- SPORTSbyBROOKS has photos of Vikings coach Brad Childress dressed up as a (female) flight attendant. I’m not sure that this is the way to keep the respect of your players.

- Over on ESPN, Geoff LaTulippe discusses what it’s like being a hard luck sports fan in Cleveland.

- Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach dislikes his players’ “fat little girlfriends.” Seriously. WITH LEATHER has the video.

- GAWKER has excerpts from an interview with a ticket scalper broker they found via Craigslist.

BRISTOL, CT—In what is being called the biggest gaffe in the sports network’s 30-year history, ESPN totally forgot to cover last week’s Brett Favre vs. Green Bay Packers storyline.

Favre’s legendary career with the Packers, which spanned 16 seasons, three MVP awards, and one Super Bowl title, was not mentioned even once during pregame coverage of the Monday night Packers-Vikings matchup or during the game itself. Records indicated that it wasn’t until Wednesday—more than 48 hours after Favre led Minnesota to a dramatic 30-23 victory—that producers began to feel that they may have overlooked one of sports’ most obvious storylines.

“I was looking at a newspaper, and it said, ‘Favre Sacks Former Team,’ and at that point I realized we really missed one,” ESPN president George Bodenheimer told reporters. “I just want to apologize to our viewers. Had the Favre-Packers connection dawned on us sooner, fans could have enjoyed the same quality sports journalism they have come to expect from ESPN: driving storylines into the ground and exploiting every one of their subplots to the point of nausea.”

Read the rest of the article here.

Simmons’s latest column is dedicated to the age-old question: which month is better for sports/time-wasting — April or October?

On the Russian billionaire’s purchase of the New Jersey Nets…

You know the NBA is in at least a little trouble financially when it allows a Russian billionaire to buy a team. Five or six years ago, how fast do you think David Stern squashes the idea when someone says to him, “So, I guess the best way to describe him is that he’s like a Russian Mark Cuban”? Two seconds? One second?

Which raises the question: Did Stern just open the door to all foreign billionaires, or was this a one-time thing? I’d argue that the NBA was soooooooooo desperate to fix this Nets situation and salvage the Brooklyn complex that it didn’t care where the money came from. This was a one-time exception. We need a cash buyer. Period. I think a Saudi oil sheik would have been approved as an owner. I think Tom Cruise would have been approved. I think everyone short of a Pablo Escobar-type buyer would have been approved. It’s the NBA and it’s faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan-tastic … ( … -ally in need of some cash).

On CAR Steve Smith versus NYG Steve Smith…

Right now, New York’s Steve Smith is more relevant than Carolina’s Steve Smith in every conceivable way except for one (teammate punching). He’s having a better season; he’s on a better team; and, truthfully, he might just be better. Has this situation ever happened before? Someone with the same name completely usurping that name from an established guy who plays the same position in the same sport at the same time?

Anyway, I came up with a solution: Why can’t we approach this like versions of software? Carolina Steve becomes “Steve Smith 1.0.” New York Steve becomes “Steve Smith 2.0.” Done and done.

I like it. I think I’ll start using it instead of “NYG Steve Smith.”

On Michael Jordan’s HOF induction speech…

Jordan’s original thesis was incorrect: Other than when he got cut in high school, EVERYONE believed in him. Dean Smith diagrammed the title-winning shot in 1982 for him. Bobby Knight built the 1984 Olympic team around him. Nike built an entire marketing campaign around him from day one (something it had never done before, ever). The Dream Team committee callously dropped Isiah Thomas from the team to assuage him in 1992, even though Thomas deserved to be on that team as much as anyone short of Bird and Magic. The list goes on and on and on. No athlete was coddled more than Jordan, and no athlete had a bigger disparity between “public image” and “what he was actually like.” Hell, for his entire career, Sam Smith was the only journalist with the testicular fortitude to call him out.

On why Tony Romo has bloated expectations…

Well, the name “Tony Romo” … I mean, that’s a great name. That sounds like the name of someone who is going to be such a smash hit, he’ll end up winning a couple of Super Bowls and opening a chain of BBQ restaurants. I want to root for “Tony Romo.” I want to believe that “Tony Romo” is going to come through on this game-winning drive. I want “Tony Romo” to plow through a series of hot actresses and singers. I want “Tony Romo” to stay single past retirement, develop a drinking problem and eventually hit on a sideline reporter during a live telecast before entering rehab. These are the things that “Tony Romo” should do.

This is why we projected talents for Romo that he didn’t actually have. I picked him 40th in my West Coast fantasy draft even though he didn’t have a proven No. 1 receiver. Why? Because he’s “Tony Romo”! Now, let’s say his name had been “Kyle Boller” or “Kevin O’Connell” or “Alex Smith” or “Jared Lorenzen” this whole time. Would you have believed in him? Would we have given him the same benefit of the doubt all these times when he kept gagging in big moments? I say no. We believed in Tony Romo mainly because he seemed like a good guy and he had a great name. Really, those were the only two reasons.

And, finally, on Brett Favre’s behavior during and after Monday night’s game…

And that’s the part of Monday’s game that got lost. Every Packers fan felt like how a dutiful wife would feel if she stuck with her husband through thick and thin, watched him become a success, then got dumped for a younger trophy wife who also happened to be her archnemesis. Favre failed in the same way Roger Clemens failed when he signed with the Blue Jays in 1997 — his problems with management affected his feelings toward his old franchise, and he did a piss-poor job of letting his old fan base know that he still cared about it. I have written about this before, but I turned on Clemens during his Toronto news conference when he simply refused to acknowledge Boston fans beyond a few generic words. It hurt. I took it personally and decided he was an opportunistic, disloyal, dishonest scumbag from that moment on. And as it turned out, he was.

In Favre’s case, his lack of empathy for Packers fans has been really alarming. I know he plays with his heart on his sleeve. I know he’s a “kid out there” and “having a ball out there” and all the crap. And maybe he’s not a brain surgeon, but he’s smart enough to understand what he meant to Packers fans and the state of Wisconsin, which means he had to understand how it went over after he (A) signed with an NFC North team two months ago; (B) dialed up the finger-pointing and fist-pumping during Monday’s Pack-Vikes game so egregiously that even his biggest fan fron Green Bay couldn’t defend him; and (C) gave that self-satisfied postgame interview in which he never said anything like, “I just wanted to say hi to everyone back in Wisconsin and tell them that this was as strange for me as it probably was for you, but I want you to know that it was just one game — a game that I wanted to win because I’m a competitor and I love my teammates, but still, none of this changes the fact that I love you guys and I always will.” That’s it. That’s all he had to say to Michele Tafoya after the game.

He didn’t say it.

And believe me, I’ve been there as a fan. It’s unforgivable. Especially when you’re under 30 and don’t realize that many of your “heroes” are people who don’t deserve that level of worship, or any worship, for that matter. They just play sports well. They don’t care about you. They care about themselves and that’s it. If this realization hits you at the wrong time in your life, it can be hard. (I know it was hard for me. I took the Clemens thing personally, as witnessed by the fact that I once wrote a column wondering if he was the Antichrist.) So if the Packers fans want to play along, so to speak, then they can’t cheer Favre on Nov. 1. He set the stakes. He made it clear that he’s moved on with his new team and cut all ties to the old one. That means you need to go to Lambeau and boo the living hell out of him. Make him miserable. Rattle him. Flummox him. Do everything you can to get the better of him for three hours. This man does not belong to you anymore, and maybe, he never did.

For more on how Favre has destroyed Packer fans everywhere, check out my post from last week — “How a Packer fan copes with Brett Favre.”

I’m setting the over/under on the number of sacks Vikings’ defensive end Jared Allen will have on Aaron Rodgers tonight at 2.5.

Any takers?

Allen is due for a monster night as Green Bay left tackle Chad Clifton is expected to miss his second game tonight following an ankle injury he suffered in a Week 2 loss to the Bengals.

The Packers’ offensive line has resembled a revolving door this season, allowing 12 sacks in the first three games. In their loss to Cincinnati, Green Bay made defensive end Antwan Odom look like a cross between Reggie White and Kevin Greene as he brought down Rodgers five times.

Rodgers is a fine quarterback, but his offensive line is going to get him killed if they don’t start protecting him. Considering Ryan Grant won’t find much running room against the Williams Wall tonight, it would be in Green Bay’s best interest to max-protect Rodgers the entire night. The Giants use a similar method on a weekly basis with Eli Manning and he seems to do just fine.

The Packers need to help Daryn Colledge out, because he’ll see the brunt of the work against Allen. Lining up a tight end to Allen’s side would make sense, although Green Bay might also need to set up a military-based obstacle course in between him and Rodgers just to be safe.

I’m taking the over tonight. I think Allen will eventually take this game over, especially if the Packers can’t get Grant going early. It could be a very long night for Rodgers.

The moment Brett Favre has been waiting for since Ted Thompson crapped in his cereal over 12 months ago is vastly approaching.

The Vikings host the Packers tonight at the Metrodome and Brett will no doubt be fired up to try to stick it to Thompson, as he so amply put it when the GM traded him to the Jets last year. (The fact that Favre put Thompson in a bad position with his fickle changing of the mind is still lost on Brett, but that’s a story for another time.)

The question becomes, will Brett beat Thompson’s Packers tonight?

Like most weeks, the Vikings will try to establish the run with Adrian Peterson in hopes of opening things up in the passing game. The Packers have a solid secondary, so Brad Childress would be foolish to take the ball out of Peterson’s hands early in the game and start forcing the action with Favre in the passing game. It would behoove Childress not to get wrapped up in the Favre-vs-Green Bay death match and just keep things simple with AP.

What would be interesting to see unfold is if the Packers dare Favre to beat them by loading the box with eight defenders to stop Peterson. As previously noted, Green Bay’s secondary is solid and Dom Capers could leave his corners on an island with Bernard Berrian and Percy Harvin if he wanted to sell out to stop the run.

It would be in the Packers best interest if they get into a shootout tonight. If he gets protection (which has been a major problem for Green Bay so far), Aaron Rodgers can go toe to toe with any opposing quarterback if both teams start throwing the ball vertically. A Favre-Rodgers shootout would make for great television.

But alas, shutting down Peterson is easier said then done. He’s faced eight men in the box multiple times before and has still pounded out 100-plus yards on the ground. Still, a man could hope for a Monday night shootout, right?

Comment starter: Will Favre get his revenge tonight or does Rodgers outplay his predecessor?

Back in 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. As a long time Green Bay fan (starting with Packers teams that featured Lynn Dickey, Paul Ott Carruth, Eddie Lee Ivery and a host of other players with ridiculous-sounding games), I have firsthand experience with these five stages as I’ve dealt with Brett Favre and his annual retirement dance.

In the summer of 2008, when the news leaked that Favre was interested in unretiring, I argued that the Packers should bring him back. He was coming off a stellar season and I firmly believed that he gave Green Bay the best chance to win. At this point, I couldn’t comprehend that the Packers would choose to move on without Favre and this denial quickly turned to anger as I saw just how entrenched management was in that decision.

But I wasn’t aware of a crucial fact: Favre flirted with coming back earlier in the spring and then changed his mind when head coach Mike McCarthy and general manager Ted Thompson were prepared to fly to Mississippi to discuss it. At that point, I totally understood why the Packers said ‘enough is enough’ and made the decision to cut the cord once and for all. And I understand why Favre was upset that the organization didn’t welcome him back with open arms. After all, he is one of the most iconic players ever to play in the NFL and has to have an ego to match. I figured that if he couldn’t come back and play for the Packers, then he’d make the wise decision and hang ‘em up, once and for all. This is the third stage of grief — bargaining.

Unfortunately, Favre’s anger towards the Packers quickly turned to spite as he tried to maneuver his way into either Chicago or Minnesota, the Packers’ two biggest rivals. It was obvious what was going on at the time — that Favre wanted to stick it to the Packers, specifically Ted Thompson, who made the final call (and was the one who drafted his successor) — and Favre confirmed this in a interview conducted a few months later. At this point, depression sunk in. I couldn’t believe that Brett Favre — my all-time favorite player and the guy that I would schedule my Sundays around — would risk the goodwill of the Packer faithful just to get revenge on those whom he believed wronged him. This spiteful behavior was just sad.

Finally, the Packers did him a favor and traded him to the Jets. It was still a shock to see him in the green and white instead of green and gold, but over the course of the 2008 season, I grew accustomed to seeing him in a Jets uniform and started to appreciate what he was doing in New York. Acceptance.

Clearly, the guy could (and can) still play. He had the Jets at 8-3, coming off a win at then-undefeated Tennessee, and his name was starting to come up in the MVP conversation. Even so, the more I saw of his replacement — Aaron Rodgers — the more I thought that the Packers made the right long-term decision for the franchise. Rodgers has all of the tools to be a franchise quarterback, but just needs to learn how to win, not unlike a certain #4 did in his first couple of seasons as a starter. This can only come with playing time.

A biceps injury and a Jets’ 1-4 skid later, Favre was retiring again, and no one in New York seemed all that upset to see him go. After all, they now have their own young franchise quarterback to root for. Favre accomplished his goal. He came back, proved he could still play and, more importantly, proved that he wasn’t as durable as he once was. Glad that’s over.

Raise your hand if you’re a Packer fan and this photo makes you physically ill.

Fast forward a few months and Favre, out of spite, has traded in his green and white for purple and gold, and I have to begin navigating the five stages of grief all over again.

I have a friend who is a big Vikings fan, and over the past few weeks, he always seems to want to talk about Favre. I say “who?” and pretend I don’t know who he’s referring to. I guess I was in denial.

Then, last week, it looked like the upstart 49ers might pull off an upset in the Metrodome and hang a loss on the Vikings (putting my beloved Packers in a first place tie in the NFC North). But, like Robert Brooks, Antonio Freeman and Bill Schroeder before him, Favre turns some no-name (Greg Lewis) into the biggest highlight on SportsCenter. It was a better catch than it was a throw, but Favre got most of the accolades, and I got angry. It’s one thing if he’s off playing in the AFC East, but it’s another when he’s standing between my favorite team and a division title.

Now, faced with a Monday night tilt between my Packers and my all-time favorite player, I am negotiating with the football gods in the hopes of securing two wins against the Vikings and an NFC North championship. Packer fans: if we can just get that, we’d be all right. Right?

Bargaining.

What’s next? Depression?

Not good.

The NFL Network’s Scott Hanson is reporting that Brett Favre will continue to throw and work out, despite telling Vikings head coach Brad Childress that he wants to stay retired and not play in 2009.

Via Rotoworld:

You’ve got to be kidding. Favre reportedly said he’s still not totally sure about whether he’ll stay retired or try to play, even after “confirming” he’d re-re-retire to Childress and in an ESPN interview. Asked by Steve Mariucci how he’d feel about his decision on Wednesday morning, Favre replied “I’m wondering that myself.” It wouldn’t shock us one bit if Favre “gets the itch” again and tries to come back late in camp or even after the season kicks off.

If I’m Childress and Favre calls me in a week saying that he’s ready to come back, I tell him to piss off.

Brett will always be a NFL legend for what he did in Green Bay and I, as well as many other football fans, will always admire how he played the game with such passion, reckless abandon and determination. The guy was flat out fun to watch.

That said, news of him being unsure about his decision to stay retired shouldn’t surprise anyone. Favre is more indecisive than a 15-year-old girl at the mall and I wouldn’t be shocked if he changed his mind once every day until the start of the season.

He’s just flat out incapable of making a decision without changing his mind 14 times.