- FIVE TOOL TOOL lists 10 teams that are possible landing spots for Terrell Owens.
- EPIC CARNIVAL has video of Tonya Harding bitching about Barack Obama referencing her in a campaign speech. (In case you were wondering, she still has hillbilly hair.)
- Via SPORTSBYBROOKS, Tony Mandarich describes how he cheated on his steroid piss tests. To think, the Packers drafted this guy ahead of Barry Sanders. Brilliant!
- I completely agree with DEADSPIN’s assessment of a Wisconsin high school cracking down on “negative cheering.” Life is tough and kids need to be ready for it. (Besides, I am nothing without my “On you, on you, douche bag!” cheer when someone commits a foul.)
Remember the Swedish wrestler who protested his bronze medal by leaving it at the podium in the Beijing Olympics? Well apparently he wants the medal reinstated, but an Olympic court told him to shove off.
The sporting world’s highest court on Monday rejected an appeal by Swedens’ Ara Abrahamian to have his Olympic bronze medal for wrestling reinstated.
The Court of Arbitration for Sport said that Abrahamian’s behaviour was “in breach of the Olympic Charter and of the IOC Protocol Guide” when the wrestler discarded his medal in protest during the Beijing Olympics.
Abrahamian was subsequently stripped of his medal.
“Such behaviour was not justified, even though the athlete had the personal conviction that several sporting decisions related to his semi-final at the Olympic Games were not correct,” said the CAS.
Abrahamian dumped his bronze medal on the floor in protest at the judging in the Greco-Roman wrestling event and was subsequently disqualified from the Beijing Olympics last year.
Abrahamian thought he had beaten Andrea Minguzzi, the eventual gold medalist, in the semi-finals, but the match was awarded to the Italian.
The Swede grudgingly climbed the podium after finishing third in the 84kg class but he left the medal at the centre of the competition mat before stalking off with his fist raised.
Nice stand, guy. You throw a tantrum, protest your medal by leaving it behind and then months later you ask for it back? Come on, bro. If you want to make a stand, then make a stand. Don’t backpedal after you realized you overreacted.
- PACMAN JONESIN’ has the story of the sheriff in Richland County, South Carolina that is threatening to bring criminal charges against Michael Phelps for smoking the weed.
- SPORTSBYBROOKS informs us that multi-millionaire Tiger Woods doesn’t tip. Ever. (Is he secretly Australian?)
- FOX SPORTS lists the top 10 Super Bowl commercials.
- DEADSPIN has video of an escape artist nearly dying of drowning during the intermission of a recent Oklahoma City Thunder game. (Not for kids.)
- PLAYBOY.COM has chosen their finalists for the sexiest sportscaster. Vote for your favorite today! I kind of like this Charissa Thompson gal.
- FANIQ says that we shouldn’t underestimate the benefit of the Cardinals having Ben Roethlisberger’s old coach on their sideline.
- FULL COUNT PITCH can’t believe it, but they’re saying that Jeff Kent deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.
- Remember that Olympic gymnast hottie Alicia Sacramone? Well, THE BIG LEAD tells us that she now has a boyfriend. And they have the pictures to prove it. Bummer.
- THE THUNDER RUN informs us that the NFL is not going to allow the military color guard to stay and watch the Super Bowl after they’re done with their duties. Unbelievable.
- FAU SPORTS has video of head coach Mike Jarvis getting kicked out of a recent game in front of one of the most famous Florida Atlantic alum, porn star Mary Carey. The play resulted in a 10-point swing and resulted in a loss for FAU.
After a month of gathering more than 10 million votes, Askmen.com just released their Top 99 Women list for 2009. Anyone ready and willing to waste some time at work, you’ve got to check this thing out because as expected, there are some knockouts on the list.
Here are a couple ladies from the sports world to wet your appetite:
#26 Olympian Leyrn Franco:
#39 Former WWE star Stacy Keibler
#73 MMA Fighter Gina Carano
#83 Tennis star Maria Sharapova
#91 Race Car Driver Danica Patrick
#96 Tennis hottie Ana Ivanovic
I won’t spoil who’s No. 1, but hot-ass Marisa Miller is in the top 10, so that’s good enough for me.
Boy, is Danica Patrick’s stock slipping or what? She seems to be turning into the Anna Kournikova of the racing world, although at least she did win one major race (out of 64 starts…but still).
Fox Sports put together a good list of the top sports stories that didn’t happen in 2008.
The 10th-seeded Wildcats should have toppled Kansas in the Midwest Regional Final. Down by two points, Davidson had the final possession. It was a good three-point shooting team. All the Wildcats had to do was get somebody free to knock down the decisive trey. With one more bucket, they would have furthered the legend of March Madness.
Alas, Davidson guard Jason Richards took the last shot and clanked it. The Jayhawks escaped, 59-57, then went on to win the national title. Had Davidson done the right thing, North Carolina coach Roy Williams would not have attended the championship game as a KU fan. That was uncomfortable for everybody.
“You dream about that type of stuff when you’re a little kid, having the opportunity to win the game, take your team to the Final Four,” Richards said of his last shot. But this dream didn’t come true. “I had a great look,” he said. “Maybe you could say we could have gotten a better shot. At that point, it seemed like the best shot for us. My team had confidence in me. Unfortunately, I just missed the shot and fell short.”
- DEADSPIN says that Brett Favre was a dealbreaker in the Bill Cowher-to-the-Jets talks. [DEADSPIN]
- KISSING SUZY KOLBER (great name for a blog, btw) has unearthed some old footage from Morten Andersen’s television show back in 1994 (where he interviews a few NFL cheerleaders), complete with snarky, blow-by-blow commentary. [KISSING SUZY KOLBER]
- SPORTSbyBROOKS gives all the gory details about Charles Barkley’s recent citation for DUI. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]
- BOOSH MAGAZINE has a list of the not-so-spectacular athletes from 2008. [BOOSH MAGAZINE]
- In the wake of the Mike Shanahan firing, IN GAME NOW has a collection of funny expressions from Skeletor (a.k.a. “Rat” Shanahan). [IN GAME NOW]
- THE LOVE OF SPORTS has video of Reggie Evans being called for a technical after slapping Kyle Korver on the tookus. [THE LOVE OF SPORTS]
- SPORTSbyBROOKS reports that swimmer Michael Phelps can’t decide whether or not he has a girlfriend. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]
At the end of the year, it’s always interesting to look back at all that has happened in the world of sports over the last 12 months. 2008 brought us a host of compelling sports stories, including the culmination of the Patriots’ (unsuccessful) quest for perfection, a Bejing Olympics that featured incredible accomplishments by the likes of Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt and the Redeem Team, and, of course, Brett Favre’s unretirement, which managed to hold the sports news cycle hostage for a solid month or more.
As is our tradition, we’ve once again broken our Year End Sports Review into three sections. The first is “What We Learned,” a list that’s packed with a number of impressive feats. And when there are feats, inevitably there are also failures.
The New England Patriots weren’t so perfect after all.
After rolling through the 2007 regular season unscathed, the Patriots entered the 2008 Super Bowl as overwhelming favorites to roll over the pesky, but seemingly inferior New York Giants. The Pats were just one win away from staking their claim as the best football team in NFL history. But thanks to a dominating Giants’ defensive line, an improbable catch by David Tyree, and a virtually mistake-free performance by Eli Manning, the unbeatable New England Patriots were beat. It’ll go down as one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl history, and considering Tom Brady’s season-ending injury in 2008 cost the Pats a chance for redemption, it seems that many have forgotten how New England stood just one win away from perfection. – Anthony Stalter
Michael Phelps is part fish.
Eight gold medals in one Olympiad? No problem. Michael Phelps made the seemingly impossible look (relatively) easy en route to one of the most – if not the most – impressive Olympic performances ever. Phelps had to swim all four strokes, compete in both sprint and endurance races, and deal with the constant media attention and pressure that came along with his quest. Sure, NBC turned up the hype, but what Phelps accomplished is simply incredible. – John Paulsen
Usain Bolt is part cheetah.
First, Usain Bolt made Jamaica proud by setting a new world record (9.69) in the 100-meter sprint. Then, he broke the 12 year-old 200-meter world record with a time of 19.30 seconds. He showboated during the first race but cleaned up his act to win the second race in a professional manner. Some even say that Usain Bolt – not Michael Phelps – was the biggest story to come out of the Bejing Olympics. – JP
The Big 12 has the best quarterbacks in the nation.
The Big 12 housed some of the best quarterbacks in all of college football in 2008. Texas’s Colt McCoy, Oklahoma’s Sam Bradford, Missouri’s Chase Daniel and Texas Tech’s Graham Harrell were all considered Heisman candidates at least at one point during the season, while McCoy and Bradford are still in the running. Amazingly, Bradford and McCoy aren’t done; both will return in 2008. And although they don’t receive as much attention as the top signal callers in the conference, Kansas’s Todd Reesing and Baylor’s Robert Griffin certainly turned heads this year as well. In fact, the highly versatile Griffin is only a freshman and could make the Bears a very dangerous team for years to come. – AS
While every year has its own host of surprises, there are always those stories that simply fit the trend. Sure, it can get repetitive, but if we don’t look back at history aren’t we only doomed to repeat it? Every year has its fair share of stories that fell into this category, and 2008 was no different.
Our list of things we already knew this year includes the BCS’ continued suckiness (Texas-Oklahoma), how teamwork wins championships (KG, Pierce and Ray-Ray), and the #1 rule for carrying a handgun into a nightclub – don’t use your sweatpants as a holster. (Come on, Plax. Really? Sweatpants?)
The biggest story of the summer was all the drama surrounding Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. This saga has been covered to death, but there’s one detail that never seemed to get that much play. At the start, it looked like the Packers were making a bad decision by moving on so quickly even when Favre decided he wanted to return. But when the news broke about Favre’s near-unretirement in March, the Packers stance became much more clear. They were ready to take him back after the owners’ meetings, but he called it off at the last minute. At that point, the Packer brass was understandably finished with Brett Favre, much to the chagrin of a good portion of the Packer faithful. – John Paulsen
The Chicago Cubs’ title drought is not a fans-only phenomenon.
The 2008 Cubs were easily the best team the franchise has assembled in decades, but they still couldn’t win a single game in the playoffs, and the reason is simple: the pressure finally got to them. Sure, they said the right things to the press about how they didn’t care about what had happened in the past, but don’t believe a word of it; there wasn’t a single person in that dugout that wasn’t fantasizing about being part of the team that finally, mercifully, ended the longest title drought in sports history. Once ESPN picked them to win it all, however, they were doomed. Ryan Dempster walked seven batters in Game 1, which matched his total for the month of September. The entire infield, including the sure-handed Derrek Lee, committed errors in Game 2. Alfonso Soriano went 1-14 with four strikeouts in the leadoff spot, while the team as a whole drew six walks and struck out 24 times. The team with so much balance in the regular season suddenly became the most one-dimensional team in baseball; take Game 1 from them, then sit back and watch them choke. And now that this group has lost six straight playoff games (the team has lost nine straight dating back to 2003), it isn’t about to get any easier. Get a helmet, Cubs fans. – David Medsker
If you’re going to wear sweatpants to a nightclub, leave the gun at home.
If winning a Super Bowl is the pinnacle of an NFL player’s career, than shooting yourself with your own gun in a nightclub has to be rock bottom. Case in point: Plaxico Antonio Burress. Just 10 months after helping the New York Giants beat the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII, Burress accidentally shot himself in the leg while at a nightclub. Apparently the (unregistered) gun was slipping down his leg and when he tried to grab it to keep it from falling, the lucky bastard wound up pulling the trigger and shooting himself. And that wasn’t the worst of it because as Plaxico found out, New York has some of the toughest gun laws in the nation. He was arrested, but posted bail of $100,000 and is scheduled to return to court on March 31, 2009. If convicted of carrying a weapon without a license, he faces up to three and a half years in jail. He shouldn’t expect special treatment, either. The mayor of New York wants to be sure that Burress is prosecuted just like any other resident of NYC. The Giants, meanwhile, placed him on their reserve/non-football injury list and effectively ended his season. While “Plax” definitely deserves “Boner of the Week” consideration for his stupidity, what’s sad is that in the wake of Washington Redskins’ safety Sean Taylor’s death, most NFL players feel the need to arm themselves when they go out. Maybe players can learn from not only Taylor’s death, but also Burress’s accident so further incidents can be avoided. – Anthony Stalter
The Love Of Sports paid tribute to our neighbors to the north by ranking their top 20 favorite Canadian athletes.
Fair warning to hockey nation – the writer chose not to list any players from the NHL because he says that would have been too easy. You won’t find Steve Nash’s name on the list either, so don’t look or get pissed off when you don’t see it.
5. Bronko Nagurski, NFL Hall of Famer
Nagurski was one of the inaugural inductees to the NFL Hall of Fame who played on both sides of the ball. He was also one hell of a professional wrestler and has the largest NFL Championship ring in the history of NFL Championship rings at size 19½. He hails from Rainy River, Ontario.
4. Jacques Villeneuve, Auto Racing
His dad Gilles could make the list too, but this list is for the Internet age and that’s the time of Jacques. He was the 1995 CART Series Champion, winner of the 1995 Indy 500 and the 1997 Formula One Championship. Villeneuve also was part of the Peugeot team that finished second in this year’s 24 Hours of Le Mans and has even started to make a foray into NASCAR. One of the best drivers of the last 20 years, regardless of series, Villeneuve hails from Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu, Quebec.
3. Mike Weir, Golfer
The little lefty who won the Masters before Phil Mickelson ever donned a green jacket is a proud Canuck from Bright’s Grove, Ontario, and a valuable member of the President’s Cup team every other year.
2. Lennox Lewis, Boxer
The best heavyweight champion of the last 10 years was raised in Kitchener, Ontario and won a Gold Medal under the Maple Leaf long before he moved back to England. While he fought under the British flag as a professional, Lewis will always be a Canadian in my eyes.
1. Ferguson Jenkins, Hall of Fame Pitcher
The 1971 Cy Young winner is the pride of Chatham, Ontario, a city I was able to call home for a number of years and was able to meet the three-time All-Star. Elected to the Hall of Fame in 1991, Jenkins is the only Canadian in the Hall (so far) and is one of only four pitchers to ever strike out 3,000 batters while amassing fewer than 1,000 walks. As an added bonus, Fergie played once played with the Harlem Globetrotters. Beat that!
Brian Burke, Executive Director and General Manager of USA Hockey, admitted this weekend that Toronto Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson is the leading candidate to coach Team USA in the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. Many in the hockey community feel this duo’s drive and fire for the game could lead the Americans to a gold medal.
The connection between Burke and Wilson began as teammates at Providence College 35 years ago and their bond and mutual respect for one another is still strong today. Privately, both men have long wanted to work together to rebuild a NHL franchise.
Burke is a leader with drive and purpose, and he has a vision for how an organization is to court success. Wilson is an old school coach in terms of his stern and demanding style, but he brings a sense of levity to the locker room that keeps the players at ease. There is no retreat in either’s character, so you can expect constructive arguments between the two on the structure of the U.S. team roster.
Each professes that a team must have quality play from the backline, but they also understand tough, physical players are just as important as skilled, crowd-pleasing scorers. In his initial press conference, Burke mentioned that this is the deepest talent pool that has ever been available to USA Hockey.
Wilson is equipped to handle the media pressure associated with the Olympics, as he coached the Americans to a victory in the 1996 World Cup of Hockey. He still points to that championship as one of his greatest thrills in his professional career, and he recently became the 11th coach in league history to win 500 games.
If this duo does indeed collaborate for the Vancouver Games, expect good things from Team USA.
Some call him “The Greatest Olympian of All Time,” while others simply call him Michael Phelps. He recently sat down with Men’s Fitness for an interview.
Since winning a record eight gold medals at this summer’s Olympic games, Michael Phelps has rocketed to international stardom with an appearance on Saturday Night Live, tons of endorsement offers, and an impressive list of pro-athlete pals. Lucky for us, Phelps dropped by the Men’s Fitness office to give MF the lowdown on his training, supplements, and what he’s been up to since making history.
Have you done much swimming since Beijing?
Nothing. I’ve never taken a break before. I’ve gone 12 years of pretty much straight work. My coach said after 2008 I could do whatever I want. I was like, ‘Alright, well, I’m not going to swim for a few months then.’ It’s tough. It’s weird. You go from having something as a part of your everyday life to waking up and doing absolutely nothing. I’ll wake up and say, ‘Hmm, what am I going go to do today? Lets see what’s on TV.’
Do you have a time-line for when you’re going to start training again?
Oh, I don’t know. Just getting back in shape is the biggest thing. January or February is when I’ll start. It’s weird, because I go from swimming pretty much every day of my life to not really doing anything. It’s a little strange. I kind of miss having some kind of routine. I used to wake up at 6:30 every day and go work out and then come back and go to bed. Now I don’t get up until noon and don’t really have a set schedule.
Deadspin had a post today about Chinese ping ponger Wang Hao, who got into an altercation with a security guard while peeing outside of a karaoke club. Allegedly, he said the following to the guard:
“I am the famous Wang Hao! I am the world champion! Does it matter if I beat you?” shouted the 24-year-old, according to a witness quoted by the papers.
That’s just an awesome quote. Wang Hao is my hero. I am totally going to the karaoke club this weekend (if I can find one) and urinate outside in his honor. Hopefully, a security guard will confront me and I can repeat Wang’s Words. It would be the highlight of my life (or at least my week, anyway).
Two-time gold medalist (and possibly the best volleyball player in the world) Misty May-Treanor underwent surgery on the Achilles tendon that she tore while practicing for “Dancing With the Stars.”
Her rep tells PEOPLE the surgery was “successful” and that “she is currently at home recovering. Her husband, Matt [Treanor] is with her.”
Doctors estimate it will take approximately nine months of recovery and rehabilitation before May-Treanor can return to the volleyball court.
The doctors went on to theorize that years of “lugging around a more than ample derrier” [picture] may have caused the Achilles to compress and weaken, making it susceptible to injury.
This occurred to me during the Bejing Olympic Games, but I was reminded of it with all the hoopla surrounding the “Dancing With The Stars” premiere.
Misty May-Treanor has a tattoo on her lower back. It’s a picture of the Roman numeral five, a tribute to Jason Kidd, May-Treanor’s favorite basketball player. Kidd wears the #5 on his jersey. May also wore the number in college.
So imagine you’re Misty’s husband, baseball player Matt Treanor, and you’re spending some “quality time” with your wife and you look down and see that tattoo. What happens when a picture of Jason Kidd’s mug pops into your head?
Posted by Christopher Glotfelty (08/27/2008 @ 5:27 pm)
In a recent Los Angeles Times article, columnist Barbara Demick examines China’s methods for cultivating Olympic athletes. It’s a very interesting read as it contrasts the American sentiment of fun and good sportsmanship to the Chinese attitude of duty and dominance.
The only mother on China’s team, Xian Dongmei, told reporters after she won her gold medal in judo that she had not seen her 18-month-old daughter in one year, monitoring the girl’s growth only by webcam. Another gold medalist, weightlifter Cao Lei, was kept in such seclusion training for the Olympics that she wasn’t told her mother was dying. She found out only after she had missed the funeral.
Chen Ruolin, a 15-year-old diver, was ordered to skip dinner for one year to keep her body sharp as a razor slicing into the water. The girl weighs 66 pounds.
“To achieve Olympic glory for the motherland is the sacred mission assigned by the Communist Party central,” is how Chinese Sports Minister Liu Peng put it at the beginning of the Games.
“You have no control over your own life. Coaches are with you all the time. People are always watching you, the doctors, even the chefs in the cafeteria. You have no choice but to train so as not to let the others down,” gymnast Chen Yibing told Chinese reporters last week after winning a gold medal on the rings. He said he could count the amount of time he’d spent with his parents “by hours . . . very few hours.”
After Beijing was chosen in 2001 to host this summer’s Games, China’s sports authorities launched Project 119 (after the number of medals available in track and field, canoeing, sailing, rowing and swimming that were not Chinese strengths) and assigned promising young athletes to focus exclusively on these sports, some of which they’d never heard of.
Of course, a federal government having its hand in athletic development is nothing new; the Soviet Union and East Germany are just two examples. However, with these Olympics being the most widely watched in history and its minute-by-minute coverage being scrutinized by a host of international columnists and bloggers on the Internet, even the smallest off-color story can cause a worldwide ripple. China, for all its faults, hosted the most sensational Olympics in recent years. We will never forget the impossibly beautiful opening and closing ceremonies, the money and effort they spent conforming the architecture of their capital, and the hospitality they showed to each athlete. Still, it’s the performances that matter, and China proved their dominance in more events than any other country - even the United States.
As this article shows, this success was planned and expected. While reading, I was not in awe of the methods employed by the Chinese government, but was surprised by the “what-can-you-do” attitude of its athletes.
Everyone watches the Olympics differently. I rooted for Michael Phelps to break Mark Spitz’s record; I followed the Redeem Team to their gold-medal success; I cheered Nastia Liukin on in the all-around gymnastics competition. What I noticed was that I was throwing my support around specific athletes and teams based just as much on their individual stories as on their American nationality. For some reason, the medal count never felt important. I’ve always assumed that Americans would dominate in some sports and other nations would dominate in others—seemed like a fairly rational outlook. Yet, upon hearing rumors of China’s totalitarian policy towards its athletes and its submission of underage female gymnasts, the medal race suddenly became a huge issue. I found myself taking interest in sports I’d never cared for: rhythm gymnastics, shot put, rowing. I wanted to know the odds and needed to see where we could edge China.
This acute and misdirected patriotism gradually waned, however, with the arrival of Usain Bolt. Watching him run, I couldn’t have cared less which nation he represented. A gold (or three) would go to Jamaica, not the United States or China, and so be it. Those races were about Bolt and Bolt only. We now know who the fastest man in the world is. (To think, at one point I thought it was Ricky Henderson.)
I loved watching these Olympics. Aside from the events, I appreciated that NBC’s coverage focused on China’s culture and just how much they cherished hosting these Games. You got the sense that its citizens were familiar with each athlete, and that they cheered and rejoiced each individual triumph.
Obviously, we live in a country where its government doesn’t delegate the path of its athletes - our constitution practically forbids it. Most Americans watch the Olympics because of an ideal, not because of a medal count. I love the fact that athletes I’ve never heard of will perform unprecedented feats in front of an international audience. If one of them happened to be an American, then I’d be proud; if they happened to be a foreigner, then I’d be congratulatory.
Here’s something to chew on in the aftermath of these Olympics: competition in sport can be an antidote for inhumane catastrophe. Relating this theory to European soccer, American novelist Paul Auster wrote:
“Passions among the spectators run high. They wave their country’s flag, they sing patriotic songs, they insult the supporters of the other team. Americans might look at these antics and think they’re all in good fun, but they’re not. They’re serious business. But at least the mock battles waged by the surrogate armies in short pants do not threaten to increase the population of widows and fatherless children…As long as countries square off against each other on the playing field, we will be able to count the casualties on the fingers of our two hands. A generation ago, they were tallied in the millions.”
I believe this mindset is similar to that of the Olympics. Competition that takes place in the Olympic arena can be viewed as a substitute for political or martial strife. As is witnessed in this article, countries will choose to go about this in different ways. China has a heavy-handed approach while the United States utilizes a free-market system; these are vastly different, but equally successful. Even in sports, these tactics are representative of these nations as a whole. Either way, we should be thankful that these “winners” are determined in athletics rather than on the battlefield.
Posted by Christopher Glotfelty (08/27/2008 @ 1:35 pm)
Last night on “The Tonight Show,” Jay Leno interviewed American gymnastics phenom, Nastia Liukin, as well as one of my all-time favorite comedians, Norm MacDonald. Jay kept the questions relatively light and Nastia handled each one with poise and good humor. MacDonald, however, was absolutely hilarious as the first guest. (If anyone can find a video of his segment it would be greatly appreciated.) Norm spoke at length about the Olympics. I’m paraphrasing here:
“And did you get a load of those speed-walkers? Don’t you think they probably got ribbed by the sprinters back at the Village? Don’t you think they’d be like, ‘Hey Sam, I saw you out there in your race—quite a brisk stroll you got there, Sam.’”
“Yeah, and that Usain Bolt guy, good Lord. You know he ran like a 9.6 or something like that in the 100-meter? So, I went down to the track at UCLA to see what I could get. And Jay, you know, I’m quite embarrassed to say, but I finished at just under 35 minutes.”
Here’s Nastia’s interview. Around the 3:40 mark Norm has a great line about how Nastia was robbed of a gold medal on the uneven bars:
“No offense, but that sounds like a bunch of Commie gobbledygook to me.”