Tuesday the Boston Red Sox acquired reliever Eric Gagne from the Texas Rangers in exchange for Kason Gabbard, David Murphy and Engel Beltre. The BoSox are just plain sick from top to bottom, from their stacked lineup to their solid pitching staff.
Okay, so your team is facing Boston and is down heading into the seventh inning. At any time during the next three innings, you could face Gagne, Hideki Okajima or closer Jonathan Papelbon. Thanks for playing, drive home safely.
If Boston’s butt holes didn’t consistently pucker up to the size of an M&M in the second half every year (save for 2004 of course), I’d declare the rest of the American League D.O.A from here on out. But I digress.