Ole Miss’ search for a new mascot to replace “Colonel Reb” is one of the dumber stories I’ve chosen not to follow over the last couple of years. But if the story was big enough to make it into ESPN’s “Headlines” section then damn it, it’s big enough for TSR.
The student body has spoken and they say: “Rebel Black Bear” is our new mascot. No joke. They’re still the Ole Miss Rebels, but their mascot is now a big black bear.
At Ole Miss games from here on out, a “Rebel Black Bear” will now be running onto the field, pumping up the crowd the only way a black bear who is also a rebel knows how. (Yeah, I’m not sure how a rebel black bear pumps up a crowd. Use your imagination.)
The school wanted to replace Colonel Reb, so it opened up voting for a new mascot back in March. The three choices were narrowed down to “Rebel Land Shark,” “Rebel Black Bear” and “Hotty Totty,” which was a goofy, muscular, human-like gray guy.
“Rebel Black Bear” won by 62%, although it got strong push from Star Wars character Admiral Ackbar because a bunch of students started an internet campaign for it. In the end, Lucasfilms, which owns the Admiral Ackbar character, declined to give Ole Miss the rights to use the image for their mascot, proving how stupid all of this really was.
Personally, I would have gone with the Rebel Land Shark. Why? I don’t f*cking know. Because sharks are cooler than bears.