Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News is a little delusional.

Either that, or my man has been getting high on peyote, because in one of his recent articles he actually suggested that the Giants have to trade Barry Zito.

And the Giants have to very seriously consider trying to trade Zito to any suitable team that will take some of his money (Zito has a no-trade clause); or they have to think about releasing him in the off-season.

Of course, at the end of this season, Zito will still be owed a guaranteed $83 million. Which is a lot.

Releasing him in the offseason might be a viable (expensive, but viable) option with Madison Bumgarner and Tim Alderson tearing up the minor leagues and possibly being ready to join the big league club next year. But what team would be stupid enough to trade for Zito and take on some of his contract as Kawakami is suggesting? Even the win-at-all-cost, spend-at-all-cost Yankees wouldn’t touch Zito, especially with Roy Halladay on the market.

Truth be told, Zito hasn’t looked as bad this year as he has the previous two seasons. When he’s supplying souvenirs to the fans sitting in the left field bleachers, he can be serviceable as a fourth or fifth starter. Of course, he’ll still be the highest paid fourth or fifth starter in baseball history, but at least the Giants will be getting something back on their brutal investment.

Either way, nothing is going to happen this year. No team is going to trade for him and with Randy Johnson on the DL the Giants aren’t going to release Zito during the season, no matter how bad he pitches the rest of the way. They could potentially move him to the bullpen (which they tried to do for about a millisecond last year), but don’t forget that he’s typically a good second half pitcher and with the Giants in contention, they’d be better off rolling the dice and leaving him in the rotation.

Better yet while the Big Unit is on the DL, the Giants could pit Zito against Jonathan Sanchez and Ryan Sadowski for the last two spots in the rotation. Loser either goes to the bullpen (Zito/Sanchez) or Triple-A (Sadowski).

If you were to have gotten Giants general manager Brian Sabean all liquored up in a private setting (I know you’re probably weirded out by the start of this sentence, but stay with me here) and asked him which players he wouldn’t mind giving up in a trade to acquire a bat, he almost certainly would have uttered this name: Jonathan Sanchez.

Hell, there’s a great chance he would have uttered that name first. But that was before Sanchez’s no-hitter against the Padres on Friday night, when he struck out 11 batters and was a Juan Uribe-error away from throwing a perfect game.

The Giants had been waiting for that kind of performance all season out of Sanchez. Granted, they weren’t expecting that good of a performance, but they did have high expectations for him coming into the 2009 season.

He did show flashes of brilliance earlier this season, most notably in a two-hit, 2-0 win over the Diamondbacks on April 17. But ’09 has mostly been a season of massive frustration for not only Sanchez, but also a Giants organization that had hoped the 26-year-old lefty would be the third leg of a tripod that also featured pitching sensations Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain.

Sanchez has always been a strikeout pitcher, but for much of this season he struggled mightily with his control and he seemed to be racking up K’s only because he was wildly effective. And when he would start to struggle during games, he appeared to be a mental midget on the mound and could never recover.

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A San Francisco Giants’ starter has thrown a no-hitter.

It must have been Tim Lincecum right?

Nope.

Matt Cain?

Nope.

Randy Johnson?!

Nope.

It wasn’t Barry Zito was it?

Absolutely not.

One night after Lincecum flirted with a similar feat, 26-year-old Jonathan Sanchez, coming off a recent demotion to the bullpen, threw a no-hitter against the Padres on Friday night as the Giants beat San Diego 8-0 at AT&T Park in San Francisco. It was the first no-hitter of the 2009 Major League season and the first Giants’ no-hitter since John Montefusco threw one in 1976.

In his nine innings of domination, Sanchez struck out 11 batters in obviously his most dominant performance of his career. He did allow a base runner, but it was due to a Juan Uribe fielding error in the eighth inning. Had Uribe not booted the play (he misplayed a bad in-between hop), Sanchez could have had a perfect game.

Speaking of fielding, Sanchez got an amazing gift from centerfielder Aaron Rowand in the ninth as he went back on a ball that was crushed by Edgar Gonzalez, leaped against the wall and made a terrific catch. Shortstop Edgar Renteria also made a fine play in the hole the play earlier.

What’s amazing is that Sanchez wasn’t even supposed to pitch tonight (relatively speaking, that is). He was taken out of the starting rotation at the end of June and replaced by Ryan Sadowski after he started the season 2-8 with a 5.54 ERA. But an injury to Johnson gave Sanchez a start tonight and he obviously took full advantage of it.

This was supposed to be Sanchez’s breakout season, but instead he struggled considerably with his control and would often get flustered after bad innings. His strikeout numbers have been consistently good, but he has been more wildly effective than anything. His name has even come up in numerous trade rumors, although considering Johnson’s injury and the fact that the Giants are in the thick of the NL Wild Card chase, they might hang onto Sanchez for the second half.

No matter what Sanchez’s future holds, this was an amazing accomplishment. The Padres don’t exactly have the most potent offense, but Sanchez isn’t exactly Cy Young either. He was absolutely phenomenal and for a young man who has had so many struggles this season, he deserved this tonight and maybe he’ll use this performance as a stepping-stone to turn things around and have a great career.

On a personal note, I was fortunate enough to watch every pitch of this game and it was absolutely thrilling as a baseball fan. They said on the broadcast that Sanchez’s dad, who had never seen his son pitch in the majors before tonight, flew to San Francisco yesterday to watch the game and was able to celebrate with Jonathan in the dugout afterward. It was a great scene.

Congratulations to Jonathan Sanchez.

SI.com compiled a ranking of the 50 highest-earning American athletes and discovered that Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson are at the top of the list.

1. Tiger Woods
Pro Golf
Last Year’s Rank: 1
Salary/Winnings: $7,737,626
Endorsements: $92,000,000
Total: $99,737,626

Tiger sacrificed millions in appearance fees during his year off to recover from knee surgery, but replaced his lucrative Buick deal — voided by mutual consent — with a new one from AT&T.

2. Phil Mickelson
Pro Golf
Last Year’s Rank: 2
Salary/Winnings: $6,350,356
Endorsements: $46,600,000
Total: $52,950,356

Like Tiger, Phil no longer counts on a car-maker in his endorsement portfolio. (Ford chose not to re-sign him.) He still has lucrative deals with Rolex, Callaway, Exxon, Barclay’s and KPMG.

3. LeBron James
Cleveland Cavaliers (NBA)
Last Year’s Rank: 3
Salary/Winnings: $14,410,581
Endorsements: $28,000,000
Total: $42,410,581

LeBron has one more season left under his deal before he can opt out. If Cleveland doesn’t show it’s Finals-worthy by next spring, expect the Knicks to come in with a huge offer.

4. Alex Rodriguez
New York Yankees (MLB)
Last Year’s Rank: 6 (tie)
Salary/Winnings: $33,000,000
Endorsements: $6,000,000
Total: $39,000,000

We’re in the middle of A-Rod’s peak earning power in his middle-loaded, 10-year megadeal: He’ll make another $33 million in 2010 and then gradually decrease to a “normal” $20 million by ‘17.

No. 5 Shaquille O’Neal
Cleveland Cavaliers (NBA)
Last Year’s Rank: 6 (tie)
Salary/Winnings: $20,000,000
Endorsements: $15,000,000
Total: $35,000,000

The Big Bargaining Chip? Regardless of his trade to Cleveland, Shaq is in the final year of the five-year, $100 million deal he signed while with Miami. It’s the largest expiring deal in the NBA.

No. 10 Peyton Manning
Indianapolis Colts (NFL)
Last Year’s Rank: 9
Salary/Winnings: $14,500,000
Endorsements: $13,000,000
Total: $27,000,000

NFL’s top endorser has distributed $500,000 in grants in ‘09 through his PayBack Foundation to charities in Indianapolis, near his alma mater (Tennessee) and his hometown, New Orleans.

It’s amazing that the highest paid NFL player (Peyton Manning) barely cracked the top 10. Granted, the NFL only has a 17-game regular season, but you’d think that for what football players put their bodies through every season that they would make more than baseball players, golfers and basketball players.

Although he is pitching well this season despite his overall numbers, seeing Zito’s name on this list at No. 26 makes me shudder. He’s the third best pitcher (maybe fourth depending on how high you value Randy Johnson) on his own club, yet he’s the 26th highest-earning American athlete. Still, it should be noted that Zito donates $400 for every strikeout that he throws to the Strikeouts for Troops charity that he created to help hospitals treat soldiers that are wounded in military operations. In fact, as the article notes, a lot of the guys on this list give thousands of dollars to charities every year and that shouldn’t be overlooked.

Most of the baseball world is chirping about the Yankees’ nine-game winning streak, the return of Dice-K in Boston and the possible landing spots for Jake Peavy now that he’s rejected a trade to the White Sox, but I’m feeling a little more pessimistic myself. That’s why I’ve compiled a list of three of the most frustrating, punch-a-hole-through-your-wall teams to watch so far in baseball this season.

(This list is in no particular order – they’re all frustrating to watch.)

1. New York Mets
I’ve never seen a team squander so much natural talent than the Mets do on a near nightly basis. I know they’re battling some injuries right now, but there’s no excuse for a lineup so chockfull of talent should be giving games away because of stupidity in the field and on the base paths. Johan Santana and the rest of the pitching staff must close their eyes and start praying every time a batter puts the ball in play because there’s a good chance that circus the Mets call a defense will blow the play somehow. And blind elephants (they exist – I looked it up) would be better on the base paths right now than most of New York’s runners.

2. Washington Nationals
Forget for a moment that this club has lost 28 of its first 40 games – the most frustrating thing about the Nationals is that they’d easily be a .500 team if they had anything resembling a pitching staff. Don’t believe me? Washington has scored the third most runs in the National League and the 11th most in all of baseball, but the pitching staff is giving up over a touchdown a game in runs. Even if the pitchers could hold opponents to five runs a game (which is certainly not unreasonable) the Nats would win most nights. Watching this team is like getting two robots for Christmas. One of the robots (let’s call him Ryan Zimmerman) functions great and does everything you want it to do, like build things. The other robot (let’s call him Scott Olsen) barely starts, you constantly have to change its batteries and even the times it does work, it only works long enough to ruin what Ryan Zimmerman Robot built.

3. San Francisco Giants
The Giants have the opposite problem of the Nationals – their pitching staff is solid, but their offense couldn’t score runs if every batter started with a 3-1 count. In Jonathan Sanchez’s last start, he gave up two hits and lost. Barry Zito has gotten a whopping 2.5 runs a game when he pitches. Not even NL Cy Young winner Tim Lincecum can cure what ails the Giants’ offense this season. San Fran is also the only team in baseball that doesn’t have a home run yet from its first base position. When any combination of Rich Aurilia, Eugenio Velez and Emmanuel Burriss is due up in the ninth inning, Giants fans might as well just turn the channel because a rally isn’t coming. Manager Bruce Bochy should start forfeiting games as soon as the Giants get down 2-0, because there’s no conceivable way that they’re going to come back from that insurmountable deficit and he might as well save his pitching staff. Watching the Giants try to hit is the equivalent to taking a nail gun and shooting it through your eyelids.

I’m sure Astros, Pirates and Rockies fans will have something to say about this, which I welcome in the comments section. Come on – get out your frustrations!

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Offseason Movement: The G-Men added a solid piece to their starting rotation in former Cy Young-winner Randy Johnson. The club also signed free agent Edgar Renteria to play shortstop, and added Jeremy Affeldt and Bob Howry in hopes to strengthen their bullpen. Rich Aurilia and Josh Phelps were given minor league contracts, although Phelps was already reassigned to minor league camp.

Top Prospect: Madison Bumgarner, LHP
Who would have thought that the farm system that produced Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Brian Wilson and Jonathan Sanchez would have a pitcher as its top prospect? While catcher Buster Posey, corner infielder Angel Villalona and starter Tim Alderson deserve mention here, Bumgarner earns the Giants’ top prospect tag for his “ace� potential. While he isn’t expected to take Lincecum’s No. 1 spot any time soon, Bumgarner could turn out to be a San Fran’s No. 2 in the next couple seasons. He dominated his first full year in the minors after being selected in the first round out of high school, posting a 1.46 ERA in A-ball. He has a fastball that reaches 97 mph and once he develops his secondary pitches, Bumgarner should make his first big league appearance in no time.

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Tony LaRussa is much more than a World Series-winning manager and current skipper of the St. Louis Cardinals. Along with his wife Elaine, Tony is also is the founder of a foundation that reaches out to animals that are very much in need.

Tony and Elaine started Animal Rescue Foundation (or ARF) in 1991. The goal of ARF is to find families for adoptable animals before they become euthanized and according to the foundation’s website, the foundation now has a 4-star rating by Charity Navigator, which is America’s largest charity evaluator. Considering only 25 percent of charities reach a 4-star rating, it’s quite an achievement.

This Sunday, January 18, Tony will host “Stars to the Rescue�, which is an event that benefits ARF and other St. Louis area animal non-profits. “Stars to the Rescue� will be held at 6:30 p.m. at the Chaifetz Arena on the campus of St. Louis University and will feature music and entrainment such as country music star Vince Gill, rockers Huey Lewis and The News, Kevin Cronin and Dave Amato from REO Speedwagon, as well as comedians Lewis Black and Kathleen Madigan, and 2008 CMA Horizon Award winner Lady Antebellum. For tickets and general information, please call Metrotix at 314-534-1111, or visit the foundation’s website at www.arf.net.

Tony was gracious enough to sit down with us recently to talk about “Stars to the Rescue�, ARF, and whether or not he would ever consider concentrating solely on his charitable work in the wake of Tony Dungy retiring from coaching to work more on his off-field contributions.

We also had the opportunity to ask him some baseball questions, including what it meant to add shortstop Khalil Greene this offseason, how the Cards look heading into the new season and what the health status was of Albert Pujols.

Apparently Manny Ramirez-to-the-Giants was all just one big c*ock tease for San Fran fans that were hoping the club would add some offense.

According to one source familiar with the Giants’ thinking, just about every recent rumor connecting the Giants with Manny is “unfounded” or “baloney.”

“If a million things came together over the next few weeks, would it be possible? Maybe,” the source told ESPN.com. “But for where [Boras] is right now and where the team is right now, it doesn’t make sense economically and it doesn’t make sense for how the team fits together.”

And the Giants, according to multiple sources, have no interest in pursuing Ramirez or any other free agent looking for large dollars and multiple years. Even reports connecting them with free-agent third baseman Joe Crede, another Boras client, have been exaggerated, sources say.

Industry sources estimate that the Giants’ payroll, with no other additions or subtractions, is already likely to be north of $85 million — and would be more than $90 million if you include deferred money owed to Barry Bonds. That’s already significantly higher than last year’s payroll (about $77 million) and close to the highest in team history.
So signing Ramirez would push them well beyond $100 million. And multiple sources indicate there is virtually no scenario that would allow them to maintain a payroll in that range.

“They fit because they need the bat,” one NL executive said. “They’re one hitter away from being a real good team. But how do they go to $100 million to add that bat? I don’t think there’s any way that happens.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: how does Brian Sabean still have a job? The guy developed some of the best young pitching talent in the ML, yet successfully combined it with the worst offense known to mankind. And the reason why the Giants’ payroll is so high is because the goofball (I’m referring to Sabean here) gave ridiculous contracts to Barry Zito, Dave Roberts ($18 mil, Sabean? Really?) and Rich Aurilia two years ago.

The guy must have dirt on every person in the Giants’ front office because he should have been gone years ago. And Manny’s going back to L.A. It’s the only logical fit at this point.

Since the Denver Post reported that the San Francisco Giants were interested in signing free agent Manny Ramirez, I’ve been battling with myself on a daily basis on whether or not they should go through with acquiring the dreaded one.

So here is what’s been going on in my head lately. (Scary thought, I know.)

Me: With their pitching staff, the Giants would be instant contenders in a weak NL West if they signed Manny.

Me: The Giants already had a dysfunctional left fielder that could hit but couldn’t field. Remember?

Me: I know, but it’s Manny! The guy is still one of the best hitters in the league and the Giants need offense like Ally Mcbeal needs a sandwich!

Me: That’s your pop culture reference? Ally freaking Mcbeal? That’s pretty weak.

Me: I couldn’t think of anything else.

Me: If they sign Manny, what do they do with Fred Lewis? He finally had a breakthrough season last year and if the Giants signed Manny, there would be no room for him considering Randy Winn (a .300 hitter with good range in the outfield) and Aaron Rowand (big contract) are already taking up space in the outfield. Manny plays the one position the Giants already have depth at – corner outfield.

Me: True. And I do like Lewis. But considering Manny, Winn and Rowand are all in their 30s, Freddie would get a fair amount of at bats.

Me: This is how you rebuild? By giving your younger players “a fair amount of at bats�?

Me: Yeah but it’s Manny! His mere presence in the lineup would make Winn, Rowand, Bengie Molina and Pablo Sandoval better!

Me: He would turn the clubhouse upside down and eventually cause friction.

Me: I…don’t…care. I’m tired of seeing this team score three runs (on a good night) a night and it would severely weaken the Dodgers.

Me: That’s true – it would stick it to those bastard Dodgers.

Me: Yes! And hey, we’re not talking about a long-term deal here. Brian Sabean could sign Manny to a two-year deal with a club option for a third season and then we could part ways before he hits 40.

Me: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense! Okay, yeah! Yeah – sign Manny to a two-year deal Sabean!

Me: Of course, Sabean probably wouldn’t sign him to just a two-year deal. He would probably give him Barry Zito-type money and a Barry Zito-type length of contract. Manny would be a Giant well into his 40s.

Me: F’n Sabean! That ass clown has been living off the Jeff Kent trade for years!

Me: Maybe they should just stay away from Manny.

Me: Maybe.

Me: Or maybe…

Among all the moves, be they trades or free agent signings, the biggest non-signing of the MLB Hot Stove off-season has been that Manny Ramirez remains without a team. Actually he hasn’t even had an offer besides the Dodgers’ two-year, $45 million offer back in November. But last night, the Dodgers and beleaguered outfielder Andruw Jones (*) parted ways, freeing up some more money on their payroll to offer Ramirez. Manny fits well on that team and with Joe Torre’s easy demeanor. And he can loaf a bit more in between raking the ball all over Dodger Stadium. We’ll see, but with the Yanks signing Mark Teixeira, and the Angels focusing on their bullpen by signing Brian Fuentes, there are less attractive options for Manny other than remaining in La La Land.

In addition to the Teixeira Fuentes signings, Randy Johnson was inked by the Giants. This works out well for the Big Unit, who wanted to play in California and can easily reach 300 victories since he currently has 295. If only Barry Zito started pitching like Oakland Barry Zito, this staff would be looking damn good right now.

So one of the problems with the stalled Jake Peavy to Chicago trade talks was that the Padres wanted infielder Mark DeRosa and Cubs’ GM Jim Hendry balked at that. Well, Hendry had no problem shipping DeRosa to Cleveland for three minor leaguers, did he? I think there is more to that Peavy story than what we’re being told. I don’t know what, but somebody doesn’t like somebody somewhere, and my guess is there is an agent in that conversation.

So Derek Lowe doesn’t want to pitch for the Mets at three years, $36 million? Are you kidding me? How is that guy worth more than $12 million per season at 35 years old? Dude apparently wants a four or five year, $90 million deal. Good luck with that, Derek. Meanwhile the Mets are turning their attention back to in-house free agents Oliver Perez and Pedro Martinez, as well as less expensive options like Jon Garland or Randy Wolf.

* Omar Minaya, if you are reading this, DO NOT invite Jones to spring training. I know the Dodgers are paying his way in 2009, but the guy can’t hit his way out of a paper bag (the stats don’t lie…..158 batting average with 76 strikeouts in just 209 at-bats). Thank you for your attention to this matter.