither.) AWFUL ANNOUNCING has some follow up on the exchange, while THE BIG LEAD wonders if Lange hadn’t appeared on the show, would there be any buzz?

- BRANDON MARSHALL clears the air on his blog. He’s leaving Denver.

- YARDBARKER notes that it wasn’t the T-Wolves that broke the news about Kevin McHale’s departure. It was Kevin Love, via Twitter.

- Click over to SPORTSbyBROOKS for the most misleading post headline I’ve ever seen. Read the post and then try to remember what it was supposed to be about. Those who make it to the end will be treated to a shot of Pam Oliver’s badonkadonk.

Here are six quick-hit observations from the Cardinals’ 32-25 win over the Eagles in the NFC Championship Game on Sunday.

1. Just keep doubting them – the Cardinals will just keep winning.
Let’s run through everything the Cardinals weren’t supposed to do this postseason, shall we? They weren’t supposed to stop Michael Turner or beat the Falcons in the first round. They weren’t supposed to win on the road or stop the Panthers’ dynamic running game in the second round. And then even when they did accomplish those things, they weren’t supposed to beat the Eagles because Philadelphia would finally pressure Kurt Warner like he hadn’t been the previous two weeks. Yet the Cardinals did beat Philly on Sunday, and they did so even though adversity stopped by in the third quarter and smacked them square in the mouth. (More on that next.)

2. The Cardinals did something Sunday that they hadn’t done much of all season – battle adversity.
When the Eagles scored a go ahead touchdown with just over 10 minutes remaining in the game to take a 25-24 lead in front of a stunned Arizona crowd, the Cardinals could have easily crumpled in the final quarter. Philadelphia had just scored 19 points in a matter of nine minutes, were starting to pressure Warner with more ease and had seized all momentum. But the Cards answered with a 14-play, 72-yard drive that took 12:07 off the clock and culminated in a Tim Hightower 8-yard touchdown run. They added the 2-point conversation on a pass reception by Ben Patrick and even though there was still plenty of time left on the clock at 2:53, you got the impression that the Eagles were cooked. Granted, ‘Zona benefited from a non-pass interference call on a 4th and 10 attempt to Kevin Curtis on the final drive, but the Cards had already capitalized on the most pivotal moment in the game by taking the Eagles’ best shot and answering back.

3. The Eagles only played 19 minutes of this game…
…had they played the entire game, they probably would have won. Something that got overlooked by many pundits in the week leading up to the contest was that this was the third straight road game for Philadelphia. It’s hard to win on the road as it is, nevertheless three straight weeks. It’s why most sixth seeds don’t make it to the Super Bowl. That said, had the Eagles played the entire game as well as they did in the third quarter and the beginning of the fourth, they would have won. Granted, that’s an obvious statement since they scored 13 points and limited the Cardinals to –1 yard of total offense in that third period – but look deeper. In that third quarter, Jim Johnson finally was able to dial up the right pressure on Kurt Warner, Andy Reid was finally able to get the tired Arizona defense on their heels and Donovan McNabb finally was hitting receivers in stride and striking for big plays. (None bigger than DeSean Jackson’s wild 62-yard touchdown reception early in the fourth.) The Eagles essentially only executed their game plan for 19 minutes of this game and yes, the Cardinals had a lot to do with that. But Philadelphia also got in its own way more times than not by dropping passes, failing to execute Johnson’s blitzes and McNabb misfiring on a handful of passes. Were the Eagles tired? They didn’t necessarily show it if they were, but don’t overlook the fact that this team had to do a lot just to make the playoffs and then a lot just to get to Glendale on Sunday. And that could have factored into how they played.

4. Larry Fitzgerald.
What else can one say that hasn’t already been said? He’s amazing, spectacular – exceptional. With all due respect to the Texans’ Andre Johnson, Fitz is the best receiver in the NFL and the adjustment he made on Kurt Warner’s under throw on a 62-yard touchdown reception in the second quarter was incredible. He’s one of the few receivers in the league that consistently goes up to get the ball at its highest point and never lets it get to his body. He’s the best.

5. Who the hell is Brent Celek?
Non-Eagle fans go ahead and raise your hand if you knew who Celek was before the game. I knew who he was, but I had no idea he could be a game-changer. The second-year tight end out of Cincinnati was the perfect complement to DeSean Jackson and Kevin Curtis in that he worked the seams and gave Donovan McNabb a solid, reliable target the entire game. He also freed Jackson and Curtis up by clearing out the Cardinal safeties, which had to adjust to him being a legitimate target as the game wore on. What a game by the youngster who has no doubt made Eagle fans forget L.J. Smith.

6. How can you not love Adrian Wilson?
Because the Cardinals have been bad for so long, Wilson has often been known as just an underrated playmaker on a brutal defense. But now that the Cards are heading to the Super Bowl, general football fans can start to appreciate just how good the eight-year veteran is – and how loyal. When Wilson was set to become a free agent at the end of the 2004 season, he could have signed with numerous teams dying for a playmaking safety and a natural born leader. But as Joe Buck and Troy Akiman noted during the broadcast, Wilson never contemplated signing with another team and reached a modest five-year, $21 million contract with the Cards. Now he’s being rewarded for his contributions to Arizona’s franchise by having the opportunity to play in the Super Bowl. If you can’t root for a guy like that than you won’t be able to root for anybody.

- DEADSPIN discusses a recent Rolling Stone article about a twentysomething female teacher (right) who had an affair with a 15 year-old wrestler/football player. There’s a double standard when it comes to female (versus male) teachers that have an affair with a student. Men are typically thrown in jail while women usually get a much lighter sentence. The article is a good read.

- LA BALL TALK is not pleased with the decision of Kobe Bryant’s website, KB24, to move to a subscription-based format. Kobe apparently wants each of his diehard fans to pony up $50 to be a member.

- NESW SPORTS has a funny video of Gary Payton (at the height of his stardom in Seattle) doing an interview about a new company he was starting, Gary Payton Wireless. That’s right — GP wanted to start a wireless phone company.

- MIDWEST SPORTS FANS has the story of the mayor of Pittsburgh changing his last name — legally — from “Ravenstahl” to “Steelerstahl.” Seriously.

- SPORTSbyBROOKS says that there’s a high school cheerleader in Florida who has sent out more than 35,000 text messages in a single month…twice. That’s 72 messages per hour, once sleep is factored in. Wowsers.

- Should Fox replace Joe Buck? One writer thinks so, and DEADSPIN comments. I have just two words to say about this — Gus Johnson.