This is just sad.

6. Disco Inferno
He looks like a gay extra from Goodfellas. WCW proved once again that it’s never way-too-late for anti-disco jokes.

5. Robocop
A fictitious robot police officer is created to fight crime in future Detroit. Or to help Sting in the Nineties. Come on.

4. The Boogeyman
FLA-VOR FLAVE!!! Or is it Darth Maul? Either way it sucks.

3. Jay Leno
A big chinned, squeaky-voiced observational comedian who likes Doritos a whole bunch? Not believable at all. What? It’s a real guy? Whoa. He sucks.

1. Tugboat
This dipshit dressed like some sort of old timey ship captain and constantly made the horn sound that tugboats make. Man, this guy really likes tugboats. This is awful.

Just brutal.

“And did you get a load of those speed-walkers? Don’t you think they probably got ribbed by the sprinters back at the Village? Don’t you think they’d be like, ‘Hey Sam, I saw you out there in your race—quite a brisk stroll you got there, Sam.’”

“Yeah, and that Usain Bolt guy, good Lord. You know he ran like a 9.6 or something like that in the 100-meter? So, I went down to the track at UCLA to see what I could get. And Jay, you know, I’m quite embarrassed to say, but I finished at just under 35 minutes.”

Here’s Nastia’s interview. Around the 3:40 mark Norm has a great line about how Nastia was robbed of a gold medal on the uneven bars:

“No offense, but that sounds like a bunch of Commie gobbledygook to me.”

Classic.