Kleenex sales went through the roof the week that the 2011 MLB All-Star Game rosters were announced. That’s because from coast to coast, everyone from media pundits to MLB managers were crying about some of Bruce Bochy’s choices for the NL squad. Two skippers in particular, the Marlins’ Jack McKeon and the Pirates’ Clint Hurdle, were publicly vocal about Bochy’s perceived favoritism to some of his own players.

I wonder what McKeon and Hurdle have to say now after the National League downed their AL counterparts 5-1 on Tuesday night. Granted, the victory was largely thanks to Prince Fielder’s three-run dinger, some solid pitching performances by the NL staff, as well as the unavailability of some of the AL’s best pitchers. But just like in the 2010 postseason, Bochy managed yet another perfect game. He was aggressive on the base paths (particularly in the fifth inning when Angels reliever Jordan Walden took the hill), he made all the right moves with his pitching staff and he played the matchups incredibly well. He also didn’t even use Tim Lincecum or Ryan Volgelsong (two pitchers in which Bochy was accused of showing favoritism), and wouldn’t have used closer Brian Wilson in the ninth had Starlin Castro and Joel Harahan not allowed two runners to reach base.

If the Marlins or Pirates somehow manage to make the World Series this year, they’ll be the host team thanks in part to Bochy. Any chance that McKeon or Hurdle pick up the phone in that instance and show their appreciation for Bochy’s hard work over the last week with the NL All-Star team?

More Quick-Hits for Wednesday:

- James Harrison shared, uh, some interesting takes on Roger Goodell in the August issue of Men’s Journal. James used the words, “crook,” “devil,” “stupid,” “puppet,” and “dictator,” while describing Goodell, then threw in an anti-gay slur for good measure. “If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it,” Harrison told the magazine. “I hate him and will never respect him.” Tell us how you really feel Eminem James.

- I wish FOX had mic’d the head groundskeeper for Tuesday night’s All-Star Game because I would have loved to have heard what he said after watching Padres closer Heath Bell tear a big divot out of the infield when he slid into the mound. “Thanks a**hole, you know someone has to repair that right? Couldn’t have ran onto the field like a normal human being, huh?”

- Don’t expect the Mets to trade Carlos Beltran as fast as they did K-Rod. Not with Jose Reyes, David Wright and Ike Davis all injured. And I don’t think Beltran is a sure-bet to land in ‘Frisco either. If I’m Scott Boras, I’m telling my client to choose an American League team to waive his no-trade clause for, so that he can show his stuff as a DH for next year.

- Apparently Mike Shanahan is set on John Beck as his starter in 2011. That makes sense considering that when he benched Donovan McNabb last year, he immediately inserted Beck as the starter to get him ready for this season. Wait…what?

- I can’t wait for the NFL lockout to end so I can see how quickly teams sign free agents. Because I refuse to believe that these teams haven’t somehow been in contact with these players throughout the last couple of months. I know league rules prohibit teams from trying to contact players, but come on – this is the NFL. You know these teams have been sneaking around for months now. It’ll be interesting to see how much time elapses from when the lockout officially ends until when a team signs that first new free agent. If it’s more than 12 hours, I’ll be shocked.

It’s been a rough couple of days for Giants closer Brian Wilson. He blew a 1-0 lead in the ninth on Thursday at Wrigley Field when he fell behind Aramis Ramirez and had to challenge the Cubs’ third baseman with a 3-2 fastball that Ramirez promptly crushed over the leftfield wall. The Cubs went on to win the game in extra innings and the Giants had to settle for a split in the four-game series.

On Friday in Detroit, Wilson was again called upon to save a 1-0 lead and again he mucked things up when he allowed a single to Tigers’ right fielder Magglio Ordonez in the bottom of the eighth. The Giants managed to score three runs in the top of ninth off a wild Detroit bullpen to make it a 4-1 game, but Wilson could only muster one out in the bottom of the inning while jamming the bases and allowing two runs.

When skipper Bruce Bochy pulled him in favor of Jeremy Affeldt, this is what the bearded one did in the dugout:

Wilson also punched a wall (which wasn’t shown in the video), making it one of the better dugout meltdowns I’ve seen in a while.

The Giants eventually hung on to beat the Tigers 4-3 so when reporters approached Wilson in the clubhouse, he was back to being his jovial self. Below is an exert from Giants beat reporter Andrew Baggarly’s blog.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Ask the wall.”

Wilson’s other deadpan gem, after he was asked if it would be difficult to have his Happy Gilmore swing played on a loop on television: “Why would it be difficult?” he said. “I squared it up.”

At least one media member took to Twitter last night to insinuate that Wilson’s freak out was all for the cameras, and maybe it was. But despite his, uh, outgoing personality, Wilson rarely shows emotion on the mound. (Anyone who actually watches the Giants and who doesn’t just insinuate things would know that.) He’s usually cool and collected, but he’s intense and obviously blowing two saves in two days would make any closer a little cranky. As long as he didn’t hurt himself, I think everyone should just enjoy the water cooler beatdown and not look too deep into Wilson’s antics.

I’ve never been one to discover YouTube clips that go viral overnight. Usually my co-worker John Paulsen sends me something on Skype or a friend e-mails me a link. And even then, I open it, I laugh (sometimes), I delete it and I move on without sending it to someone else. I’m bad when it comes to these things, which is kind of ironic considering most of my day is spent online.

With that in mind, you’ll have to excuse me for not knowing who Keenan Cahill is. For those who are also unaware, he’s the 16-year-old who has found YouTube fame by lip-syncing and dancing to pop songs on his home computer. If you go to his YouTube page, you’ll find all of his videos, including one that he did of the Ghostbusters’ theme that I thought was pretty funny.

What makes Keenan’s story touching is that he has a rare genetic disease that has stunted his growth. When he’s not traveling to L.A., France or the Bahamas, he goes to school and undergoes weekly enzyme replacement therapy that doctors hope will extend his life. You can read about his story in this Chicago Tribune article.

Since we’re a sports blog and I’m a huge Giants fan, I thought I would post one of Keenan’s latest videos (which, of course, was sent to me by a friend), where he performs Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite” with Brian Wilson and Cody Ross. The Giants put the video together as a fundraiser for Keenan and besides Wilson’s facial expressions, you have to check out Giants’ mascot “Lou Seal’s” dance moves. It’s rather amazing that a man dressed in a huge seal costume can move like that…

As a Giants fan, I just went from six to midnight watching the trailer for the new “Hard Knocks”-like documentary “The Franchise,” which will be featured on Showtime this summer.

I’m biased, but could Showtime have picked a better team to follow for its first season? Brian Wilson’s popularity has grown overnight, but there are some other great personalities on that team, including Aubrey Huff, Pat Burrell and Sergio Romo (the reliever who found himself locked in Wilson’s unmarked police car in the clip). Then you’ve got Andres Torres chucking around a freaking cinder block in the middle of the field – are you kidding me? I’m in.

Given how popular “Hard Knocks” has become, the “The Franchise” should have no problem taking off as well.

A headline like that can only involve Brian Wilson.

The 2010 MLB saves leader wore a pair of green shoes during a spring training game against the Angels on Thursday to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. He will auction off said green spikes, with all the proceeds going to help the relief efforts in Japan. (Visit his website for the deets.)

In a small twist of irony, the green kicks didn’t bring him much luck. Wilson strained a ribcage muscle in the same game and might miss Opening Day now. He will be re-evaluated on Monday and if he’s out for an extended period of time, there’s reason to believe he could start the season on the DL.

Fantasy Spin: Owners trying to prepare for their upcoming draft can probably draft Wilson with confidence, although it might not be a bad idea to snag Sergio Romo or Jeremy Affeldt with one of your last picks because they would fill in for the breaded one if need be. Affeldt collected four saves last year for the Giants, but Romo is actually the more logical choice to take over the ninth inning duties. He was lights out down the stretch last year as Wilson’s setup man, finishing with an impressive 2.18 ERA and a 5.00 K/BB ratio.

Giants’ closer Brian Wilson appeared on Thursday’s “Lopez Tonight,” which was good because that show could use a few laughs.

As usual, Wilson was nuttier than squirrel sh*t. Dressed as a sea captain (which was apparently his idea), he talked about his recent trip to Thailand and what it’s like when he doesn’t get to close a game (also known as being “dry humped” according to Wilson).

Considering he’s a walking sketch, it would be criminal if Wilson never gets to host SNL. He’s launching his own website next week (BrianWilson38.com) and has a digital short film for Major League Baseball 2k11 by 2K Sports coming out as well.

“Just living another day, my man.”

He is the real life Kenny Powers.

Years from now, when people look back on 2010, what will they remember as the defining sports moment? Uh, they can only pick one? We discovered that Tiger Woods likes to play the field and that Brett Favre doesn’t mind sending pictures of his anatomy to hot sideline reporters via text message. We found out that LeBron listens to his friends a little too much and that Ben Roethlisberger needed a serious lesson in humility. But we also learned that athletes such as Michael Vick and Josh Hamilton haven’t blown second chance opportunities (or third and fourth chances in the case of Hamilton). It was also nice to see a certain pitcher turn down bigger money so that he can play in a city that he loves.

Contributors: Anthony Stalter, John Paulsen, Paul Costanzo, Drew Ellis and Mike Farley

Tiger Woods gets around.

We hesitate to put this under “golf” because the only clubs involved were his wife’s nine-iron hitting the window of his SUV and the various establishments where Tiger wined and dined all of his mistresses…over a dozen in all. This was the biggest story of the early part of the year, but it got to the point that whenever a new alleged mistress came forward, the general public was like, “Yeah, we get it. Tiger screwed around on his wife. A lot.” He has spent the rest of the year attempting to rebuild his once-squeaky clean image, but it’s safe to say, we’ll never look at Tiger the same way.

LeBron wilts when his team needs him most.

Say the words “LeBron” and “Game 5” in the same sentence and NBA fans everywhere know exactly what you’re talking about. In the biggest game of the season, LeBron looked disinterested, going 3-of-14 from the field en route to a 120-88 blowout at home at the hands of the Celtics. There were rumors swirling about a possible relationship between LeBron’s mom and his teammate, Delonte West, and there’s speculation that LeBron got that news before tipoff and that’s why he played so poorly. Regardless of the cause, LeBron played awful in that game, and it turned out to be his swan song in Cleveland as a member of the Cavaliers. Talk about leaving a bitter taste.

You can auction off your talented son’s athletic abilities and get away with it.

The NCAA set a strange precedent this season while dealing with the Newton family. The always inconsistent and completely morally uncorrupt NCAA decided in its infinite wisdom that despite discovering that Cecil Newton shopped his son Cam to Mississippi State for $180,000, and that is a violation of NCAA rules, that Cam would still be eligible because it couldn’t be proven that he knew about it. Conference commissioners and athletic directors around the country spoke out about the decision, while agent-wannabes and greedy fathers everywhere had a light bulb go off in their own heads: As long as we say the player doesn’t know about it, it could go off without a hitch. What was Cecil’s punishment in this whole thing? Limited access to Auburn for the last two games of the season. Easy with that hammer there, NCAA. Read the rest of this entry »

If you missed Giants’ closer Brian Wilson’s recent interview with Jay Leno, then you’re welcome.

There’s an online movement trying to get “Saturday Night Live” to have Wilson on as a guest, which is a great idea. He gained a lot of national attention when the Giants made the World Series this year and as San Francisco fans know, he’s a freaking character. I would love to see what he could do in a skit with Andy Samberg.

Before the NLCS started, you almost had the sense that the Giants didn’t belong. That they weren’t supposed to be here and that they were just stopping by to pay a visit to the Phillies before Philadelphia went on to play in its third straight World Series.

Sure the Giants had Tim Lincecum starting in Game 1, but he was facing Roy Halladay. In his first postseason start of his career, “Doc” threw a no-hitter against the Reds, who arguably have a much more potent lineup than San Francisco. He was sure to slice through their lineup with the greatest of ease.

The Giants are a cute team, but you can’t get serious with them. You two have some fun, you share some laughs – but you’re not bringing them home to meet mom. The Phillies – now that’s a team you marry.

Well, apparently that cute Giants team isn’t messing around.

Thanks to huge night by Cody Ross, another stellar pitching performance by Tim Lincecum and a shutdown effort by their bullpen, the Giants beat the Phillies 4-3 in Game 1 of the NLCS on Saturday night. They knocked around Halladay for four runs on eight hits and Ross went deep twice on the Phillies’ ace to set the tone for a massive San Francisco win.

Lincecum wasn’t as dominating as he was in Game 1 of the ALDS versus the Braves, but he allowed just three runs on six hits over seven innings of work while also striking out eight. He gave up a two-run home run to Jayson Werth in the 6th to make the game 4-3, but Javier Lopez (a great mid-season add by GM Brian Sabean) and Brian Wilson (whose black beard is mesmerizing) combined to shut Philly out in the eighth and ninth to preserve the victory.

The G-Men have a long, daunting task ahead of them but this was a huge first step. To beat the Phillies’ ace in his home park and in a hostile environment was impressive. The late-season acquisition of Ross continues to pay off and don’t forget that Lincecum isn’t the only Giants’ pitcher with nasty stuff. Game 2’s starter Jonathan Sanchez took a no-hitter into the sixth inning against the Braves and his slider could limit Philly’s power. It doesn’t get any easier for Philadelphia, either.

But even if Sanchez doesn’t pitch well in Game 2 tonight, the Giants have already accomplished what they needed to do, which was win at least one game in Philly. Now that the pressure is on the Phillies to earn a split, San Fran could go a long way to making its World Series dream a reality if it can beat Roy Oswalt.

Lace ‘em up – we’ve got ourselves a series.

Like any red-blooded sports fan, there are players I root against. I’m supposed to be somewhat objective with in my job so I won’t list those players’ names, but I’m like most fans: I don’t mind seeing certain players fail.

Brooks Conrad isn’t one of those players.

I love self-made guys because they never have the best talent, they’re not flashy and they usually appreciate what they have. Conrad, the 30-year-old journeyman who was forced into regularly playing time because of injuries to Chipper Jones and Martin Prado, is a self-made player. He was a nobody until May 20, when hit his first career major league grand slam by helping the Braves beat the Reds, 10-9.

But because of his three errors in the Giants’ 3-2 come-from-behind win on Sunday in the NLDS, now Conrad is somebody. And unfortunately for him, he’s somebody for all the wrong reasons.

Conrad’s three errors tied a record for most errors in a single divisional series playoff game. Two of his errors led to Giants’ runs, including the eventual winning run when a Buster Posey routine ground ball traveled through his legs to score Aubrey Huff in the top of the ninth.

Of course, had Billy Wagner not gotten hurt in Game 2 of this series, Craig Kimbrel would have never pitched the top of the ninth on Sunday. And had Kimbrel gotten one more strike on Freddy Sanchez, the Giants’ second baseman wouldn’t have reached on a base-hit and Atlanta would be up 2-1 in the series.

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