Listen to the crock that is coming out of Antwan’s Odom’s lawyer after the NFL suspended the defensive end for four games after he violated the league’s policy on performance-enhancing drugs.

From ESPN.com:

“Antwan did not take a steroid or any other performance enhancing substance,” Cornwell said in a statement. “While driving after midnight from Alabama to Cincinnati to report to training camp, Antwan’s wife mistakenly opened her prescription pill bottle instead of Antwan’s and gave him one of her prescription weight-loss pills instead of Antwan’s medicine. Naturally, Antwan’s preseason urine test was positive for his wife’s medicine.”

Are you serious? This is the best that Odom and his lawyer could come up with? His wife accidentally gave him one of her prescription weight loss pills instead of his medicine? Come on.

I could only imagine how that conversation must have gone between Odom and his wife.

“Sit down, honey. Listen, I tested positive today for PEDs.”

“Oh no, Antwan – what’s going to happen?”

“Well, I’m going to get suspended four games, but I’m going to appeal the test and maybe I can avoid a suspension.”

“Well that’s good!”

“Yeah, that is good – real good. But I’m going to need you to take the fall here.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I’m going to need you to tell everyone that you accidentally gave me some weight loss pills that were yours. My lawyer and I even figured out a date and a time when you could have done this.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Crazy in love…with you. And if you’re crazy in love with me, you’ll do this one little thing.”

“You and your lawyer are both idiots.”

“No doubt. You in?”

Although hey, maybe the story is true.

According to the Baltimore Sun, Ochocinco sent gift baskets containing deodorant to the Ravens’ secondary and to linebackers Terrell Suggs and Ray Lewis.

Chad Ochocinco, the Bengals’ flamboyant wide receiver, said today on 105.7 FM that he sent gift baskets containing deodorant to the Ravens’ secondary and to linebackers Terrell Suggs and Ray Lewis.

“I not only sent them gift baskets, but I sent them something they could use so they don’t sweat,” Ochocinco said.

The Ravens and Bengals meet at 1 p.m. Sunday in Cincinnati.

Ray had this to say in response:

Not to take the fun out of this post, but I don’t think it was wise for Ocho to poke an angry dog with a stick. Considering the source, I’m sure Baltimore won’t get too riled up over the gift baskets, but the Ravens already have revenge on their minds after the Bengals beat them a couple weeks ago at their home turf and will desperately be seeking a win this weekend.

I think this is the week the Bengals start missing what Antwan Odom brought to the field. They didn’t need him in their Week 7 trouncing of the Bears, but the Ravens’ offense has been firing on all cylinders and just routed a good Denver defense last Sunday. Even for how good Cincinnati’s defense is, they still need the front four to generate some pressure or else Joe Flacco will pick them apart.

Some of the candidates for NFL MVP strengthened their case last weekend and some did not. Of course, some also were on bye, maybe hurting their chances but not helping the ones ahead of them who had poor performances. Here is an update on the MVP power rankings through Week 5…

1. Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts—Manning did nothing to hurt his standing here against Tennessee last Sunday, throwing for 309 yards with 3 more TDs, and leading his team to a 5-0 mark going into the bye week.

2. Eli Manning, New York Giants—Remember all the talk about how this guy wasn’t worth his huge new contract? Well, little brother is making his own case for MVP with a 111.7 QB rating, second only to Peyton, and 10 TDs to just 2 picks. And he only played two quarters last Sunday with a bad foot and still turned in a near-perfect performance. Dude is on fire.

3. Brett Favre, Minnesota Vikings—He wasn’t as flashy against the Rams after that emotional win over Green Bay, but the fact remains that the Vikings would not be 5-0 without Favre, and that’s the definition of MVP.

4. Jared Allen, Minnesota Vikings—He was already having an MVP season but then added a fumble return for a TD last Sunday. He’s at least the best defensive player this year.

5. Cedric Benson, Cincinnati Bengals—With all due respect to Adrian Peterson, Cedric does not have Steve Hutchinson to run behind and he’s currently leading the NFL in rushing with 487 yards, and has 3 scores.

Honorable Mention: Drew Brees, Saints; Adrian Peterson, Vikings; Elvis Dumervil, Broncos; Antwan Odom, Bengals, Matt Ryan, Falcons; Steve Smith, Giants

We’re going to start something new this week….individual power rankings in the NFL for MVP, coach of the year and rookie of the year. We may expand this to separate entries, since frankly it’s difficult picking just three of each. But here is what we’re thinking so far after the first quarter of the season….

MVP

1. Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts—With all due respect to Drew Brees and Peyton’s little brother, there is no way in hell the Colts would be 4-0 without Peyton. And he’s doing it with young receivers not named Harrison and Gonzalez.

2. Brett Favre, Minnesota Vikings—Favre mostly handed off to his stud RB Adrian Peterson the first two weeks, then made himself comfortable with a game winning pass with 2 seconds left against the Niners, and a fierce performance including 3 TDs against his former employer Monday night. Again, without Favre, is this team 4-0? Probably not.

3. Steve Smith, New York Giants—Are you kidding me? This guy has not only made everyone forget about Plaxico Burress, but he’s on pace to catch 136 passes, which would be second in NFL history for a single season. Smith is the only receiver in the league averaging 100 yards per game (102.8) and has 4 scores.

Honorable Mention: Drew Brees, Saints; Adrian Peterson, Vikings; Jared Allen, Vikings; Elvis Dumervil, Broncos; London Fletcher, Redskins; Antwan Odom, Bengals

Coach of the Year

1. Josh McDaniels, Denver Broncos & Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati Bengals—This one is a tie because each coach is connected by that one play at the end of Game 1, which, if it went the other way, Lewis would be 4-0 and McDaniels 3-1. But the bottom line is, each of these teams has pretty much shocked the football world to this point.

2. Mike Singletary, San Francisco 49ers—The 3-1 Niners are a Brett Favre clutch play away from being 4-0. We all knew they’d be improved, but raise your hand if you expected a 2.5 game lead in the division at this stage.

3. Rex Ryan, New York Jets—With a rookie quarterback, the Jets stormed out to 3-0 until being halted by the white hot Saints. Ryan has this team believing in defense.

Honorable Mention: Sean Payton, Saints; Tom Coughlin, Giants; Jim Caldwell, Colts; and heck, Brad Childress should get a nod for having the balls to coax Favre back.

Rookie of the Year

1. Mark Sanchez, New York Jets—Before last weekend, this guy was reminding New Yorkers of Joe Namath. And that’s really saying something.

2. Matthew Stafford, Detroit Lions—Okay, so he’s not killing it, but he’s had his team in more than just the game they won.

3. James Laurinaitis, St. Louis Rams—One of the lone bright spots on a pathetic team, Laurinaitis has 25 solo tackles and 9 assists to lead all rookies.

Honorable mention: Knowshon Moreno, Broncos; Kenny Britt, Titans