The Boston Red Sox decided not to prolong the inevitable, swiftly dispatching the Colorado Rockies in four games to take their second World Series title in four seasons. They are the first team this decade to win two World Series, but this title carries a far greater distinction in the sports world; Red Sox Nation must now officially do what the rest of baseball fandom has been hoping they’d do for years: Shut the hell up.

No more talk about curses. There clearly never were any.

No more talk about the Yankees, and how they buy their teams. You just gave $70 million to J.D. Drew, and won two titles in four seasons. You’re the Yankees now.

No more talk about lack of respect. People were predicting the Sox as World Series winners in May.

No more talk, period. Ever. You’re now the big dogs, and as big dogs, you forfeit your right to complain about anything. If, a few years down the road, the Sox aren’t as good as they once were, shhhh. No one feels sorry for the Sox anymore, nor will they until the team sinks to Kansas City levels of despair. Enjoy the moment, but for your own sake, I would advise showing some humility. You just never know when the next 86-year drought will begin.

In a small Midwestern town, there are two kids with lemonade stands, across the street from each other. The kid on the northern side of the street wants to sell his stand. He’s had it for a long time, and he’s done well with it, but his lime-aid stand and chutney squishee stands are hemorrhaging money, so he decides to sell the lemonade stand to recoup his losses.

Two streets to the south, there’s a kid that sells grape juice. His stand is wildly successful, and while the kid is a little obnoxious, his customers love him because he wants to give them the best damn grape juice possible. The grape juice kid would love nothing more than to buy the lemonade stand that’s up for sale. He knows that he would be inheriting a loyal fan base that has wanted the lemonade stand owner to sell for years. The grape juice kid approaches the seller and expresses an interest in buying his stand.

Just then, the owner of the stand on the southern side of the street comes over.

“You can’t buy his stand,” he says.
“Why not?” asks the grape juice magnate.
“Because I don’t want you owning a lemonade stand,” he says.
“What do you care?”
“I don’t think it’s in the best interest of the rest of the lemonade stand owners.”
“How do you figure?”
“We owners all get along pretty well, and we don’t take to your kind.”
“My kind?”
“You’re brash, you’re a loudmouth, and you question authority.”
“You say that last part like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is a bad thing. You’ll cause trouble, I just know it.”
“Well, what makes you think you can decide who owns this stand and who doesn’t?”
“I’m tight with the commissioner of lemonade stands.”
“The what?”
“The commissioner. He and I go way back. I recommended him for the job, and now I own him for as long as he holds the title. If I say that I don’t want you to own that stand, then you won’t own that stand.”
“This doesn’t make any sense.”
“Just trust me on this: you’ll never own this stand, we won’t allow it.”
“So who will you permit to buy the stand?”
“Old Man Parsons.”
“WHAT? He doesn’t know a thing about lemonade, and he doesn’t care about it, either!”
“Yeah, but he and I go way back, and he won’t rock the boat like you will.”
“I see. You like him because he’ll do whatever you tell him to do.”
“What are you implying?”
“That it is a colossal conflict of interest that you have any say whatsoever in who owns the stand across the street from you! It is clearly in your best interest for this stand to be as mediocre as it can possibly be, since it means less competition for your stand. But even if this stand does make more money than you, you STILL benefit because you share revenue at year’s end, right? You can talk all you want about how you’re acting in the best interest of the other lemonade stand owners, but let’s be honest here: you’re only looking out for yourself, because you’re cheap and you don’t want to work any harder to make the ridiculous amounts of money that you make with your own stand, which, frankly, is the junkiest stand in the neighborhood.”
“See? I knew that you’d question authority.”
The grape juice kid is fed up. “I’m done with you.” He finally pops the big question to the seller. “So tell me, how much do you want for the stand?”
“I don’t want to sell it to you,” the seller says.
“What?! Why not?”
“You’ll make me look bad. You’ll go out and spend more money to improve the stand in ways that I never did, and I’ll look like a deadbeat owner by comparison.”
“But you WERE a deadbeat owner! Nothing I do is going to change that!”
“Yes, but you’ll just make it that much more obvious. I’d rather the new buyer be someone just like me.”
“So you’d rather doom the lemonade stand to another two or three decades of mediocrity, spitting in the faces of the faithful customers that lined your pockets year in and year out, in the interest of saving face? Even though everyone knows that you’re dead broke and you need as much money as you can get your hands on?”
“That’s right.”
“Come on, what is Old Man Parsons offering for the stand?”
“He hasn’t given me a quote, but I’m sure it will be a fair and reasonable price.”
“Whatever he offers you, I will double it. Double your money. What do you say?”
“No thank you.”
“Are you all insane? How have you managed to make any money running these stands all these years?”
“Dunno. Ask our customers. After all, you’re the only one of us that gives a damn about them! Ahhhhh hahahahahahahaha!”

And with that, the two lemonade stand owners walked away from their stands and shared a cigar that one of them had stolen from his father.

Leave it to our friends at Super Deluxe to spin the Barry Bonds “moral quagmire” in a way that no one has considered yet. And the sad part is that it does not seem at all beyond the realm of possibility that this is how Bonds would react, if given the choice in real life that he’s given here. Ladies and Gentlemen, “It’s a Wonderful Game.”

Well, at least I got the “______ in 5” part right. The guy holding the sign in the new Busch Stadium wasn’t kidding when he said, “Hit it to the pitcher.” Ye gods. Kenny Rogers was surely hitting cameramen off-camera after what he saw on the field tonight.

The game had two goats in place, depending on how it turned out. If the Cardinals lose, then your goat is Chris Duncan, who booted a routine fly out to right field when Jim Edmonds invaded his space and freaked him out, causing Duncan to take his eye off the ball. One pitch later, Sean Casey deposits a ball into the right field seats and gives Detroit a 2-1 lead. Later, Duncan misplays a ball at the wall – also hit by Casey, his second double of the night – but that does not come back to haunt the Cardinals in any way.

The goat for the Tigers, on the other hand, is undoubtedly Brandon Inge, despite his lofty batting average during the Series. He made the throwing error to first that allowed the first run to score. Then, after hitting a double, he was caught in a rundown between second and third after running on contact to a ball up the middle, which Jeff Weaver picked off and hurled to third to begin the rundown.

And then there was the worst play of the game, which will make sci-fi geeks the world over wonder if the Matrix really does exist (well, the sci-fi geeks that watch sports, anyway). With runners on first and second, Justin Verlander, who was toooooooooootally overexcited for this game, fielded a come-backer from Jeff Weaver, the freaking pitcher, and threw to Inge to get the force at third. Only problem was, he threw about three feet to the left of the bag, just like Joel Zumaya did in Game 3. If you combine the two official errors, and the unofficial baserunning error, Inge was involved in all three plays.

I did say at the beginning of the playoffs that the Tigers were a year early, that they weren’t ready to compete yet. Still, I have to think that the Yankees would have put up a better fight than this in the World Series. Maybe there is something to be said for the LDS being seven games instead of five. Until that day, congrats to the Cardinals, and World Series MVP David Eckstein (!), for proving us experts horribly, horribly wrong. Only five more months before the Cubs begin breaking my heart once again.

The camera doesn’t lie. Fox caught a shot of Kenny Rogers’ pitching hand that spoke a thousand words. Analyst Tim McCarver seemed to be giving Rogers the benefit of the doubt at first, calling it “discoloration,” but we were all thinking the same thing: dude’s got pine tar on his hand. The only way this gets better is if George Brett leaps from the stands to get in the face of the umpires.

Not that it would have mattered if Rogers left a jar of Vaseline on the mound next to him: the Gambler was, um, dealing tonight, limiting the Cardinals to two hits over eight innings (he washed his hands after the first inning, so even if he was cheating in the first, the Cards still couldn’t hit him for seven “clean” innings) and running his consecutive scoreless innings streak to 23. Jeff Weaver, to his credit, pitched very well, striking out five and walking one. But he basically lost the game the second that Craig Monroe hit that towering home run in the first inning, Monroe’s fifth of the postseason. One run was all that Rogers needed, though the Tigers added an RBI double by Carlos Guillen and an RBI single by Sean Casey.

Speaking of Rogers, every time they showed a close-up of him on that camera behind home plate, I thought of Henry Rollins. I half expected him to say, “I’m Kenny Rogers, and this is Off-Road Tattoo!” The close-up shots of Weaver, on the other hand, were like watching the Honkey Cam. He made a face that, to paraphrase Bill Hicks, was the human equivalent of showing a dog a card trick. Durrrr.

When Casey was in the batter’s box, I kept thinking, “What’s with the tongue?” He’s got some Michael Jordan thing going. Then Fox cut to a shot of four men wearing baseball-shaped masks over their faces, and I thought, “Hey, Los Straitjackets is here!” A very entertaining game all the way around, even if very little happened on the field until the ninth, when Todd Jones nearly blew the game after recording two quick outs and then giving up a single, booting a routine grounder, coughing up a double and then plunking a guy. Yadier Molina, the ninth inning hero of Game 7 against the Mets, grounded out weakly to shortstop. Game over. Yikes. Maybe send Joel Zumaya out for the next game that’s on the line?

Monroe gave a Yogi-ish quote in the post-game interviews, saying, “Living out this dream is what every kid dreams about.” No kidding?

At last, the Big Show has arrived and, despite the predictions of many, it is 100% New York-free. Anthony Statler and David Medsker break down each team, position by position, and offer their brilliant, armchair expert analysis on who takes the prize. (Keep in mind that at the beginning of the season, Medsker predicted the White Sox would beat the Mets in the World Series. Whoops.)

Catcher: Yadier Molina vs. Ivan Rodriguez
Johnny Bench is in hog heaven. Pudge and the youngest Flying Molina Brother are the hardest catchers to run against in baseball. The similarities, however, end there. Despite Molina’s heroic two-run homer in Game 7 of the NLCS, he’s actually a lousy hitter (.216-29-6-49). Look at that batting average again: it’s 84 points below Pudge’s average during the regular season. Plus, Pudge has been here before, winning it all as a member of the 2003 Marlins. He’ll be the calm in the storm for the Tigers youngsters.
Edge: Tigers

First Base: Albert Pujols vs. Sean Casey
If Casey is healthy (he missed the final two games of the ALCS), he is extremely hard to strike out and provides the Tigers a nice line-drive hitter from the left side of the plate. With no disrespect to Casey, however, Pujols is the best pure-hitter in this series and possibly in all of baseball. Pujols can hit for power, average and is amazing in the clutch (he hit .397 with runners in scoring position in the regular season).
Edge: Cardinals.

Second Base: Ronnie Belliard vs. Placido Polanco
Polanco has the edge in terms of batting average and fielding percentage (six errors to Belliard’s 11), but Belliard has considerably more pop than Polanco, hitting 13 home runs this season to Polanco’s four. The Cards get another edge, but this Series will not be won or lost by who’s playing second base.
Edge: Cardinals

Shortstop: David Eckstein vs. Carlos Guillen
Eckstein is a gritty player who will do whatever he has to do to make a play both in the field and at bat. Although he struggled in the ALCS (hitting just .180), Guillen led Detroit in batting average, runs scored, stolen bases and on base percentage in the regular season. He is also one of the most underrated middle infielders in the game.
Edge: Tigers.

Third Base: Scott Rolen vs. Brandon Inge
File this one under who’d a thunk it: Brandon Inge actually outslugged Scott Rolen this year, hitting 27 home runs – in the 9-hole, no less – to Rolen’s 22. However, in every other category, both offensive and defensive, Rolen wipes the floor with Inge. He strikes out almost half as often, hits for higher average, and is a multiple Gold Glove winner. Inge, um…hey, look! Another dinger! To Inge’s credit, at least he’s healthy enough to play every day. But the Cardinals aren’t nearly as worried about facing Inge as the Tigers are about facing Rolen.
Edge: Cardinals

Outfield: So Taguchi/Preston Wilson, Jim Edmonds, Juan Encarnacion vs. Craig Monroe, Curtis Granderson, Magglio Ordonez
When Edmonds is healthy, he has the ability to do it all at the plate. St. Louis has also found a nice balance with Taguchi and Wilson, but Encarnacion has lacked power and will chase pitches. Even though he hit the home run to send the Tigers into the WS, Ordonez struggled at the plate for much of the ALCS. However, he can get hot at any moment and if Monroe can continue is tear (.429, one HR, four RBI in the ALCS), Detroit is going to be lethal. Defensively, Edmonds and Granderson (who has tons of speed) are the best out of this group, while Ordonez and Encarnacion have had their fair share of issues in right field (although Ordonez has played well defensively in the postseason).
Edge: Tigers, slightly.

Starting Pitching: Kenny Rogers, Justin Verlander, Jeremy Bonderman, Nate Robertson, Zach Miner vs. Chris Carpenter, Jeff Weaver, Jeff Suppan, Jason Marquis, Anthony Reyes
The Tigers’ ERA was seven tenths of a point better than that of the Cardinals. Opponents batted 11 points lower against the Tigers than the Cardinals (.257 to .268). The Cardinals gave up 104 more earned runs than the Tigers. And those are the regular season numbers. The Tigers’ playoff pitching line? 7-1 record, 2.92 ERA, 52/22 K/BB ratio. The Cardinals have pitched great this postseason too (7-4, 2.97, 70/40), but the bloom finally comes off of Jeff Weaver’s rose.
Edge: Tigers

Bullpen:
Former Brave Adam Wainwright, Tyler Johnson and Randy Flores have overachieved thus far for the Cardinals, but they are about to play on quite another different level. The Tigers have an overpowering pen that has really come together through the playoffs. Rookie flamethrower Joel Zumaya has the ability to shut down top hitters while closer Todd Jones has been lights out after an up and down regular season. Detroit has also gotten quality outings from Fernando Rodney, Jamie Walker and Wilfredo Ledezma.
Edge: Tigers.

Bench Players:
Aside from So Taguchi and his gaudier-than-gaudy line (1.000, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 3.750 OPS), the Cardinals bench is hitting between .000 (John Rodriguez) and .227, and that hitter is…wait for it…Scott Spezio? That’s right, the alleged Mr. Clutch is actually hitting near the Mendoza line, though I suppose that lends credence to Reggie Jackson’s claims that batting average is overrated. Taguchi’s heroics aside, I’d still rather face him than Marcus Thames and his 26 home runs.
Edge: Tigers

Manager: Tony LaRusa vs. Jim Leyland
The two friends have enough postseason experience to make Tommy Lasorda blush. Despite having possibly the least talented Cardinals team in recent years, LaRusa keeps getting the most out of his players every time they take the field. The job that Leyland has done in Detroit has been nothing short of remarkable. Leyland has a nice mix of young and veteran players that he knows how to use in all situations. His players have learned how to win and have the utmost respect for Leyland.
Edge: Even.

Anthony’s prediction:
I guess the old adage of the hottest teams at the end of the season usually win the World Series. Both of these teams were left for dead at the end of the regular season – and rightfully so – as both squads stumbled into the postseason. However, credit must be given to both of these teams, because all that matters in the end is winning ballgames. Sorry St. Louis, your time is up though. I’ve never seen a team of destiny quite like the Detroit Tigers, and their pitching will be too much for the Cards.
Tigers in 4.

David’s Prediction:
What Anthony said. Detroit’s had a chance to rest at the time when they needed it the most, while St. Louis had to beg, borrow and steal to make it this far. Say goodnight, Tony.
Tigers in 5

There is no joy in Metville, for the mighty Carlos has struck out. Looking. On a 55 mph curveball.

The baseball gods will surely punish me for being so pun-heavy – God knows, I smack around the BE writers when they get out of control with them – but someone needs to ‘splain to me how Carlos Beltran, a Cardinals killer if ever there was one, could stand frozen, with two strikes, on the most hittable curve ball in the history of playoff baseball. For crying out loud, at least pretend to swing at the damn thing. Otherwise, you render fellow outfield Endy Chavez’s incredible catch of Scott Rolen’s home run in the sixth – which Chavez turned into a double play – completely pointless.

To be fair, it’s not as though Beltran is the only one that didn’t come through in the clutch in Game 7. Cliff Floyd, pinch hitting for losing pitcher Aaron Heilman (can’t really blame him for throwing a belt-high fastball to the youngest Flying Molina Brother, when only nine pitchers got away with that all season), was also frozen by an Adam Wainwright curveball. And let us not forget the bottom of the sixth, right after Chavez’s incredible play (which Floyd never, ever would have been able to make). After a throwing error by Rolen with a runner on first – loved his joke post-game about hitting the bull, a sly “Bull Durham” reference – Jeff Suppan intentionally walks Shawn Green to load the bases. Jose Valentin strikes out, and Chavez, the most eager beaver you’ve ever seen, swings at the first pitch, only to hit a meek flyout to Jim Edmonds in center field.

While the Cubs fan in me is angry to see the Cards advance, I have to take my hat off to them. Everyone said they were the weakest team that La Russa’s brought to the postseason in years, maybe ever. Well, maybe that’s what it will take for them to win it all. After all, the Yankees have proven that the biggest lineup isn’t necessarily the best one. Are the 2006 Cardinals the 1996 Yankees in disguise? We’ll find out Saturday.

You know, it’s funny. I just remembered that my friends and I were all rooting for the Yankees in that Series, because the Braves were the heavy favorites and we wanted to see the underdog Yankees win. How odd to call the Yankees underdogs at anything. But that’s what they were, and they won it handily. Note to Detroit: don’t get complacent. You have a much more difficult Series ahead of you than you think.

And so it’s come to this: the least of New York’s pitching (pick an Oliver, Perez or Darren) against St. Louis’ most aggressively average (Jeff Suppan). Home teams have a substantial edge in Game 7’s, but I attended the Game 7 at Wrigley between the Cubs and Marlins, so you know, anything’s possible.

Give the Mets credit; they sent rookie John Maine out to battle Chris Carpenter, arguably the best pitcher in the National League, and came out on the winning end. In fact, the Mets won both games that Carpenter started in this series, a most impressive feat. Jose Reyes leading off the game with a home run was a good start.

The Tigers have to be loving this, watching both teams exhaust their pitching staffs like that. Then again, could the lengthy break make the Tigers pitchers rusty? Personally, I’ve never bought into that idea. There is no way extra rest at the end of the playoffs could hurt anyone, especially pitchers who are almost out of gas.

Everyone thought this was New York’s year. The only thing the Mets are hoping for is that tonight is their night.

The Mets have to be shaking in their boots right now, down 3-2 and staring down Chris Carpenter on the mound for the Cardinals. There was always a risk of the Mets being in this position the moment the news leaked that they would be losing not just Pedro but El Duque as well. Tom Glavine’s dandy, but Pedro’s mean. And mean is what wins in the playoffs.

It would be a shame, really, if the Mets came this far, only to fall apart before taking their shot at the brass ring. It would be an even bigger shame to lose to the weakest Cardinals team in years. Though to be fair, the Cards remind me of the mid-‘90s Yankees teams, the ones that had some star players (Paul O’Neill, a young Derek Jeter), but more importantly, they had a clutch supporting cast of guys like Scott Brosius and Shane Spencer. Notice that the bigger the Yankees got, the sooner their fortunes would turn in the postseason? Just a thought.

Fox is surely rooting for the Mets, not just because it would mean an extra game of playoff baseball, but because it would mean more New York baseball. As much as fans love seeing teams like the Tigers, White Sox, Marlins and Angels appear out of nowhere and win it all, Fox hates not having one of the New York teams in the Big Show. Detroit and St. Louis are ranked #11 and 52 respectively in population. Tulsa is actually bigger than St. Louis. Who knew?

I wonder how much the strike zone is going to grow/shrink tonight…

Mets SMASH! Carlos Beltran homered twice and Carlos Delgado hit a clutch three-run homer (along with a 2-RBI ground rule double) to break a 2-2 tie. After that, the Mets never looked back, blowing it open in the sixth inning when the first seven batters reached safely. Single, single, walk, double, walk, single, double. Three outs later, this game was over.

The Mets needed this in the biggest way imaginable. They were staring down elimination in Game 5, and having to bring Tom Glavine back on three days’ rest to not just keep them alive but save the series. This way, they get some semblance of momentum as both teams head back to New York.

Either way, the Motor City Kitties are relaxing in Day-trois awaiting whichever NL team decides to attend the slaughter.

And just like that, the Mets are in big, big trouble. The Mets’ bullpen threw about four times as many pitches last night as the Cardinals pen, and tonight, starter Steve Trachsel had to leave after loading the bases without recording an out in the second inning. He even started the second by giving up a solo home run to Cardinals pitcher Jeff Suppan (!). Two more runs scored on a wild pitch and a fielder’s choice, and that was more than enough for the wheeling and dealing Suppan, who would scatter five hits over eight innings. Not that there was any need to watch after the second inning. Oh, and who knocked in those two runs in the first? Scott Spezio, with another 2-RBI triple. Think he’s playing for a fat new contract?

After four innings of sluggish hitting on the part of the Mets, I started to drift toward my TiVo queue, so I watched the back halves of the first two “SNL” episodes from this season. Man, is that show in a bad way. All of that talent in the cast, and they can’t write a skit to save their lives. Come back Tina Fey. You’re sorely missed.

The Mets send the erratic Oliver Perez (3-13, 6.55, 102K/68 BB) to the mound for Game 4. And at once it hits me that the Mets may not play another game in Flushing this year. Good pitching always beats good hitting. Go ask the AL champion Detroit Tigers about that one.

Sorry, I went out, had dinner with friends, and actually had a life for a change. Did I miss anything?

Hmmm, I missed two home runs from Carlos Delgado, which means Chris Carpenter got knocked around. I came home in the top of the seventh, only to watch New York blow a two run lead by giving up a single and a walk to Albert Pujols and Jim Edmonds with two outs, only to watch Scott Spezio – the same Scott Spezio that was cut by Seattle last year – drill an 0-2 pitch over the right field wall, but Shawn Green got enough glove on it to keep it in play and limit him to a triple. Boom, tie game.

Cut to the top of the ninth and the Sandman, Billy Wagner. He falls behind to So Taguchi (2006 postseason stats: 1-1, HR, RBI) with Pujols on deck, so he grooves him a high fastball with a 3-2 count. Pow. So Taguchi, who had two home runs all year, has two more home runs in the playoffs. His slugging percentage at the moment is 2.000. Not too shabby.

The wheels would fall off Wagner after that. Pujols would double (it was actually a single, but Endy Chavez’s throw was so wide that Pujols took an extra base), Edmonds would knock him over on a grounder to second, and then Spezio – again, Spezio – drilled a double past Delgado down the first base line. Juan Encarnacion would then knock a base hit up the middle, scoring Spezio. Ball game.

Tony LaRussa had the luck of the Leyland tonight. Every person Leyland has inserted into the game has come through for him. LaRussa puts Taguchi in as a defensive replacement, and he hits a home run. Yeah, that’ll work.

Gamer 3: Steve Trachsel vs. Jeff Suppan

Did home plate umpire Tim Welke have a flight to catch? Based on the strike zone he was calling tonight, he clearly had a better place to be. He was calling strikes that were half a foot off the plate. It was like Atlanta in the ‘90s all over again, when John Smoltz and Tom Glavine (coincidentally, tonight’s starter for New York) got an extra four inches on each side of the plate. Even Jeff Weaver, the starting pitcher for the Cardinals, was upset when a bad pitch was called a strike when he was batting.

Curiously, Welke called a good game from then on. He probably thought he was squeezing Weaver, but in fact he was calling balls and strikes according to the rulebook of Major League Baseball. Fox’s equivalent to the K Zone was repeatedly showing balls out of the strike zone called as strikes. Welke’s gonna hate reviewing that video in the morning.

Cliff Floyd pulled up lame in the second inning rounding first on a fly out, and oddly enough, that turned out to be a good thing. His replacement, defensive specialist Endy Chavez, made a Web Gem-worthy play in left on a sinking fly ball that would have meant all kinds of trouble for the Mets. I’m betting Floyd won’t play again in this series, so this may cause problems for the Mets in the short term. But for this game, Endy Chavez was The Man.

For a series that everyone expected to be a series of 9-7 games, the first one was anything but. Jeff Weaver has been so phenomenal in the post-season, someone should do a DNA test to make sure it’s not his little brother Jared on the mound instead. Yeah, they showed a shot of Jared in the stands during the game, but come on, his cap was down low, that totally could have been Jeff.

So yeah, the runs. Paul LoDuca hit a single, and then Carlos Beltran, who has atrocious numbers in Shea Stadium this season, absolutely crushed a pitch from Weaver into right-center. The thing hit halfway up the scoreboard, a good 400+ feet away. That’s all they needed.

Expect more of the same tomorrow, when Chris Carpenter comes back from three days’ rest to take on rookie John Maine. Suddenly, this slug-happy series is turning into another pitchers’ duel.

It would always rankle me when the guys on ESPN would say that whoever represents the National League in the World Series is going to get slaughtered, but now I’m finally coming to grips with that assessment. Yes, St. Louis and New York thoroughly dominated their opponents in the NLDS, but their opponents (San Diego and the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles) looked so anemic that they may as well have been playing the Pirates and the Cubs. Will the NLCS be a blowout as well? The Scores Report handicaps the series…

St. Louis Cardinals
Strengths: Clutch hitting and solid defense. Their series against San Diego may have been lopsided, but it’s not as though they blew the Padres out or anything. They scored 14 runs in four games, a mere 3.5 runs per game. To win games like that, you need to play good defense, and that’s exactly what they’ve done.
Weaknesses: Their pitching is still suspect. Jeff Weaver was fantastic in Game 2 of the NLDS, but the Cardinals would be wise to lower their expectations for Weaver against a much more potent Mets lineup. Also Chris Carpenter will likely only get one start this time around, which means Weaver, Jeff Suppan and Jason Marquis will all have to step up.

New York Mets
Strengths: Sweeping the Dodgers allows the Mets to get their rotation back in line, meaning Tom Glavine will start Game 1. The everyday players also get a few extra days of rest, an invaluable currency at this point in the season. And speaking of those everyday players, the Mets have twice the bats that the Cardinals have.
Weaknesses: Pedro and El Duque are done, and Cliff Floyd appears to be headed for the shelf as well. John Maine pitched well in the NLDS, but the Mets are thanking their lucky stars they didn’t have to send Oliver Perez out to the hill, something that will be unavoidable here. The bullpen is tough, but they won’t matter if the starters give up ten runs.

Good for St. Louis for not crumbling in the playoffs the way they crumbled down the stretch. But it ends here.

Prediction: Mets in 6

For a moment, this one looked like it could be interesting. St. Louis ace Chris Carpenter, who walked a total of nine batters in the first inning all season, walked three in the first inning of Game 4 of the NLDS. And that was after giving up two singles. The Padres were given the rare gift of an ace pitcher out of sorts, his curve ball all over the place, and they exploited that situation to the tune of…two runs. Two, runs. With the bases loaded and one out, after Carpenter had walked in a run, Mike Cameron had to beat out a double play ball to plate a second run. And that would be it. Carpenter would regain his composure, and the Padres would go back to their flailing ways.

Here’s the most damning stat of the series: San Diego was 2-32 with runners in scoring position. Wow.

Watching the performance by St. Louis, along with the Tigers’ upset of the Yankees, is a testament to Tony Kornheiser’s adage that momentum is tomorrow’s starting pitcher. It didn’t make a lick of difference that both teams were on the verge of historical collapses at the end of the regular season. All that matters now is that they’re in the Show, and both teams are ready to play. Just like the White Sox last year.

St. Louis now heads to New York to take on the M*A*S*H unit New York Mets, who lost Pedro Martinez and Orlando Hernandez before the NLDS (anyone else out there thing Pedro is pretty much done?), and are now looking at losing Cliff Floyd to his lingering Achilles injury. What once seemed like a done deal for the Mets early in the season is looking like a mixed bag at best now. That should make for an interesting series, hopefully more interesting than either NLDS series was.

Okay, first thing’s first: Unless broadcaster Jon Miller was sick, there was no excuse for his lifeless performance behind the mic today. Now, I love listening to Jon Miller and Joe Morgan on Sunday Night Baseball, but he totally phoned this game in, sounding bored that St. Louis was losing and denying him the opportunity to talk about Albert Pujols for three hours.

In fairness to Miller, the game wasn’t terribly exciting. Chris Young took the Cardinals hitters to school, striking out nine in 6 2/3 innings. The vaunted foursome of Pujols, Jim Edmonds, Scott Rolen and Juan Encarnacion went 0-15 with seven strikeouts, including two from the impossible-to-whiff Pujols. Their only run came from a blast in the eighth by So Taguchi (!). I have never heard a St. Louis crowd as quiet as this one.

San Diego scored all their runs in one inning as well. Russell Branyan doubled to right, scoring Adrian Gonzalez and Mike Cameron. Branyan took third on Ronnie Belliard’s fielding error, then scored on Geoff Blum’s sacrifice fly. That brings the total number of runs scored by the Padres in three playoff games to…four. When they actually get hitters on base, they either choke at the plate– they hit four doubles today, but only one of them resulted in any runs – or they space out on the base paths. Witness Mike Piazza getting picked off at first by catcher Yadier Molina.

San Diego now has to face Chris Carpenter for a second time in Game 4. Uh oh. If the Padres have been saving their hits for a rainy day, this better be it.

Piranhas? Try pira-nahhhh. The Twins, once again, had to play catch-up against the A’s who, thanks to some timely hitting (a three-run double by Marco Scutaro) and a deplorable defensive performance by the Twins (three errors), beat Minnesota to advance to the ALCS for the first time since 1990.

Like the first two games, Minnesota kept it close, but an intentional walk to Frank Thomas with two outs in the seventh inning proved to be the Twins’ undoing. Eric Chavez walked, then Justin Morneau made an error, loading the bases. Nick Swisher walked, scoring Thomas from third, and then the big slugger Marco Scutaro doubled to right, clearing the bases. One hit, four runs.

Torii Hunter was also the center of attention on a questionable call, getting thrown out on a play at the plate, even though Oakland catcher Jason Kendall didn’t appear to tag him. The throw beat Hunter to the plate, and the home plate umpire did not put himself in the position to get an unobstructed view of the tag, so he put two and two together…only he was wrong. Still, when you don’t have the lead in a single inning of the postseason, you don’t get the calls, simple as that. And frankly, any team that puts Jason Tyner, who has yet to hit a home run in the majors, in the lineup as a DH deserves whatever they get.

Oakland is now in the driver’s seat, getting to rest their pitchers and reshuffle their rotation for the winner of the Tigers/Yankees series, which is proving to be the most interesting series thus far. Sorry, Twinkies. Maybe next year, when/if Liriano is healthy.

Oh, and I’ll let Mr. Statler blog the Yankees/Tigers game, but Alex Rodriguez got totally hosed on a play at third base where he tagged out Pudge Rodriguez but was called safe.

The Padres couldn’t score a run on Jeff Weaver. Jeff Weaver, he of the 5.76 ERA this season and the lifetime record of 86-101, the one who was waived by the Angels earlier this year…San Diego couldn’t score a run off of him. Hell, they could barely hit him. Weaver gave up two hits, both singles, over five innings.

St. Louis limped into the playoffs thanks to a last-minute collapse by Houston. They looked worn down and exhausted, while San Diego won 10 of their last 13 games to take the division. Of course, none of that technically matters now, but you’d think some of their momentum would carry over. Instead, this is like “Freaky Friday” on a grand scale. San Diego chooses to pitch to Albert Pujols with Preston Wilson on second, and of course Pujols belts a ball to left field and scores Wilson. San Diego then had Pujols in a rundown, but Pujols reached second safely after no one came over to receive the throw from first base. Pujols would later score, and that’s all they’d need. Two runs. That’s all they’d need.

San Diego now has to go into the belly of the whale and face the most rabid fans west of the Tappan Zee Bridge. The only thing the Padres have in their favor now is that they are a better road team than a home team, and boy, did they prove that this week. One run in two games. I wonder what the Phillies would have done in that situation…

Game 3, Saturday: Chris Young (11-5, 3.46) vs. Jeff Suppan (12-7, 4.12)

Well, so much for my ‘Twins in 4’ prediction. In 18 innings of post-season baseball, Minnesota has not led once. The two runs they scored today came from two huge blasts from Michael Cuddyer and Justin Morneau, who hit the biggest fly ball I’ve ever seen. But that only tied the game, and then Torii Hunter – perennial Gold Glove candidate Torii Hunter – made an error in judgment that can only be considered Cub-like. With one on and two outs, Hunter dove for a sinking fly ball from Mark Kotsay, which skipped past him and rolled all the way to the wall. Kotsay, who has pretty decent wheels, circled the bases for an inside the park home run. Ow.

Here’s how listless the Twins have been: they didn’t even put a runner on base with less than two outs until the tail end of the game. That makes it really hard to manufacture runs when you don’t have any outs to give. The Twins now have to send Brad Radke, who’s pitched only once since August 25, to the mound and save their season. Geez, I bet the White Sox would have put up more of a fight than this.

Game 3: Brad Radke (12-9, 4.31) vs. Danny Haren (14-13, 4.12)

When I broke down the playoff teams for Bullz-Eye, I said the following about San Diego when detailing their weaknesses: “If Jake Peavy gets pounded – and that’s happened to him quite a few times this year – the offense is not built to mount a large comeback.” There you have it, proof positive that Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa reads Bullz-Eye.

Here’s how bad San Diego is at catching up: when Albert Pujols hit that bomb in the fourth inning (which was only a two-run shot), the game already seemed out of reach for the Padres. And sure enough, those two runs are all the Cardinals would need, though they tacked on three more for good measure. San Diego did give LaRussa a brief scare in the seventh, when they loaded the bases with one out. But Mark Bellhorn struck out, of course, and Todd Walker was robbed by Ronnie Belliard in short right field to end the inning.

San Diego has now dropped seven straight games to St. Louis in the playoffs, but that may change on Thursday when they face human pitching machine Jeff Weaver. Then again, the Padres are trotting out 76-year-old David Wells, so…